Another Day, Another Jackass Dressed As A Superhero Robs A Store: Batman Does McD's

October 13, 2010


Apparently Batman (who's a known fast-food thief) robbed a McDonalds in San Francisco last night. Why San Francisco? Because he and Robin retired there to ride rainbows to their hearts' content. But apparently the dong-loving duo have fallen on hard times. Double entendre, I'm counting it.

A man wearing a Batman mask stormed the restaurant at 522 El Camino Real around 9 p.m. and demanded money from the restaurant manager, police said. He fled with an undetermined amount of cash from the restaurant's office, police said.

The one-time hero seemed in desperate condition. Apparently struggling in this economy to make monthly payments on his slick Batmobile, the Dark Knight fled the crime scene in a silver, 2-door Honda, police said.

Question was also raised about Batman's dental insurance. The restaurant manager told cops that the masked robber wore "false vampire teeth" during the raid, police said.

God that's depressing. What's next, stealing electricity? Because I do that. My neighbors never use their balcony so I ran an extension cord from their outside plug right into my living room. They pay every time I use my entertainment center! Plus, even if they do find out they won't tell because I've already threatened to kill them several times. In song.

♫ It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood,

a beautiful day for a neighbor.
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
I'll stab you while you're sleeping

Batman hits bottom, robs McDonald's in Belmont [sfexaminer]

Thanks to John, who doesn't do fast food because he likes to take his time and chew. Chewing, HA, you're so 20th century. Now, where'd I put those cheeseburger pills?

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