Sounds Delicious: Green Lantern Glo-Balls

September 16, 2010


There are two kinds of desserts in this world: those that glow, and those that taste like ass. Thankfully, Hostess (I SAID I'LL SEAT MYSELF!) GloBalls glow. But not really, they're just bright-ass green and are the official prepacked fattening food snack of the Green Lantern. And speaking of glowing balls: did I ever tell you about the time I won a hot sauce drinking contest? Because I did that. Except my balls never shined, it just burnt the insides of my penis and expanded my pee-tube urethra like 4X. Not even kidding -- ever since, NO MATTER HOW MANY BEERS I'VE HAD, it's never taken me longer than two seconds to empty my bladder. It's like popping a water balloon over a urinal.

Green Lantern Reenters the Snack Cake Arena with Hostess Glo Balls [comicsalliance]

Thanks to Jeff, who only pees sitting down because he's terrified of back-splash ever since he hosed his pants on an important date.

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