Nintendo: "Our Next Console Is Gonna Blow Your Effin' Socks Off AND Suckle Ya Toes!"

September 8, 2010


According to Japanese game designer/Metroid co-creator Yoshio Sakamoto, the next Nintendo console is gonna be so hot just touching it will send your grandchildren to the hospital with 3rd degree burns. Aye yi yi -- that's one hot tamale. Per the man himself:

"At Nintendo we always have the obligation to surprise users with a new game console," Sakamoto told website 3D Juegos in a recent interview. "We have never done what others have. We prefer to create something new that catches attention, and I think this will continue this time as well. Surely the new Nintendo machine will leave you all with your mouth open."

Last year, Nintendo president Satoru Iwata stressed the importance of surprising people with the new Nintendo console -- more importantly, Iwata mentioned how it was important for Nintendo to include "meaningful" surprises for consumers. "As for timing," Iwata said at the time, "it may be three years from now, five years from now or eight years from now."

Whoa whoa whoa -- eight years from now? Who's to say there's even gonna be an eight years from now? Did the ancient Mayans teach us anything? Corn tortillas are the shit!

Nintendo's Next Console Will Leave You With Your Mouth Open [kotaku]

Thanks to Brutus, who agrees eight years is a long time to wait for a bunch of children's games.

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