Don't Read Before Lunch: Man Finds Worm In Eyeball, Doctor Blasts It To Death With Laser

September 21, 2010


John Matthews is a man. A man who used to have a little worm eating its way around his eyeball before a doctor PEW PEW PEWed that little SOB with a laser. Lasers: what CAN'T they do? That was a trick question, lasers can do everything.

John Matthews loves to hunt turkeys and travel to foreign places like Mexico. During one of those adventures, something crawled inside his body.

When two dark spots appeared in his vision and his eyesight became a little hazy, he headed to the doctor.

Soon after making the diagnosis, Dr. Folk armed himself with a laser and put the worm in the cross-hairs.

John was awake the whole time and said he was thinking, "Hurry up and kill the thing. Good luck shootin', doc...I saw something wiggling and I asked if the worm was wiggling. The doc said, 'Yes.' I said, 'I can see it.'"

Dr. Folk said, "When you hit it with the laser, it got very upset. As upset as a worm can get, I suppose...The thing was just thrashing around violently. It would be like one of those titan movies or something."

The worm is dead. It will decompose over time. Now, John must do computer exercises to strengthen his eye. His vision has improved, but may never return to normal.

My God that's disgusting. As a matter of fact, I'm *this* close to popping both my eyes out with the spoon I just used for yogurt so I don't ever have to experience that. Seriously, what could possibly be worse than a worm eating your eyeball? Having square eyeballs? F*** that sounds painful.

Worm eats Cedar Rapids man's retina [thegazette]

Thanks to FDSY, who's from Cedar Rapids and is convinced at least half the populace has worms in their brains. I've never been there but I believe it.

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