'Child Playing' Optical Illusion To Slow Drivers

September 9, 2010


Seen here luring an unsuspecting pederast out of his candy-laden vehicle, Canada is experimenting with the optical illusion of a child playing as an alternative to speed bumps and moose to help discourage speeding. I can see it now: "Damn -- look at how big that girl's shoes--" *CRASH!*

In what sounds like a terrifying experience, the girl's elongated form appears to rise from the ground as cars approach, reaching 3D realism at around 100 feet, and then returning to 2D distortion once cars pass that ideal viewing distance. Its designers created the image to give drivers who travel at the street's recommended 18 miles per hour (30 km per hour) enough time to stop before hitting Pavement Patty-acknowledging the spectacle before they continue to safely roll over her.

Despite fears that drivers may stop suddenly or swerve into actual 3D children, David Duane of the BCAA Traffic Safety Foundation told CTV news that the bump was meant to bring attention to driver-caused pedestrian injuries, and that the fake girl should not cause accidents:

"It's a static image. If a driver can't respond to this appropriately, that person shouldn't be driving...."

Listen: I hate to break it to you, Captain Traffic, BUT AT LEAST HALF THE PEOPLE DRIVING SHOULDN'T BE. Myself included. That said, you can bet your transportation safety ass I'm gonna swerve onto the sidewalk if I ever see that thing. You know, provided I wasn't up there already. What? It's like having your own little lane!

Speed Bumps of the Future: Creepy Optical Illusion Children [discover]

Thanks to Matt and Gutteral Retch, who're great drivers and only hit mailboxes.

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