BOND Bike Features Ejector Seat, Skis, Tank Tread, Flamethrower. Still Needs Streamers, Oil Slick, Baseball Cards Between Spokes

September 29, 2010


The BOND (Built of Notorious Deterrents) bike was designed and crafted by Yannick Read to help bring awareness to green transportation and sell bicycle insurance at the same time. It has several features that would make even 007 consider going green except not really because when it comes to seducing the ladies an Aston Martin with a magnum of chilled champagne in the console > a bike with a warm sports bottle half-filled with Gatorade and backwash. I'm just sayin'!

With the next James Bond film canned owing to a lack of cash, a new bicycle equipped with flame-thrower and ejector seat could be ideal way for a cash-strapped 007 to get to work.

The flame-thrower fitted in the handlebars prevents overtaking motorists getting too close. The ejector seat disposes of thieves who beat the padlock and chain. And the bike - which would make Bond's gadget inventor, Q, proud -also boasts a caterpillar track for smooth riding over pot-holed roads.

Wait -- the new James Bond was canned? I didn't hear about that. I guess even spies are getting hit by the economy. Certainly sheds some light on the bum holding a "WILL SELL GOVERNMENT SECRETS FOR FOOD" sign I saw earler. I winged a handful of change at him. You know what he told me? "They're telling me to pee on the sidewalk". WHO -- THE GOVERNMENT? THE GOVERNMENT'S TELLING YOU THIS?! Aaaaand that's when I felt the splatter on my legs.

A video of the (questionable) ejector seat and flamethrower in action after the jump.

BOND bicycle boasts ejector seat and flame thrower [eta]

Thanks to Yannic, the substitute Q himself. And to 43 y/o undead warlock, who doesn't need a bike because he's a f***ing undead warlock and flies around on a broomstick or some shit.

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