Why Geeks Are Better At Sex, A List

July 8, 2010


This is a list somebody wrote allegedly explaining why geeks make superior lovers (which is 100% true). Some of the reasons I agree with, but most of it sounds like it was written by someone who's never seen a vagina before (is it true they look like baby crocodiles?!).

1. we're more curious than the rest of the population.

2. We're hackers by trade, so we are open to trying new things.

3. We produce things for ordinary users, so we're more attuned to producing an orgasm in our partner then the rest of the population.

4. We use technology to help get you in the mood even before you arrive.

5. We're more likely to mute our telephone, and turn down the volume on the computer so incoming IM's don't make a sound. We're also used to not answering the telephone, instead preferring asynchronous means of communications.

6. We watch a lot of porn, so we know a lot of positions. This means we're open to trying them all.

7. Geeks multitask. So we pleasure multiple erogenous zones in our partners... kissing, f***ing, tweaking and rubbing all at the same time.

8. We are more available. We can fix your vibrator when we're not. Other people are not gonna steal us. We're smart, and increasingly, we're rich.

9. We're sensitive to your needs. We learn this by spending way too much time with google analytics, nagios, server load times and iO rates.

10. Finally, we're geeks. Girls prefer jocks. So we will go out of our way to be special to you.

I'm pretty sure I could easily come up with a more convincing list. And I'm not just saying that because I'm probably definitely the most accomplished lover in the room, but I've never let my partner down. Sat on it a few times, sure, but never let it down. Have I, Rosie? Rosie?! Oh come on -- TAKE THE OVEN MITT OFF AND TALK TO ME!

Why geeks rock at sex [askmygirlfriend]

Thanks to Brandon, who's won the World's Greatest Lover contest three years running and has the novelty coffee mugs to prove it (you bought them at the beach, didn't you?).

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