Proving it's not just the size of your fishstick (or hush-puppies) that attracts the opposite sex, scientists have discovered that male Mexican Mollies grow luscious mustaches (seen here practically making me beg for a ride) to attract the fish womens.
Scientists were unsure why male Mexican mollies wear an extravagant moustache-like structure on their top lip.
Now a study has revealed that female fish find the moustache sexually attractive, and it is likely to be a sexually selected trait.
As well as being visually-attractive, the moustache may be used to rub the female fish's genitals, exciting them.
Now I know what you're thinking, "reaaaally, GW? You really think fish mustaches attract the ladies?" And I'd like to answer that question with another question: Would I have I have just glued a fistful of pubes to my lip and hired a boat captain to take me on a mermaid-sighting tour if I didn't?
Thanks again to RyanThePerson, who'd I like to think was Googling, "what's a fair price to charge for mustache rides?" when he found the article.