King Tut's Wiener Stolen For Being Too Small?

July 1, 2010


Allegedly King Tut's wiener was stolen after embalming to save him the afterlife embarrassment of having a small peener. Wait, WHAT?! That's not it on his chin?

According to Time magazine, a report in The New Scientist presents the possibility of an anatomical conspiracy.

While Egypt's chief archaeologist Zahi Hawass says Tut was well developed, even he cannot ignore the fact that the king's member is no longer attached to the mummy.

The mummy was intact at its first unwrapping in 1922. The penis was said to be missing in 1968 but a CT scan later showed that it was hidden by sand surrounding the mummy, reports The New York Daily News.

Some scientists believe the penis may have been swiped at some point after the body was embalmed, raising the possibility that it could have been a conspiracy to spare Tut, in the afterlife, the "locker room" variety of embarrassment.

WOW. Now I'm not saying there's no shame in dying with a small johnson, but I am begging one of you to tear my pecker off before the funeral. Oh -- and bring tweezers the jaws of life and a crowbar.

Did small size prompt the theft of King Tut's penis? [sifinews]

Thanks to RyanThePerson, who I'd like to pretend was Googling, "how to steal a penis" when he found the article.

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