Say Goodbye To Crying!: The Onion Bully

May 15, 2010


The Onion Bully is a metal shoehorn you put in your mouth while cutting onions that's supposed to prevent you from crying. Plus you look cool. Really cool.

The power of the Onion Bullyâ„¢ is tear science. When you put the Onion Bullyâ„¢ in your mouth, it actually tells your body to turn off your tear ducts so you can't cry!

Tear science? I practically invented it. Wanna help me with an experiment? Awesome. Now you stand still while I kick you in the balls. *WOOPF* Are you crying? Success. I smell a Nobel prize!

Hit the jump for a 2:00 commercial. It's pretty convincing (I bought two).

Product Page

Thanks to Matthew, who doesn't even cry when maced.

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