Another Day, Another Creepy-Ass Monster

May 21, 2010


A deceased monster was found floating in an Ontario lake earlier this week. The only thing is, it's not a monster. It's just some dead-ass animal that's had the hair gnawed off it's face by ornery beavers or some shit.

The unsightly critter was spotted in Big Trout Lake by two nurses walking their dog earlier this month. The animal is about 30 centimetres long and has a rat-like tail with "almost a human face," says the community's website.

"Almost a human face"?! You have got to have the ugliest friends on the gotdamn planet.

Some residents of Big Trout Lake, an Oji-Cree community of 1,200 south of Hudson Bay, believe the animal is a rare local creature known as an omajinaakoos, which roughly translates to "ugly one".

Some local elders in the community, which is also known as Kitchenuhmaykoosib Inninuwug, believe the animal is a messenger of bad news.

"No one knows what it is but our ancestors used to call it the Ugly One. Rarely seen but when seen, it's a bad omen. Something bad will happen according to our ancestors," the community's website says.

Listen: I've dated some real monsters in my life, and this isn't one. This is just an otter. A bear otter. Yes, a bear otter. Which are 100% real. DON'T YOU GOOGLE MY AUTHORITY!

Hit the jump for another shot of the beast.


Big Trout Lake 'monster' sparks Internet debate [theglobeandmail]

Thanks to Thay, AndrewK, Jensucks and Pepe La PEWPEW, who would have just sold the thing to a butcher like normal damn people.

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