Note: Video is aaaaafter the jump.
You ever wonder what really happens after you rescue the princess at the end of a video game? The exact same thing that would happen in real life, that's what. Because SPOILER: princesses are only after your coins. Just like the real womens. They may say they love you, but really they just want you to buy them fancy things until they run off with a Brazilian masseuse or tell you they've been gay the whole time. Ha, can I see through you ladies or what? I'm tempted to write a book just so guys stop falling for your witchcraft.
Women are the ones with breasts but no penis. They smell good but get nervous if they catch you whiffing their hair on the bus. [Add more stuff here as you learn it]
Hit the jump to stick it to the man for six minutes.
Thanks to Darken, Clint, Brian and Ste, who are smart enough to sell the princess to gypsies first chance they get.