I love books. Mostly children's and comic books, although I have perused one of the coffee table variety because all the magazines at the doctor's office sucked. But the problem with books is this: where do you put them? Do you just stack them on the floor and use them as a table to hold up empty beer cans? Or do you put them in the kitchen cabinets because you don't eat anything but frozen pizza and chocolate pudding? Neither -- you squeeze them together with a vice and hang them on the wall. Of course! I feel just like Ugg after he first discovered the wheel and rolled it down a hill to f*** up a dinosaur. Only
I can't club my lady-friend in the head and make her watch me have relations with it after smarter.