Anybody else just flash back to Half Life? Me neither, it was a Dead concert. Anyway, this is a giant f***ing Japanese Spider Crab. It was recently caught off the coast of -- you'll never guess -- Japan, and will be on display in England. I bet my ex-wife has bigger ones.
With its enormous legs and lethal claws, this monster of the deep is already the biggest crab ever seen in Britain.
But astonishingly, the arthropod - which measures a staggering 10ft from claw to claw - is still growing, and could live until it is 100.
Nicknamed 'Crabzilla' after the fictional giant monster, the Japanese Spider Crab has a body the size of a basketball and its legs can straddle a car. They will eventually measure a massive 15ft [across].
Crabzilla is currently in quarantine, but will be on display at the National Sea Life Centre in Birmingham, England soon. Ultimately, he will be moved to the Sea Life Center in Blankenberge, Belgium, where he will be stolen and eaten by the Geekologie Writer. I am gonna crack those legs open OVER MY KNEE.
Thanks to jack, who had one of these crawl out the bottom of his boxers and try to eat his socks.