For all the twilight [sic] crazed lonely women in the world, Jacob Black is finally here to be with you and only you. Sleep with him, cuddle with him, use him as a neck rest, the Jacob Manllow is there to be your man and pillow all in one. Don't worry, in the Manllow world, all men are of age.
No. No no no no no. "Twilight dummy" jokes aside, you've got to admit these have nothing on my Legolas manllow. Isn't that right, my sexy little archer? You shot me right through the heart.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the travesty.