Tactical Pen Perfect For Stabbing Coworkers. Ahem -- I'm Looking At You, Superficial Writer

January 5, 2010


Let's face it, at one time or another we've all wanted to get stabby on a coworker. Sometimes the feeling is fleeting, but usually it's something we think about doing constantly and doodle pictures of. Enter the $20 Campco TacPen (the Tac stands for tactical, not taco, which -- I know -- is an even better idea).

The TacPen sports a rugged, weighty body made of high-​​grade aircraft alluminum and comes with two different crown attachments designed not only to throw some hurt on an attacker, but also to lock him (or her) behind bars when the doing's done.

The most unique feature of the pen is that it employs the UZI DNA Catcher on the crown of the pen. The sharpened crown on the end can be used to jab or poke an attacker, which will not only cause extreme pain, but it will also collect the aggressors' DNA which can be used for future identification.

Ahhh, of course -- DNA identification. Call me old fashioned, but whatever happened to biting an attacker to collect DNA? Or tearing a limb off. Just sayin', one armed men are easy to identify. Back me up, Dr. Richard Kimble.

Gimme Some Skin! [defensetech]

Thanks to Nils, who once stabbed a coworker for eating the rest of his Subway sub from the community fridge. That shit was warranted.

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