I think we all knew this day would come: Envelopes with bacon-flavored adhesive. Geez, these are almost as clever as my invention: nipple flavored envelopes. Which, I think you and I both know is the closest your tongue will ever come.
J&D's, the makers of Bacon Salt and Baconnaise, isn't kidding when they say everything should taste like bacon: They just announced Mmmvelopes, bacon-flavored envelopes. $6.99 for 25 bacon-flavored #10 envelopes, $14.99 for 3 packs of 25...."No longer will envelopes taste like the underside of your car. You can enjoy the taste of delicious bacon instead."
Now I know what you're thinking, "but how do I keep myself from eating them?" THEY'RE PAPER YOU IDIOTS. Yeah I have no idea.
Thanks to Mih0, who invented chocolate-flavored envelopes a long time ago but that ruthless cocoa mogul Wonka stole his idea.