Ninja Fail: Overconfident (And Drunk) Ninja Attempts Fence Jump, Ends Up Impaled

November 18, 2009


A drunk and overzealous ninja, who may be the guy in this picture but was probably the kid in this video, attempted jumping over a fence in Seattle, Washington, only to impale himself on a pole. I knew about buttpirates, but who knew there were buttninjas too?! You're no drunken master!

Seattle police say a man who thought he was ninja was impaled on a metal fence when he tried to leap over it. An officer who was looking for an assault victim nearby Monday night heard the man screaming for help. Police supported him to prevent further injuries until medics arrived and took him to a hospital, where he was in serious condition in intensive care on Tuesday.

Police spokeswoman Renee Witt wrote in a department Web site posting that officers thought the man might have been involved in the reported assault, but he insisted he was just a ninja trying to clear a 4- to 5-foot-tall fence.

Witt says the man was "overconfident in his abilities," and that alcohol likely played a role.

Listen, as a public service to you Geekologie Readers that think you might be ninjas, I've got news for you: you're not. You don't wear Velcro shoes so you can be ready to strike at a moment's notice, you wear Velcro shoes because you never learned to tie regular ones. And the katana set you bought at the kiosk at the mall? You've cut yourself playing Ninja Turtles, haven't you? The prosecution rests.

Police: Would-be Seattle
ninja impaled on fence

Thanks to Michelle loves ninjas drunk or otherwise, Rachel, Justin, Fluffy Frontstein, wes, Sally and Lizze, who actually are trained killers and could have easily cleared that fence.

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