Inventor Denied Patent For Human 'Killer Chip'

May 17, 2009

death chip.jpg

A Saudi inventor was recently denied a German patent for what is being described as a "killer chip". What is a killer chip? Cooler Ranch Doritos, hands down.

The basic model would consist of a tiny GPS transceiver placed in a capsule and inserted under a person's skin, so that authorities could track him easily. Model B would have an extra function -- a dose of cyanide to remotely kill the wearer without muss or fuss if authorities deemed he'd become a public threat.

The inventor said the chip could be used to track terrorists, criminals, fugitives, illegal immigrants, political dissidents, domestic servants and foreigners overstaying their visas.

"The invention will probably be found to violate paragraph two of the German Patent Law -- which does not allow inventions that transgress public order or good morals

If the aliens have taught us anything, it's that the key to successful human tracking is NOT LETTING THE HUMANS KNOW. You embed a cyanide chip under my skin and guess what -- I'm cutting it out. With my teeth. Oh I'm sorry, was that too hardcore for you? Yeah, well one time I ate two of my own toes because I hadn't eaten dessert.

Saudi 'Killer Chip' Implant Would Track, Eliminate Undesirables [foxnews]

Thanks to Dustin and philip, who track people the old fashioned way: by looking for footprints and shit. Literally, looking for shit.

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