Now for the fine print: "Bacon" shall hereafter refer to the cured and smoked fatty cuts of pork, either back, side or belly. In other words "American bacon". No "Canadian bacon", which is really just lunchmeat. No pork chops. No turkey bacon. No "tofacon" or any such horror. Just bacon.
No condiments allowed. No syrups, or hot sauces, or pureed vegetables in the form of ketchup. No sauces at all. Just nature's finest bacon, all by its dignified self.
I am making allowances for the following beverages: beer, wine, martinis and water. No juices, no V8, nothing that could be construed as "healthy". This is somewhat arbitrary, I grant you, but one bit of madness at a time, is my reasoning.
So far things are going without a hitch on day four, but he'll be dead by mid-month. RIP in advance, Mike.
Bacon Stupidity [rifftrax]
Thanks to Kevin, who once vowed to only eat pastrami for a month. He made it to brunch.