Oh My God A New Sex Toy Thingy For Guys

January 12, 2009


The Real Touch may look like a torture device (and may, in fact, BE a torture device), but is allegedly the latest advancement in solitary male pleasure. Just look at that thing -- reminds me of the time my penis got run over by a Sherman tank. I'm sure it's safe though. After all, it was designed and "thoroughly tested" by a NASA engineer.

It's a computer-controlled "stimulation" device that uses specially encoded content to bring a sort of virtual-reality experience to, um, a certain member. Using a host of technologies, the futuristic-looking computer peripheral simulates motion, adjusts temperature and provides lubrication. The encoding is deciphered by a custom Windows Media Player plugin.

Basically you plug the unit's USB cable into your computer, plug your unit into the unit, and presto!: it mimics the feelings you'd experience if you were actually banging the chick in the porno and not sitting at a computer desk sobbing into a stained gym sock.

The Real Touch is available now for $150. And, if you get the chance AND ARE NOT AT WORK NSFW NSFW NSFW you HAVE TO go to the official website and watch the video of the chick explaining the device. It was....something.

Official Website NSFW NSFW NSFW
The sickest gadget DVICE saw in Vegas [dvice]

Thanks to Rachel, whose lucky man doesn't need a Real Touch.

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