IT BUUUUUURNS!: Australian Man Dies After Wife Sets His Penis On Fire, Things Go Wrong

January 6, 2009


That ain't right. You can't just go around setting a man's penis on fire while he's sleeping. I mean, what if he bee-lines it for the curtains?

Rajini Narayan, 44, is alleged to have doused her husband, Satish, with a flammable liquid while he was sleeping. When she set him alight, Mr Narayan jumped out of bed and knocked over the substance, causing the fire to spread.

Prosecutor Lucy Boord said Mrs Narayan had confessed to her neighbours, telling them she was a "jealous wife" and believed her husband was having an affair.

"I just wanted to burn his penis so it belongs to me and no one else, I didn't mean this to happen," Ms Boord quoted Mrs Narayan as saying.

Hooooooooooly shit! Rajini died from the injuries sustained during the penis fire last week. Now I'm not sure how the criminal law works in Australia, but in my neck of the woods this woman would get life in prison -- provided she survive the vagina dynamiting. Think Wile E. Coyote vs. Road Runner, but the Road Runner is a beaver -- and he's packed with explosives.

Hit the jump for the "IT BUUUUUURNS!" lighter trick idiot. If you've never seen it, watch the whole thing.

'Penis fire' suspect is charged [bbc]

Thanks to Josh and Jake, neither of which has ever had their penis slammed in a car door by a crazed girlfriend. Be thankful guys, be thankful.

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