Guy Selling Himself As Slave On eBay

January 29, 2009


I'm pretty sure by definition you can't sell yourself as a slave for a month, because that kind of negates the whole slavery thing. This guy is basically a really douche-y manservant. I mean, he's no Alfred.

What we have for auction today is a slave, a very fit male slave. He is twenty-four years of age, measure five foot ten inches, and weighs eleven stone. This slave is college educated, hard working, and ready to tackle any task you may have for him.

The terms of the auction are as follows.

The winning bidder will receive the slave seen in the picture for a period no less than 28 days, but for no more than a period of 31 days.

The winning bidder must be able to provide shelter for the slave in the form of a spare bedroom, a couch, a tent, a hammock, or a tree-house.

The slave is not a sexual slave, and will not under any circumstances partake in any form of sexual activities with his master. This auction is not sexual in anyway shape or form. DO YOU HEAR ME EBAY, THIS IS NOT SEXUAL! OK THANKS!

The slave will not follow any instruction that will most likely result in his death or serious disfigurement.

I dunno, I thought about buying him to walk up and down the highway in the snow with a sandwich board advertising Geekologie, but then I realized I'd probably be too tempted to run him over myself. And what does 'serious disfigurement' mean? Does cutting off a finger count? Because I only consider that minor disfigurement. Quick, to Wendy's!

Hit the jump for two more pictures of the questionable slave.



eBay Auction

Thanks to JAKE!, who sold his little brother to gypsies to buy a PS3.

blog comments powered by Disqus
Previous Post
Next Post