Science!: The Periodic Table Of Awesoments

December 18, 2008


Unfortunately, it probably doesn't look that awesome since you can't read any of it. So click HERE to see the whole thing and all the awesoments that make the world cool.

In 300 B.C., years before the birth of black Jesus, Aristole postulated that all good things were made of "win." That was a pretty good guess, but he was drunk and probably also having an orgy. Modern day awesominers know there are actually 118 fundamental "awesoments" that compose all good things. The Periodic table of Awesoments can be a very useful tool. It's designed to show the relationships between awesoments, and often one can even predict how awesoments interact simply by their positions on the table.

Awesome. Although I question the awesoments in the traditional 'noble gas' section (ninja, sniper, vampire, wizard, etc.). I would argue that those particular awesoments are, in fact, highly reactive and not as tame as their position in the table suggests. Am I right? Example: "Hey ninja -- I banged your vampire mom last night. Yeah, she made me slap her ass with garlic nunchucks the whole time. Then your assassin dad walked in on us so i put my wizard robe and hat on and did him too. Then I had a sniper buddy take him out. Haha, your Jedi mind-tricks don't work on me. Now let's throw some clay on the potter's wheel and get all ghost-y." Seriously folks, you see how reactive that shit was?

The Periodic Table of Awesoments [dapperstache]

Thanks to Bryan, who I was surprised to see absent from the table.

Previous Post
Next Post