Pentagon PEWing For Guided Bullet Tech

December 9, 2008


The Pentagon is tossing $22 million at developing guided bullet technology that would enable a bullet to change course midflight because it wasn't shot right first in the first place, the wind changed, or the head you were aiming at moved. *closing blinds* Greeeaaaaat.

Darpa won't say, publicly, how far, how long and how accurate they want the new bullets to be -- all that information is classified. But they will say that Exacto should contain a next-gen scope, a guidance system that provides information to direct the projectile, an "actively controlled .50-caliber projectile that uses this information for real-time directional flight control," and a rifle. "Technologies of interest may include: fin-stabilized projectiles, spin-stabilized projectiles, internal and/or external aero-actuation control methods, projectile guidance technologies, tamper proofing, small stable power supplies, and advanced sighting, optical resolution and clarity technologies."

Hey Darpa, I hate to ruin the party, but guided bullets already exist. They're called missiles. Yeah, they're laser guided and they shoot out of my penis. PEW on this, moneywasters! Oh, just a minute. *PSSH* Oh -- *PSSSSHHH* Aaaahh -- *PSSSSSHOOOOOOOOW!!*

Pentagon Shoots $22 Million Into Guided-Bullet Tech [wired]

Thanks to Erick, who came up with that PEW *WHOOSH* PEW thing, and never misses the urinal.

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