Mystical Fire Powder Turns Your Fire Different Colors, Is Probably Mad Carcinogenic

December 2, 2008


$2.29 will get you a 25 gram sachet of Mystical Fire Powder. What is Mystical Fire Powder? It's powder. That you toss in the fire. To make it all mystical and shit. Sorcery yo, sorcery. The stuff makes your fire burn with all sorts of crazy colors and will stunt your growth if you eat too much of it. But it's so good! If you're a cheapskate and don't want to drop a whole nine quarters and four Canadian pennies on the powder, I'll tell you what else makes fires turn cool colors: burning witches! And remember: a woman is every bit the witch you accuse her of being. Accuse often. Yelling helps. Also, brandishing a pitchfork and getting the townspeople riled up.

One more of a sweet blue flame after the ja-ja-ja-jump.


mystical fire powder: for people who hate red flame [technabob]

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