BAPA (Balanced Angular and Proportional Analysis) Web is a web-based facial analyzer that apparently determines if a person is attractive or not (for a fee). You know, based on balanced angular and proportional analysis. So if you have big lips and tiny eyes, you're screwed. If you have chiseled features and a wicked scar from a bar fight like I do, you're in. As long as the programmers were smart enough to take badass scars into consideration. Oh shit, and eyepatches. Also, I burnt my good eyebrow off cooking ramen the other night. I'm gonna go ahead and use a picture from a few years back.
UPDATE: The computer's smoking -- it's a sign!
UPDATE: The computer caught fire -- things are looking good!
UDPATE: The computer exploded -- I'm ugly :(
Thanks to Antonia, who doesn't need a program to tell her she's smoking hot.