Miners Stumble Upon Fortress Of Solitude, Superman Pissed, Can't Find Solitude

October 31, 2008


So apparently what scientists are dubbing the 'Cave of Crystals' was discovered 1,000ft beneath the Chiihuahua Desert in Mexico.

Up to 170 giant, luminous obelisks - the biggest is 37.4ft long and the equivalent height of six men - jut across the grotto like tangled pillars of light; and the damp rock of their walls is covered with yet more flawless clusters of blade-sharp crystal.

When, about 600,000 years ago, the magma began to cool, the minerals started to precipitate out of the water, and over the centuries the tiny crystals they formed grew and grew until 1985, when miners unwittingly drained the cave as they lowered the water table with mine pumps.

Unfortunately, the temperature stays around 112F with a humidity near 100%. So yeah, Superman likes it hot and muggy. Superman living in Mexico -- who would have thought! I figured he had set up shop in Norway or Iceland. He must stick around to put the moves on the drunk co-eds that come down to Cancun for spring break. A couple margaritas with the little umbrellas in them, and then BAM, Superman dem hoes! Holy shit -- Superman's a sexual predator.

Hit the jump for two more pictures (including a picture of the real Fortress of Solitude) and an informative video. Learning is fun!



Pictured: The Cave of Crystals discovered 1,000ft below a Mexican desert [dailymail]

Thanks to I Like Pie and Peter, who once looted Superman's Fortress of Solitude and stole a couple capes. And also, some tights.

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