Researchers have recently made a material so dark it absorbs 99.9% of light, the closest yet to a "pure" black.
The substance has a total reflective index of 0.045 percent -- which is more than three times darker than the nickel-phosphorous alloy that now holds the record as the world's darkest material.
Basic black paint, by comparison, has a reflective index of 5 percent to 10 percent.
Ninjas and emos rejoice!
Thanks to bob, who wrote the joke so I didn't have to. Check's in the mail!