The $90 Home Swimmer is a tether that prevents you from going anywhere while you swim imaginary laps in your home pool. Alternatively, it makes a great dolphin leash. Mush you stupid Flipper, mush! Oh hell no you didn't just squeak at me.
Home Swimmer: Unleash your inner Michael Phelps [slipperybrick]
Thanks to Silver Sided, who once swam to the depths of the Pacific to have sex with a mermaid, but she had given him a fake address!