Two Vigilante Ninjas From New Jersey Try To Stop Drug Dealers, End Up Going To Jail

August 25, 2008


That isn't one of them in the picture. That's a hot female ninja, completely unrelated to the story, but a highly appropriate graphic nonetheless. Anyway, 22-year old Tadeusz Tertkiewicz and 19-year old Jesse Trojaniak were arrested in Clifton, New Jersey, for being the world's worst ninjas.

Calling themselves "Shinobi warriors," the men wore black SWAT-type vests and carried knives, throwing stars, swords, nunchucks and a bow and arrows.

After being arrested early Wednesday in a car on Route 46, the men said they were delivering warning letters to drug dealers and drug users urging them to stop their "impure" activities.

The letters said those who persisted would be stopped with "justified yet, merciful force."

Wow. From an interview with one of the ninja failures:

First we tried sneaking around the bushes, but we couldn't because the bushes were too thick. So we went for the more subtle, just, um, like hit and run approach, where we'd just run in there, slap the letter, and just run out of there as quickly as possible.

Listen, I've got news for any of you would-be Shinobi warriors out there: If your stealthy mission is thwarted by a bush, guess what? You aren't a freaking ninja. Go home and nunchuck yourself in the vagina till you pass out.

Hit the jump for a picture of one of them, along with a link to the news video.



Ninja Vigilantes Busted In N.J.

Thanks to Michael and SaltyDeezNuts, both of whom are grade A ninjas that could kill you in your sleep. Well, at least Michael could. You might stand a chance with Salty if you catch a whiff of his sodium-y nads while he's sneaking in the window and club him with a nightstand.

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