Shouting Vase Turns Yelling Into A Whisper

July 15, 2008


The shouting vase is a $79 jug that you yell into after you stub your toe on the coffee table or your wife cooks your eggs the wrong way. It drastically reduces the volume of your screaming, as is evident from the scientific picture in the bottom right.

Turn your loudest, most urgent frustrations into mere whispers with the Shouting Vase. The plastic jug is designed to fit over the contours of your mouth and absorb your screams and shouts, "storing" them in the vase and emitting a softer version of your angry cries through the tiny hole at the base. Ideal for when you feel like shouting, but know that speaking softly is more likely to do the trick. Or the perfect gift for the loud one in your life.

The loud one in my life, huh? Why don't you just come out and say "your wife"? Because that's obviously what you meant. I'd get one, but $79 is kind of expensive for a plastic freaking scream jug. Let me know when they're under $20, until then I'm sticking to pillow biting.

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