Drunk Driver Blows 0.491, Is Still Alive

July 22, 2008


No, it wasn't me. I don't drink and drive. I drink and walk. And already have enough trouble with that. Stanley Kobierowski though, he's another story.

Stanley Kobierowski, 34, of North Providence, was arrested after he drove into a highway message board on Interstate 95 in Providence, Maj. Steven O'Donnell said.

Smooth move, dipshit.

The legal limit in Rhode Island is .08. A blood alcohol of .3 is classified as "stupor," .4 is "comatose" and .5 is considered fatal, according to the health department. "Our only assumption could be that the person has a serious alcohol problem," O'Donnell said.

Uh, yeah, amazing assumption there, Major O'Donnell. Really, you sure he's an alcoholic and not just a robot that runs on gin?

Seriously though folks, no drinking and driving. I'll call you a taxi or come and pick you up myself if I have to. Because if I catch another one of you floundering around in my pool after you've driven through the fence and off the diving board, I'll kill you myself.

: That's not a picture of his accident. That's just something I found on the interwebs to use as the picture.

Driver Charged With .491 Blood Alcohol Level [wbztv]

Thanks Mark, and like I said before, I wasn't in Rhode Island this morning, I swear.

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