How To Traumatize Your Children

May 5, 2008


My parents didn't need a book to effectively traumatize us for life. They did a fine job on their own. Well for today's slacking parents there's How To Traumatize Your Children, a book in the Self-Hurt series (along with How To Cut Yourself).

You'll learn how to:

  • Determine your traumatizing "type"
  • Cultivate your children's resentment
  • Give your children enough material to write a memoir someday
  • Defend your choices against others who've opted to traumatize differently

The 192 page full color book only runs $10 and is a great companion piece to The Superficial Writer's My Drunk As Shit Daddy, which explains to kids why their daddy peed in the fishtank, and why his urine killed the turtle. But if reading isn't your thing you can always just have sex with the door open. That'll screw a kid up for life. Even beyond if you're caught doing some freaky cosplay shit or a mommy/daddy role reversal.

How To Traumatize Your Children Book [ohgizmo]

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