Imagine This Thing Sucking Your Brains Out

April 29, 2008

Festo is an industrial automation company that likes making weird shit that creeps me out. This is proof of that. It's a video of their AirJelly, which is a robotic jellyfish that runs on a lithium-ion battery, an electric motor, and a spot of helium. It reminds me of the "floater" (not of the unsinkable turd variety) aliens that Carl Sagan imagines in Cosmos when describing possible life on a Jupiter-like planet. So, yeah. Now imagine this thing attaching itself to your head and sucking your brains out through a hole it cuts with a special drill bit. It won't take your whole brain though, just enough to get a fix. That way it can come and harvest more brain juice whenever it wants. And if you think hiding underwater is the secret to saving your nog, you're wrong. They've already made the robotic bastards for the seas as well. I guess what I'm getting at here is that Festo is an organization run by robot sympathizers from the future that must be stopped. Unless you're cool being some robot's bitch. And trust me, you shouldn't be. I've had sex with a robot before, and I've got three words to say about the experience: cold, metal, could have used more oil.

A video of the underwater version (and no, it's not just a damn jellyfish) after the jump.

Festo AirJelly flies through the air with the greatest of ease [engadget]

Thanks to Pork Musket, who now has a hot dog shooting attachment, for the tip

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