Robotic Breast Massager Is Unsurprisingly Questionable As Hell

February 26, 2008

Man I have no idea where to even begin with this one, but I'll try. Mr. Wang Wei, owner of Beijing BUBBY (I assume that's Chinese for booby) Robot Technologies, has created a robotic breast massager. Mr. Wei did this when he realized he'll probably never get to touch one himself. I've posted his very convincing business proposal after the jump, which is a must read and explains who can benefit from such a device. As a potential investor I had the unfortunate opportunity to give the device a go, and I've got to say: it felt the exact same as the other time I was groped by a robot with flower-shaped hands. And that one was a window washer.

Mr. Wei's very convincing business proposal after the jump.

Per the business plan:

As a result of market research, we specified our targeting consumer groups which are listed below:

1.Girls who are reaching or having reached puberty, hope to improve the growth of breast.

2.Women who received surgery in the breast, desire to have a faster and better recovery.

3.Mothers, who are nursing babies, want to release the pain and to accelerate the secretion of breast milk.

4.Female who is having the period, want to release the swelling pain of breasts.

5.Women who want to lower the incidence of mastopathies.

6.Women, who are under pressure, want to relax themselves.

7.Women who want to improve the quality of their sex activities.

8.Women who want to have pretty breasts.

The Breast Massage Robot stimulates massager's hand movements to perform comfortable massage. It is capable of automatically adjusting itself to fit various breast shapes. It also features good portability and a variety of massage programs.

We will sincerely corporate with investors to make the BMR the hottest high-tech product worldwide.

Breast Massage Robot is the Future of Breast Massages [gizmodo]

Thanks to James, who you ladies should call if you're looking for a real breast massage, for the tip

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