Man Chronicles Gaming Systems He's Owned

January 10, 2008


Todd Levin is a man, a man who has written an article about every gaming console he's ever owned. It's a very intimate account.

The joystick’s distinct shape provided me with hours of sophisticated entertainment, especially as I blindly turned the corner of sexual awareness. When Beth Rubenstein came over to “play Atari” in our renovated basement, our gaming would always quickly deteriorate into marathon sessions of hard, closed-mouth kissing—because tongue kissing was disgusting—followed by hilarious hijinks such as me chasing Beth around the weight bench with the joystick tucked between my legs, like Jane Gumb trapped in the world of Tron.

I’m not sure who would have been more disappointed to discover that last fact: my parents, who tried their best not to raise a pervert; or my brother and sister, who had no idea they were playing Activision’s Pitfall with my surrogate boner.

Wow, genius. I never thought of using a 2600 controller for a surrogate boner. I always used a Wiffle Ball bat, because I thought that's what it'd look like when I grew up. Wow, no where close. Should have used one of those cinnamon flavored toothpicks.

No Console For Old Men [boingboing]

Article [themorningnews]

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