Nov 30 2007 Plastic Car Is Cool, Does 60 MPH In Reverse

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The Acrea Zest is a little plastic car available in Europe. It has no top at all, and the floors are drilled out to allow rain to pass through. It weighs 1/3 that of a typical vehicle, has a gas engine that gets 66 miles per gallon, and has a top speed of 60 miles per hour. It is built symmetrically, so it can also do 60 MPH in reverse. Sweet! They go for around $16,400, and I think I want one. Although maybe not. The last time I did 60 MPH in a plastic vehicle my father was dragging me behind his truck on my Big-Wheels. He said it was to teach me a life lesson. I'm not positive what that lesson was, but I think it had something to do with the dangers of dragging your son behind a truck at 60 MPH after you've been drinking all morning. Thanks dad.

Two videos of the car after the jump, one in French.

Continue Reading " Plastic Car Is Cool, Does 60 MPH In Reverse "

Nov 30 2007 Orgasmo Alarm Clock: What It Sounds Like

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The Orgasmo Clock wakes you up in the morning to the invigorating moan of a woman having an orgasm. Which is pretty freaking awesome if you ask me. It costs $25. I don't need one though, because I almost always wake up to a woman having an orgasm. Unfortunately it's my girlfriend having sex with my roommate. :(

Orgasmo Clock: Wake Up to a Female Orgasm Everyday [gizmodo]

Nov 30 2007 'Bar Of Soap' Predicts Your Use For It

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The 'Bar Of Soap' comes to us from MIT Media Lab's Brandon Taylor and Michael Bove. The idea behind the device is that it determines its functionality based on the way you hold it. If you hold it like a TV remote then its little accelerometers tell the device to display the appropriate controls like volume and channel. If you hold it like a phone it will act like a phone. Granted the device made doesn't actually have TV remote and phone functionality, just the capability of determining if you're holding it like one. And right now only 60-70% of the time. Making it far less effective than a Wii-mote.

"Bar of Soap" Prototype Detects Intent from Your Touch (You Scoundrel) [boingboing]

Nov 30 2007 On/Off Coffee Mug Changes Colors, Whee!

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When the coffee cup is cold it's black and reads "OFF", when a hot liquid is poured inside, it turns white and reads "ON". Pretty clever, huh? I'm not impressed either. But my girlfriend went bonkers over this, claiming it's the best invention of her lifetime (she's dumb as shit). If you want one they cost $25 from Charles and Marie. If you don't want one then I have a lot more respect for you. I still have to get one for my girlfriend though, or she'll throw a goddamn hissy-fit. I'm just hoping the heat sensitive pigment responsible for the color change rubs off and kills her.

on/off coffee mug [technabob]

Nov 30 2007 Police Forces To Get Flying Video Drones

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Both the Miami-Dade, Florida and Houston, Texas police departments will soon be adding a new officer to the force -- the Micro Air Vehicle (MAV), made by Honeywell. The little RC bastards can fly to a 10,500-foot altitude, hover, and even fly through windows -- all the while transmitting live video. "The unmanned aircraft will be used during SWAT team and tactical operations, especially when officers need video of a heavily armed suspect." Interesting, I'm glad they're finally putting these things to good use. Now I hate to be a conspiracy theorist or anything, but I swear I saw one of these hovering outside my bedroom window last night. There I am, sitting on the edge of the bed masturbating, when I catch a glimpse out the corner of my eye. Now call me crazy, but I think this is solid proof that the government has a vested interest in examining the world's smallest penis.

A video of the little bugger in action after the jump.

Continue Reading " Police Forces To Get Flying Video Drones "

Nov 30 2007 Sink + Bath Saves Space, Is Questionable

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The Ladybird bath and vanity set is a sink and a bath. It's designed with closet-bathrooms in mind. When you just need a sink you have the top cover on and go about your business. When you need to take a bath (in a cramped fetal position), you remove your toothbrush, toothpaste, makeup, brush, soap, etc., etc. from the top and set it aside. Presto- a bath. Now I'm all about the space saving design and minimal water consumption associated with this thing, but I have one concern. Everything you wash down the sink is going to be waiting for you when you remove the top for a bath. Toothpaste, spit, nail polish remover, even urine. Now I don't take baths, I only shower, but I can't imagine who would like bathing in such nastiness. My girlfriend would flip the f out. Little does she know I always pee in the shower. But that's what she gets for letting herself go.

A petite Addition to Your Bath [yankodesign]

Nov 30 2007 Donk Tank: A Maybe For The Christmas List

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The JL421 Badonkadonk (yeah) Land Cruiser/Tank is a pretty sweet little vehicle. It fits five people inside or on the roof, can be controlled from inside or out, and reaches 40 mph. It's got a 400 watt "premium sound system", carpet interior, accent lighting, and Star Wars styling. They're built on an order-by-order basis, so you can have it pimped out even more should you desire a sex-swing or laser cannon. They run $20,000 and are available through Amazon. If you buy one I'd like a ride sometime. Unless you modified yours with the sex-swing and all. In which case I'll pass. Not that I wouldn't trust you or anything, but I wouldn't trust you. Because you're a sick pervert. Sex-swing: cool. Sex-swing in tank: sexual deviant.

Note: Hunter S. Thompson not included.

A picture of the thing at night after the jump.

Continue Reading " Donk Tank: A Maybe For The Christmas List "

Nov 30 2007 Man Hangs Lamborghini On His Wall

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Some rich-ass named Richard Moriarty (which seems strangely appropriate) hung his 1974 Lamborghini on a wall in his home. He claims he was tired of having it towed "because the engine kept stalling". Now when my car stalls I typically think of 1. coasting it into a lake, or 2. getting it fixed by a mechanic. Apparently Dick wasn't familiar with these options and had a 70-ton crane lower the bitch through a skylight in his house. Nice try buddy, but I've have car-art for years. Beat a shit-brown 1978 Ford Pinto Station Wagon hanging on your living room wall. I've had that thing up for years. So long I think the homeless guy in it finally died. It's starting to stink.

A Lamborghini Or A Picasso? What Would You Hang On Your Wall? [ohgizmo]

Nov 29 2007 Plate Flipper Can Get You In Trouble

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The Plate Flipper flips your license plate down 90 degrees with the push of a button on the dash, displaying whatever you choose to have underneath. The car model runs $100, and the one for motorcycles goes for $90. Not too shabby for adding some James Bond styling to your car (although you could definitely make one for cheaper). Unfortunately there's no oil-slick or missile launcher included. And you have to be careful what you choose to have underneath. Because one time in middle school my friend's mom was driving us to school and we thought it would be funny to write "Eat Me Coppers" in the frost on the back window. Needless to say his mom didn't find it as funny as we did. Neither did the police officer behind us.

Plate Flipper Gets Your Message Across [ohgizmo]

Nov 29 2007 Tow Hitch For Your LCD/Plasma Television

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From the "Why God, why?" department comes a tow hitch for your truck that you can attach a flat-screen TV to. The thing costs $200, and I can't help but feel that it's money ill-spent. Even if the television does survive the drive to your tailgate without getting hit by a rock or being rear-ended -- what happens when you're in the stadium watching the game? I'll tell you what happens: I pull up next to your truck and unscrew my new flat-screen, compliments of you. I also take any remaining beers or liquor you have lying around. Thanks moron.

Tow Hitch TV Mount [boingboing]

Nov 29 2007 No Surgery: Product Promises 20/20 Vision

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I'm all about DIY projects, healthcare included. That's why I was excited to hear about the Eye Power. It's a device aimed at correcting "near-sighted/myopic vision problems". You hold it up to your eye 10 minutes at a time and it sends ultrasonic waves through your freaking eyeball. You're supposed to have perfect 20/20 vision in no time. The product is untested and there is no evidence what-so-ever to back the claims -- but it's only $800. Besides, ultrasonic waves and eyeballs were practically made for each other. So what if it makes your eyes explode or slams them into you brain. It's not like eyeballs don't regenerate. What's that, they don't? Well shit. Oh well, eye patches are coming back.

Eye Power aims to heal eyesight [ubergizmo]

Nov 29 2007 Future Of the Post-it: The Pock-it

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The Pock-it is a take off on the Post-it from designers Ayda Anlagan, Paul Blease, and Pu Tai. How it took three people to come up with the idea is a mystery to me. It's basically a Post-it that has sticky on the two adjacent sides, creating a little pocket to put things in. The only problem is the size. What else can you fit in there besides a business card or some other piece of paper? Unless it's big enough to hold a peanut butter and banana sandwich, it's useless to me.

Pock-it [yankodesign]

Nov 29 2007 Blendtec Douche Blends Guitar Hero III Guitar


Tom Dickson, who is most certainly a dick and douchebagger, blends a Guitar Hero guitar in the latest installment of "Will It Blend?". He claims he has 27 grandchildren, but I think we all know this guy has never procreated with anything but a blender. He destroys the guitar because "it doesn't play the Beach Boys". Jesus Tom, enough already. Some of us are still saving our allowances to afford that game, so it's a sad day to see it just chopped up like that. Tom ends with a "So this is what you get for not having the Beach Boys." Well Tom, this is what you get for destroying that game *punches teeth out, grabs Tom's arm* "Will it blend?" *jams Tom's arm in blender*. It blends.

Youtube

Nov 29 2007 Best Modern Artist Ever Presents Drinking Art

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Hannes Broecker is a brilliant artist. How can I tell? Because of his 'Drink Away The Art' installation recently exhibited in Dresden, Germany.

Broecker has aroused our sense of taste (not to mention eliminated the need of elbowing our way to the bar) by hanging flat, glass containers with a variety of cocktails in the exhibition space. As the night progressed, the levels of the multi-colored infusions diminished. By the end of the event, the art, itself, ran dry, and empty drinking glasses were returned to where they were originally placed.

I was lucky enough to be there on opening night, and let me tell you -- it was awesome! I got so shit-faced I wandered into the ancient Egypt exhibit and was caught dry humping a mummy. Hey, I prefer my lovers mature.

Two more pictures after the pour.

Continue Reading " Best Modern Artist Ever Presents Drinking Art "

Nov 29 2007 Static Discharge Unit Keeps You Shock Free

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The Static Electricity Eliminator (SEE) is a little device from ThinkGeek that will remove the static charge you may be carrying. You touch the rubber end to anything that's grounded, and wait for the little face on the LCD screen to light up, indicating you're static free. The unit requires no batteries and costs $10. But, if you're looking for something a little cheaper, you can always shock me. And by shock I mean flash. Whoa dude, not you.

Product Page

thanks to Tiny, who is actually quite large, for the tip

Nov 28 2007 Santa: All I Want For Christmas Is A VertiPod

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Dear Santa,

This is the Geekologie writer. I don’t want to waste any of your time, but I thought you might want to know what I want for Christmas. All I want is a VertiPod. I know what you’re thinking, the name is dumb as hell -- but I can look past that. It's a personal hovercraft! It hovers 5-15 feet above the ground and can reach a top speed of 40mph. Wow! They come as an assemble-yourself kit with either petrol or ethanol engine (I'll take the ethanol). The cost is about $10,000, but apparently they're not on the market yet. Having been such a good boy this year I though that you could get together with the Easter Bunny and maybe steal me the prototype or something. I swear I'll cut down on the penis jokes and cheating behind my girlfriend's back. I may even give up drinking. Okay, not the drinking. What do you say? Listen Santa, I've already pounded a fifth of bourbon writing this and I'm getting pretty worked up. I'm not asking for the VertiPod anymore, I'm demanding it. You will bring me that VertiPod or I'll slice your package off. You know, the one you haven't seen in years because you're such a fat bastard. I've caught word that Mrs. Claus is completely unsatisfied. S you know I'm totally gonna lay the hump down on her. Hell, we may even have a sex party with some elves and reindeer. So yeah, one VertiPod please.

Yours truly,

The Geekologie Writer

VertiPod is Segway of the sky [ubergizmo]

Nov 28 2007 Keyless Keyboard: Wack, Uses Orbs, WTF!?

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Sure the QWERTY keyboard may have some issues that need to be addressed in the long run, but I have a hard time believing the OrbiTouch Keyless Keyboard ($400) is going to be the peripheral of the future. Sure it's a far cry from the stupidity of this keyboard, but that doesn't mean anything. How does it work you ask?

Each dome slides into one of 8 zones to type a character. The domes do not twist. Either dome can slide first or move both at the same time. Domes slide toward the center of their respective color or character zones -- not directly at the character. Slide the right dome to the zone of the character you want to type; slide the left dome to the color of that character.

So that's how it works. I still don't get it. May be a great idea for people with disabilities or others with limited motor skills, but for an everyday user? I doubt it. I can burn a QWERTY keyboard with upwards of like 10,000 WPM. Which is one thing I couldn't find out about the OrbiTouch -- how many words per minute can someone prolific with the device type? I couldn't find it on their website. Because it's 10.

OrbiTouch Keyless Keyboard [coolestgadgets]

Nov 28 2007 Cell Phone Explodes in Korea, Killing Owner

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A 33-year old construction worker was found dead in Cheongwon, Korea, apparently done in by his cell phone. He was found beside his excavator in a stone quarry by his coworkers, and doctors announced him DOA. "His cell phone was found in his shirt pocket with its battery severely melted and his chest burned and fractured." The company that makes the cell phone stated "We will fully cooperate with the police investigation, but we believe that the battery was very unlikely to explode. Our battery is wrapped in aluminum foil, so when there is an external shock, it should just melt, not explode.'' Of course, aluminum foil! It makes everything safe. Like the time I told my kid sister to jump off the roof with an aluminum foil helmet on. Of course she died, but it's not like her head exploded or anything.

UPDATE: It turns out the man's cell phone didn't kill him, his coworker Kwan accidentally backed over him with his excavator and made up the story to save himself. Didn't work, he's being charged with manslaughter.

Man dies after phone explodes in his pocket [newlaunches]

Nov 28 2007 World's Fastest Zipline Reaches 100 MPH

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The world's fastest zipline resides in Sun City, South Africa. They also claim it's the tallest and longest, but I think that's debatable. You ride the thing with a damn fin between your legs to keep you straight while reaching a top speed of 100 mph. Wow this thing is awesome, and it fulfills a lifelong dream of mine: To feel like you're about to die right before crashing into the South African desert and really dying. Awesome!

Continue Reading " World's Fastest Zipline Reaches 100 MPH "

Nov 28 2007 Optimus Maximus Keyboard Configurations

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Many of you probably already know about the ridiculous Art Lebedev 'Optimus Maximus' keyboard that has been hyped for the past little while. If you don't then it's a keyboard in which the keys are little active OLED displays, capable of being changed to whatever you want. Well now the company has announced different configurations other than the full 113 active button one that costs $1,564. That's right folks, for $999 you can get 47 active buttons, $599 for 10, and for a paltry $462 you can get an active spacebar only. I'll admit the thing looks bad-ass (well, only the 113 and 47 models), but come on Art, $1,513? For that kind of money the damn thing better do my typing for me. What a piece of crappity crap. I mean what absolute garbage. Poppy-cock! This thing is a joke. Trash! Waste of money. Poo-poo. Horribly horrible! Seriously Art, send me a free one and I'll make that all go away.

A video demo after the jump, but the ass-monkey can't hold the camera steady.

Continue Reading " Optimus Maximus Keyboard Configurations "

Nov 28 2007 Soft Touch Robot (Allegedly) Won't Hurt You

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'Twendy-One' is the horrible name of a new robot coming out of Japan. His claim to fame is his gentle touch, thanks to the 241 pressure-sensors in each hand, which allow him to grip bread without breaking it. Wow, just what I've been waiting for -- a bread gripping robot. The bastard stands five-feet tall, and the team responsible for his development hopes to get his price down to $200,000 by 2010. He was designed to serve breakfast, but so far only has a 15 minute battery life. Which makes perfect sense. I mean really. Who needs a warm breakfast on the table when you can have a robot that puts bread in the toaster, turns on the stove, powers down due to a low battery, then lets your house burn to the ground? All for only $200,000. Where can I pre-order?

Another picture after the jump, but be warned: It looks graphic.

Continue Reading " Soft Touch Robot (Allegedly) Won't Hurt You "

Nov 28 2007 World's Largest Atari Controller Is Pretty Big

Jason Torchinsky, a man who loves Atari but can't stand small controllers made a frickin' huge classic Atari controller. As you can see it's quite large. Unfortunately there were no shots of Olivia Munn playing with it. Which is unfortunate, because that would have made it a lot better. It still looks fun though. Except I'm a little worried that in the video Jason mentions "It's meant to be climbed on, it's meant to be played with, just like the real thing." And the interviewer agrees. Now let me be the first to say that I did climb on a real Atari controller once in my youth, and I can honestly say that's not what it was meant for. Unless having a doctor remove a plastic gaming peripheral from your ass was Atari's intention.

Giant Atari Joystick / 8-bit Therapy [boingboing]

Nov 28 2007 USB Hub Has Cup Warmer, Slow Connectivity

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The Brando 'USB Cup Warmer with USB Hub and Clock' costs $24 and is jam-packed with features like, well, all those listed in the product's title. It also has a readout for the current temperature of the warming plate. All this and 4 USB 1.1 ports! Wait, 1.1? I was sold up until that point. You have to be careful with Brando. It seems they just take old parts, throw them in a box, shake it real good, and presto, new product! Next thing you know they'll be releasing the 'Brando Webcam with 5.25" Floppy Drive and 14.4 kbps Modem'.

Worst USB Gadget Yet: Coffee Warmer Hub Clock [therawfeed]

Nov 27 2007 Bright Blinds: Add A Window To A Blank Wall

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Two Japanese designers have created Bright Blinds, which are blinds to be hung on blank walls to give the appearance of a window underneath. Electroluminescent sheeting is responsible for the simulated daylight, and the amount of light emitted is controlled via the same methods as traditional blinds. Not nearly as cool as Philip's Dynamic Daylight Window, but a neat concept none-the-less. Except they won't work. It's like the time I tried to cheer myself up at the office, despite working in a windowless interior cubicle. You know what I did? I drew a window on my whiteboard -- with a beach outside, complete with palm trees and bikini babes. And let me tell you, that shit didn’t work worth a damn. If anything I was even more depressed.

Video of the blinds after the jump.

Continue Reading " Bright Blinds: Add A Window To A Blank Wall "

Nov 27 2007 Bookshelf Cave Is Sort Of Neat, Needs Work

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The Cave, from designer Sakura Adachi combines a bookshelf and a comfortable place to sit and read. Aimed at taking you back to your childhood when you used to make forts with stools and blankets, the thing is supposed to be a calming place to relax and unwind. The unit has bookshelves on both sides, with the cave crawlspace in between. So it's made to be a room divider and not pushed against a wall. Which kind of defeats the purpose. What good is a two-sided cave? As a matter of fact that's not even a cave, that's a hole. A very expensive hole, I bet. So expensive you can't buy any books for the damn thing afterwards. Okay, may a few. A bunch of copies of the same pink one. Oh, and the last time I checked, a 'Cave' is not considered a suitable babysitter for a child. Somebody call protective services.

Escape Into Your Cave [yankodesign]

Nov 27 2007 Monitor For The Colorblind Coming Soon

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Eizo's 24-inch Flexscan SX2461W-U is a monitor made specifically for people with colorblindness. Which is awesome, because I'm slightly colorblind. Nothing so bad as not being able to differentiate green and red, but I do have trouble with some hues, particularly online. The unit utilizes CUD (Color Universal Design) technology that "uses shapes, positions, patterns, and so on to communicate color information back to the user." Sweet. The unit is available in Japan early next month for around $1,050, and will likely make its way around the world not too long after. If the price drops I may consider one. Because just last week I thought I was ordering a blue sweater from LL Bean, but it turns out I adopted a Chinese kid.

EIZO's 24-inch FlexScan for the colorblind [engadget]

Nov 27 2007 Umbrella Flask Hides Liquor, Costs Too Much

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This Brigg umbrella features a Malacca cane two-piece handle with a fitted screw-in drinking flask. That's all well and good, but the damn thing costs around $880! Now correct me if I'm wrong, but if you have $880 to spend on a freaking umbrella, I'm pretty sure you're allowed to drink anywhere you damn well please. Because you're filthy rich. Who would want to be caught drinking out of a cane/umbrella anyways? You'd look ridiculous. Like I do right now drinking out of my girlfriend's purse. The bartender looked away for one second last night and I had that thing filled to the brim with bourbon. Sure it tastes like makeup and tampons, but that's a small price to pay for free liquor.

Umbrella Flask: Swigin' in the Rain [boingboing]

Nov 27 2007 Exoskeleton Is Wicked Nasty, I Need One

Utah based Sarcos spent six years developing this exoskeleton bodysuit capable of giving an average person superhuman strength. I must admit it looks pretty bad-ass. The suit mimics everything you do, making it way easier to lift and move heavy objects. In the future the company wants to make the suits autonomous, allowing a person to remove the suit and have it act as a humanoid robot. Which sounds like a bad idea for something that has giant hooks for hands (don't touch your privates). I kept waiting to see if the suit could run through a brick wall or throw a car, but the video didn't show. Meaning it definitely can. Awesome.

Exoskeleton Turns Humans Into Terminators [liveleak]

thanks to Ben Hur, a superhuman himself, for the tip

Nov 26 2007 Electric Guitar Laptop Mod Is Pretty Sweet

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Ben Lewry, a guitar and computer lover, modded a laptop to fit inside an electric guitar. It's called the LCDetar. Which is not the best name, but far better than Guitard. The laptop inside features a trippy music visualization program that responds to whatever you're playing on the guitar. Good job Ben, the thing looks sweet. As a matter of fact, it may be the best laptop mod I've ever seen. Well, except for the ukulele one I made last year. Ho ho, gotcha Ben! Ukulele laptop FTW. Better luck next time buddy.

A couple more pictures and two videos of it in action after the jam session.

Continue Reading " Electric Guitar Laptop Mod Is Pretty Sweet "

Nov 26 2007 Man Takes Computer Cooling Way Too Far

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Ever seen a computer case made out of cooling fans? Well here it is. Peter Edge made this case out of 66 individual case fans. The computer inside is "an Intel P4 3GHz Prescott CPU with MSI MS-6540 motherboard, 512MB DDR400 RAM, 40GB ATA HDD, and a 36xCDROM." Seems kind of overkill for a computer with those specs. I was expecting something a little bit more serious on the inside, Peter. That computer would run fine with a pillow smothering it. Under a pile of blankets. On fire.

66-fan casemod keeps things cool [technabob]

Nov 26 2007 Flying 'Robot' Sure To Be A Hit For Christmas

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The XPV R.A.D. Robotic Air Defense toy ($65) is billed as an awesome flying robot toy. While the unit does fly, and the figure attached does light up and do some talking, I'm hard pressed to call him a robot. I expect more out of a robot than blinking eyes and missile sounds. However, the thing still seems cool.

Capable of performing amazing aerial stunts. Flight range of over 300 feet. Flies up to 30 MPH and over 20 stories. New, super-light stealth styling inspired by real stealth planes. Twin turbo engine design. Made with impact resistant material. Includes first aid vehicle repair kit. Detachable blaster included. 2 Channel controller.

Not only that, but the thing drives on land and the XPV battery charger can charge other USB devices you may have on you. Whoo-wee! Last Christmas I bought one of those micro-helicopters for myself because no one else loves me. It was pretty fun until I wrecked it in the ceiling fan trying to evade a cat. This year I may treat myself to one of these bad boys and chase squirrels around the yard. Because that's what you do when you have no friends.

Video demonstration after the jump.

Continue Reading " Flying 'Robot' Sure To Be A Hit For Christmas "

Nov 26 2007 The Beer Pager: Never Lose Your Beer Again

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The beer pager is basically a coaster with attached koozie that you put your beer in. If for any reason you misplace your precious life-blood you just push the page button and your beer loudly belches, indicating its location. The thing costs $20, runs on AAA batteries, and is pretty damn stupid. I mean, who misplaces a beer anyways? Sure I often lose unimportant items like my driver's license and wedding ring, but beer? Come on. Not to mention you're f'ed if you lose the pager. Finally, isn't it a little ridiculous that a product called The Beer Pager features a Coca-Cola can in the picture? Gluing a koozie to your hand: 1, The Beer Pager: 0.

Remote Control Beverage Pager [ohgizmo]

Nov 26 2007 Life-Size LEGO Figure Is Cool, Cardboard

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A man has made a life-size LEGO figure entirely out of cardboard and hot glue, complete with removable and rotating body parts.

All flat and rounded surface planes of the original LEGO man were measured to the 32nd of an inch and mathematically converted to recreate the LEGO man at 60" (5ft) tall. The proportions of the 60" final piece are accurate to the 16th of an inch, with cardboard thickness taken into consideration. All surface scores performed with X-acto at 1/2" intervals for rounded applications.

The whole project took about 50 hours from start to finish. I wonder if he's going to paint it, or if that would detract from the whole "it's made of cardboard" appeal. Painted or not, I do know one thing -- this would make the world's awesomest piñata. Fill that sucker up with airplane bottles and have at it. Ever seen a life-size LEGO figure bleed little liquor bottles? Me neither, but I just made it my life's goal.

Man Makes Life-Sized LEGO Minifig from Cardboard [boingboing]

Nov 26 2007 Man Sells Massive Star Wars Toy Collection

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Some guy who let his collecting addiction get the best of him is finally selling it all. Included in the auction are over 1,160 modern Star Wars figures, a bunch of vintage ones, and some randoms from other movies. The starting bid is $25,450 and there’s a "Buy-It-Now" price set at $34,500. However there is only one day left and not a single bid. Probably because people are smart and don't want $25,000 worth of modern Star Wars figures. The seller himself admits "This is a big step I'm taking in order to move on and accomplish a new plan I have for my future." No shit it is. Apparently Plan A - 'Live a life of celibacy in your aunt's attic with a massive Star Wars collection' finally lost its luster. Go figure.

A couple more pictures after the jump, hit the auction link if you want to see them all.

Continue Reading " Man Sells Massive Star Wars Toy Collection "

Nov 26 2007 Crossbones Pillow Is On My Christmas List

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The skull and crossbones pillow is a large cushion with a nice piratey theme. They run $31 and are a must have for any serious pirate. Like me. The person in the picture is clearly no pirate though. While undoubtedly ugly (since they're hiding their face) we know better than to lie on the sofa with shoes on. And Velcro is a definite no-no for the pirate crowd. Trust me, I've been lootin' and plunderin' since I popped out of the womb. As a matter of fact when I was born I swung out on a rope with a knife in my teeth, firing a cannon at the doctor. Then I downed a jug of rum and banged a nurse while smoking a cigar. True story.

Large Skull and Crossbones Cushion is Comfortably Masculine [nerdapproved]

Nov 26 2007 New 'Kite' Used To Harvest Wind Energy

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Architect Laurie Chetwood believes that kites will play a key roll in future "green" energy generation. Chetwood's brainchild, the Wind Dam, is scheduled to go up over Lake Lagoda (Russia) in the coming months. He is convinced the concept will be a hit, stating it's "highly effective at capturing the wind because it replicates the work of a dam and doesn't let the wind escape in the way it does using traditional propellers." Basically the Wind Dam is a "75-meter kite with multiple tethers used to funnel wind into a turbine, creating juice." Sounded good until then didn't it? I'm all about green technology, but I think this guy has got his head in the wrong place. Juice? Juice is easy to make -- you just squeeze some damn fruit. We need electricity damnit.

Nov 23 2007 Supersonic Jet Goes For A Cool $80,000,000

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The first Aerion Supersonic Business Jet was recently sold to Sheikh Rashid, the ruler of Dubai. It set him back a paltry $80,000,000. The thing can reach Mach 1.6 and fly from New York to Tokyo in 9.5 hours. Or from New York to Paris in 4.2 hours. It's powered by two Pratt & Whitney JT8D-219 engines, which make it go really fast. Almost as fast as me. I just flew home from California and boy are my arms tired. Get it? Because I was flying like a bird. Not in a plane. I was flapping my arms, that's why they're tired. Wow that one gets me every time. I am LOL and ROFL. Oh god, I just SMP. If you'll excuse me I need to do a load of laundry.

Video after the cut, but there's no real life footage of the plane.

Continue Reading " Supersonic Jet Goes For A Cool $80,000,000 "

Nov 23 2007 Ultra-Rare Nintendo Game Up For Sale

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A 1990 Nintendo World Championship NES cartridge is up on eBay with a "Buy-It-Now" price of $12,000. There were only 116 ever made, and this is one of 90 grey ones given to semi-finalists. The other 26 are gold, like the old Zelda cartridges, and were given to winners and runners-up of a Nintendo Power contest (one recently sold for $20,000+). Check out the Wikipedia page for more details on the competition. The cartridge has versions of Super Mario Bros., Rad Racer, and Tetris on it. It's considered the 3rd rarest game of all time, with gold ones being the 1st. If you end up purchasing this item please buy me a new car for letting you know about it. Or if you have the money but don't want the game we could get together and pound $12,000 of booze and hookers. I'm flexible. But not mobile, so you'll have to come pick me up.

eBay via [technabob]

Nov 23 2007 Nail Cushion: If You Suck With A Hammer

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I'm well versed in the use of tools because I'm big into home improvement projects. I just love doing stuff around the house. Like yesterday I ran electricity from my elderly neighbor's shed to my house. I’m a regular handyman. But for those of you out there that can't manage to complete a project without hurting yourself, here comes the Nail Cushion. It's a "rubberized plate that holds various nail diameters to allow an easy and safe strike." So your precious little digits don't get all smashed up. But what happens when you get marooned on a tropical island with no Nail Cushion? You ain't building a house like the Swiss Family Robinson, that's for sure. Nope, you get eaten by a shark one morning when you're collecting sea urchins. And all because you never learned to wield a hammer.

Note: I'm not even going to comment on the way the hand in the picture is holding the hammer.

Nail Cushion Saves Fingers [yankodesign]

Nov 23 2007 Spy Pen Detects Wireless and RF Signals

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The Auto Detective pen detects wireless and RF signals. The light starts blinking when it detects "signals within the ranges of 900/1200/1300 and 2400/2600/3000MHz". The faster the blinking the closer you are to the spy device you're detecting. As an added bonus it's supposed to have some feature that helps detect counterfeit bills. The unit runs $16 and is made in China. I've already placed my order. I have reason to believe my girlfriend bugged the house because she suspects I'm cheating. Which I am, but she'll never catch me. The bag-lady and I only make love at the bus-stop. I don't invite her over because she smells like urine.

Auto Detective Pen to Identify the Rat in your Crew [uberreview]

Nov 23 2007 Phone + Mouse = Skype Travel Mouse

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The Skype Travel Mouse is a mouse with an integrated phone. It features a 128 x 64 pixel LCD display for caller ID, etc. and a sliding numeric keypad. I don't use Skype myself, because I live in a tree house and make all my calls with a rusty soup can and a long piece of string. But if you are big into Skype, maybe you want one. If so it'll set you back $42.50. Just be careful about who sees you using this thing at work. Because the last time I tried using the mouse to make phone calls my coworkers all looked at me like I was crazy. I wasn't crazy, I was just high as hell. And that's why I got fired.

Skype Travel Mouse [ohgizmo]

Nov 23 2007 Angelina Jolie Tomb Raider Gun For Sale

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The replica Heckler & Koch 9mm that Angelina Jolie used in the original Tomb Raider movie is for sale on eBay. It's made mostly of rubber, look pretty good, and comes with the holster that was worn on Angelina's leg. So yeah, you can own something that touched Angelina's leg. The bidding starts at $5,000, and nobody has made a move since the auction started four days ago. Because who the hell wants to blow 5K on a rubber gun? Not this guy. It's not like Angelina had sex with the gun or anything. At least not that I know of. If she did that would be a completely different story. A story that ends with that gun in my pants.

eBay via [uberreview]

Nov 23 2007 Life Clock: Not For The Lazy Or Irresponsible

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The Life Clock is the lovechild of an alarm clock and one of those annoying-ass Tamagotchi virtual pets that always died on me. They're available in a variety of colors and run about $30. When the alarm goes off in the morning and you hit snooze or take too long to get to it, the little people that live inside suffer. Which is awesome. Because if there's one thing I love in this world it's watching little LCD people suffer. I'm going to get one and put two really weak batteries in so they'll be hurting right out of the box. Then I'll stuff it under a few pillows and let it go off all day. Take that you little bastards.

Life Clock is a fun way to start your day [newlaunches]

Nov 23 2007 U.S. Patent 6313371: Underwear Deodorizer

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Well I hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving yesterday and stuffed themselves full. I know I did -- I made my famous Thanksgiving bourbon. My mother brought a great gin dish over and my father cooked up an exceptional moonshine. Fun was had by all until I tried to make out with my sister. Anyways.

Just in time for Thanksgiving leftovers comes U.S. Patent 6313371. It describes the Flatulence Deodorizer, which is a "non-intrusive" pad you tape "inside briefs or panties in the anal area". It's basically a little activated carbon patch that neutralizes odors. And f'ing ridiculous. Just make sure the woman you brought home doesn't see it when you're stripping down. Because she'll jump out the window. And tell all her friends. Please don't get these, just blame the dog or a senile old person. That's what I do.

Farting damage control for the holidays [ubergizmo]

Nov 21 2007 Ukranian Man Builds Two-Faced Wooden Car

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I don't know what it is with Ukrainians and building unusual wooden things, but Vasily Lazarenko has gone and built himself a car. Under the wood it's a 1981 Opel, but on top of the wood it's a confusing looking sedan/convertible hybrid. Like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. I mean damn that wood looks good, but I would have stuck with one design for the whole thing. Vasily quit his job and sold two other cars in order to afford the 1.5 years and parts needed to complete this, uh, thing. He refuses to admit what it cost to build, which means it was way too much and he regrets ever doing it. You have talent Vasily, but lets stick to rocking chairs and toy wagons in the future, okay?

A few more pictures and a video of the car in action after the jump.

Continue Reading " Ukranian Man Builds Two-Faced Wooden Car "

Nov 21 2007 Polymer Snow Debuts At Ski Resort In Texas!

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Texas based Bearfire Resort is using Snowflex, a polymer-based snow substitute, to cover its ski trails. The resort hopes to be operational by '09, and will offer year round skiing and snowboarding. So yeah, that's wack. It just won't be the same urinating your name in the snow anymore. Because it won't be snow. It'll be plastic. And peeing in plastic is only fun on long car trips. You know, when you don't want to pull over and happen to have a half empty Gatorade bottle handy.

Polymer-based snow = skiing cowboys [core77]

Nov 21 2007 Wii Light Sword Lights Up, Looks Short

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There is finally a knock-off light saber attachment for the Wii controller available for anyone itching to practice their sabering skills before Star Wars: The Force Unleashed hits the street next year. The unit features a power up/down effect and relies on 22 ultra-bright LEDs to make it all happen. It runs on three AAs and will set you back about $31. I can't wait for them to drop at the end of the month. I'm tired of swinging around the 4-foot fluorescent tube I taped my Wii controller to. It's awkward and I've already broken several. There are shards of glass everywhere. Sure it tingles to walk on, but I'm a freaking Jedi people. I've got myself mind-tricked.

Since Thanksgiving is tomorrow and I am such a giving person and all, I posted the infamous "large boy swings shower rod around like light saber video" after the jump, along with two digitized versions. Sure we've all seen them before (maybe not the last one), but damn they're funny.

Continue Reading " Wii Light Sword Lights Up, Looks Short "

Nov 21 2007 Napkin Notebook: For Your $1,000,000 Ideas

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My million dollar ideas don't come to me when I'm sitting at work in the cubicle playing Solitaire or Mine Sweeper, with abundant paper and pens. No sir, they come to me when I'm plastered at the bar and falling off my stool. And I have to smear them down on a bar-napkin with a pen I demand from the bartender or a crayon from the kid's bin. So boy was I happy to see someone finally designed the Napkin Notebook. Sure you could just carry around a regular little pad of paper, but that doesn't get the creative juices flowing like tearing through a napkin. I empty my pockets when I wake up the next morning, and presto -- tons of million dollar ideas from my bender the night before. As a matter of fact I've got one here, "Stop kissing the chick beside you, it's a dude." Oh god no.

Napkin Notebook [electroplankton]

Nov 21 2007 Ninja Vs. Pirate: The Battle Rages On

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Who's the supreme killer, ninja or pirate? Now you can help settle the debate yourself thanks to these inflatable radio controlled characters from ThinkGeek. They cost $35 for the set and each runs off one 9V battery for the controller, and four AAs for the actual character. Make sure to use these batteries for an unfair advantage. The object is to ram the enemy over, "killing" them. There's a video after the jump which shows a dog attacking them. ZOMG -- Dog vs. Ninja vs. Pirate, I smell a reality series!

Video after the battle.

Continue Reading " Ninja Vs. Pirate: The Battle Rages On "

Nov 20 2007 Laser Guided Hand Saw, Sure, Why Not

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I love home improvement projects as much as the next manly man, but I have yet to purchase any laser guided tools. Mostly because I'm really poor. Well finally there's one that I might be able to buy without breaking the bank -- the laser guided hand saw.

This hand saw has a built-in laser, so you can see precisely where you’re cutting without additional measuring. Just make a mark on your cutting surface, align the laser beam with the line, and cut away. You’ll make a straight line every time. Button-cell batteries not included.

Well I realized that I'd never actually buy one after all, so I just made my own by taping a laser to a hand saw I had lying around. I'm glad my roommate tried it out before I did, because apparently I didn't get it taped on straight. We put his fingers on ice so they could be sewn back on later, but I got drunk one night and mistook them for tasty Vienna sausages.

Laser Guided Hand Saw, Hand Saw 2.0 [uberreview]

Nov 20 2007 Play Pong And Tetris On A Watch, Why?

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Nixon made two new watches, one that plays Tetris and another that plays Pong. As is evident from the photo the graphics don't exactly knock your socks off. What is the purpose of these again? I thought everyone uses their cell phone as a watch. And has games on it too. Aren't the graphics way better? Can't you, oh I don't know, make and receive calls? Nixon you might have had something with these 15 years ago. But this isn't the early 90's anymore. This is the, uh, when is it now? My memory fails me. The last thing I can remember is a car with gullwing doors and speeding towards a lightning storm with some crazy a-hole named Doc.

Tetris & Pong Forever [yankodesign]

Nov 20 2007 For Trekkies: Wicked Star Trek Home Theater

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Well we've seen the Star Wars home theater in the past, and now comes the Star Trek version. And damn is this thing jam packed with goodness. Modeled after the Enterprise NCC-1701D from The Next Generation, this thing boasts "motion-activated air-lock doors with series sound effects, and a “Red Alert” button on the Crestron TPMC-10 controller to turn all of the LEDs bright red and flashing. The system also features “one of the largest Kaleidescape hard-drive based storage systems” ever created, amassing eight servers with 3,816 DVDs."

Well damn. That is one serious home theater system. Looks like someone really loves Star Trek and has serious money to throw around. I wish I had serious money to throw around, but I don't. I just have play money. And they've stopped taking it at the strip club.

Three more must-see pics after warp speed.

Continue Reading " For Trekkies: Wicked Star Trek Home Theater "

Nov 20 2007 For The Ladies: Handscape Rings Are Clever

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The Handscape ring collection from Netherlands designer Zelda Bauchampet turns your fingers into a pleasant little landscape. Some of the rings are buildings, others are animals or trees. They probably won't help you punch through the window of your boyfriend's car. They're for sale, but no word on price. I'm ordering a set for my girlfriend, to try to make up for that whole "making out with another girl by the dumpster behind the bar" thing that went down a few nights ago. Oh wait, she doesn't know about that. Cancel the order.

One more picture of some of the rings after the jump.

Continue Reading " For The Ladies: Handscape Rings Are Clever "

Nov 20 2007 Toilet Tunes Prevents Unwanted Situations

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The Toilet Tunes Automatic Bathroom Entertainment device plays music whenever your toilet lid is up. You get to choose what you listen to, like soothing jazz, Latin guitar, modern techno/ pop or nature sounds (rain, ocean waves, mountain stream). It costs $30 and runs on 3 AAA batteries. The idea is that it will remind men to put the seat and lid down, as well as provide extra privacy. Because nobody likes hearing another person use the restroom. I'm definitely getting one for the apartment. I swear my roommate actually catches air based on some of the sounds I hear coming from the bathroom. One day he'll be yelling for help because he blasted himself through the ceiling.

Toilet Tunes - Music for your throne [coolestgadgets]

Nov 19 2007 Metroid Samus Costume Looks Good To Me

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Someone with lots of talent made a sweet Samus Aran costume from Metroid. Then some beautiful lady with lots of talent modeled it. Damn damn damn. What was I just talking about? Something about something. Oh right, the costume. Damn she looks good in that thing. Something about that beam cannon arm does magical things to me. Is it getting hot in here? I think I'm in love.

Because I love you all (and I'm not getting you anything else for Christmas) I'm posting a bunch more pictures after the jump.

Continue Reading " Metroid Samus Costume Looks Good To Me "

Nov 19 2007 Amazon Releases Kindle, Oh Happy Day!

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Kindle, Amazon's ebook reader dropped today for $400. Over 90,000 titles are already available for the device, and each is less than $10. You can also get subscriptions to major newspapers, magazines, etc. for a monthly fee. "The unit is not Wi-Fi compatible. Instead, it's on its own EV-DO network, called Whispernet, which is affiliated with Sprint." You can't actually use it as a web browser though, except for free access to Wikipedia. So, yeah. Someone get one and tell me how it is. I like the newspaper subscription idea, but I prefer my books analog. There's just nothing more relaxing than sitting on the john with a hardback stretched across your naked thighs. Well, until your legs fall asleep and you collapse trying to stand up. Then you're lying on the cold tile floor with your pants around your ankles and a cat licking your face.

Amazon's Kindle unveiled: an ebook reader with free Internet access [sci-fi]

Nov 19 2007 USB Laptop Alarm: Don't Know How I Feel

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Belkin's USB Laptop Alarm is questionable and funny looking. It costs $25. Basically you attach the base to a sturdy object and plug the USB cable into your computer. If someone disconnects the laptop without first inserting the magic key then an alarm sounds. If someone (you) loses the key then you have to steal your own laptop from yourself while everyone watches and you scream "I swear it's mine! I just lost the key to this stupid alarm!" Which is pretty much the technique I use to steal laptops. Except I wear pantyhose over my head for good measure.

Keep your laptop safe with a USB alarm [coolestgadgets]

Nov 19 2007 Aiko Robot Doesn't Like Being Touched

Canadian robot lover Trung Le built himself a female android named Aiko and gave a few public demonstrations of what she's capable of. Basically she can give directions, read stuff off the internet, and respond to some stimuli. Like when Trung grabs her arm too hard she tells him "Why did you do that for? It's hurt." Then right after that he moves in and grabs a boobie. She takes a swing at him and tells him "I do not like it when you touch my breasts." Nice one Trung, you're probably the creepiest robot builder ever. It certainly doesn't help that the poor android is limited to a wheelchair. Jesus Trung, you really hit rock bottom with this performance. You sick bastard.

Canadian Fembot Hates Being Sexually Harassed [therawfeed]

Nov 19 2007 Recipe Book Must Be Baked To Be Read

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Food company Podravka had Croatian creative agency Bruketa & Zinić cook them up a really clever way of presenting their annual report. Nested inside the boring financials, etc. is another little book of Podravka recipes.

To be able to cook like Podravka you need to be a precise cook. That is why the small Podravka booklet is printed in invisible, thermo-reactive ink. To be able to reveal Podravka’s secrets you need to cover the small booklet in aluminium foil and bake it at 100 degrees Celsius (212 Fahrenheit) for 25 minutes.

Neato! It's gotta be baked in order to be read! Kind of like the time I got baked and tried to read, but way different. I was on the same sentence for over a half hour. By the time I realized it was hopeless I had eaten two boxes of Pop Tarts and the last of my roommate’s spray cheese.

"Well Done" Annual Report [notcot]

Thanks to master chef Shannon for the tip

Nov 19 2007 Martini Maker: James Bond Would Be Sick

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The Waring Pro Automatic Martini Maker is an electric martini maker that costs $100. "Simply add your favorite ingredients using the 1-ounce shaker cap, turn it on, wait for the green olive to light up, press shaken or stirred on the touchpad and you've just made the perfect martini." So basically it's a piece of junk that shakes or stirs ingredients for $100. Notice how James Bond, a martini connoisseur, does not endorse this product. He thinks it's stupid. Like making out with ugly chicks, he just doesn't do it. I do though, because I'm desperate and ugly.

James Bond Gadget - automatic martini maker [popgadget]

Nov 19 2007 Flight Simulator Gaming Chair Doesn't Fly

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The HotSeats 723 Flight Simulator TRX Game Chair has a very long name. It also has a long list of features.

It comes equipped with a 23-inch HDTV widescreen LCD monitor, a high performance 1.8 GHz Dual Core processor PC, LCD mount, Dolby 5.1 Surround Sound speakers with a remote control and subwoofer unit, Logitech wireless keyboard & mouse, cup holder for your drinks, and a swinging away console. Available in 4 vibrant colors, the HotSeats 723 touts adjustable video game controller holder, adjustable sliding seat, and the speaker system that supports up to 3 devices, including DVD players, VCRs and MP3 players.

The damn thing runs $5,635, which is steep. Now I'm not saying you could build something cooler for cheaper, but what I am saying is the cardboard car I built for playing Gran Turismo is way awesomer. Racing stripes and flames, baby. Those alone took two cans of spray paint, so you know it's bad-to-the-ass.

HotSeats 723 Flight Simulator TRX Game Chair Is A Sweet Deal [uberreview]

Nov 19 2007 Temporary Tattoos: When Love Doesn't Last

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Freedom 2, a tattoo ink company, has just released a line of ink that can be removed with a single laser treatment. The ink is produced by encasing water soluble pigments within insoluble polymers. The ink is visable as long as the small polymer beads (5-6 microns) aren't ruptured. When a laser does break the beads during removal, the soluble ink is reprocessed by the body and the tattoo disappears. Geez, where was this when I got married the first two times? Women get pretty disturbed by my 'Martha Forever' and 'Samantha Till I Die' tattoos whenever I remove my pants. Well, by those and the fact that I just took my pants off on the bus.

Erasable Tattoos Are Less Of A Regret [ohgizmo]

Nov 16 2007 Ripsaw Vehicle Is Nasty, Will Hurt You Bad

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The Ripsaw is an unmanned ground vehicle that tears shit up and doesn't even bother taking names later. It goes from 0 to 50 MPH in 3.5 seconds, is very maneuverable, and can knock over barns. It's been around for about two years since it hit the scene as a privately funded DARPA challenger and military prototype, but now they're available to the masses. And for only $200,000. Of course I would want to be able to get in mine and drive it, otherwise it's just a really sick RC car. I'm going to do donuts in the yard of that a-hole down the street that throws his newspaper at me whenever I drive by. If he comes out of his house I'll tell him exactly where I'm gonna ram this thing if I ever catch him with another paper.

Another picture and a video after the jump, which is definitely worth watching all of.

Continue Reading " Ripsaw Vehicle Is Nasty, Will Hurt You Bad "

Nov 16 2007 Knife Block Resembles Circus Side Show

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The Throwzini Knife Block isn't your ordinary knife receptacle. Okay it is, but at least it looks good. Reminiscent of this knife rest, it resembles the 'Rotating Wheel of Puncture Wounds' I saw at a circus once as a kid. It was awesome, the dude caught a knife right in the leg. Blood was spurting like a ruptured fire hydrant. Urban Trends will be selling these soon, for an undisclosed price. I managed to get my hands on one early, and I've got to say I'm a little disappointed. I thought you were actually supposed to throw the knives into the slots, and that magnets or something would guide them into their holes. I ended up losing the two smallest toes on my right foot, my left thumb, and a cat before I figured it out that's not how it works.

Throwzini's Knife Block Stores Cutlery on Wheel of Death [gizmodo]

Nov 16 2007 Personal Cell Phone Booths: Make It A Law

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Nick Rodrigues, a Boston artist, has developed the Personal Cell Phone Booth. If you're making or receiving a call you pull this clunky bastard out and put it on over your head. That way no one else has to listen to you talk about why your boss sucks or what you're making for dinner or whatever the hell people talk about. I really wish they'd make these things required by law. Because just yesterday I was at the bus stop putting my moves on the homeless bag lady that lives there, and this other freaking woman was on her cell phone talking about how her colon was acting up again. Talk about a mood breaker! Sure the bag lady was into it, but she's a bag lady. She shits her pants all the time.

A video after the jump, but it's just a guy walking around a city with the thing on. Don't expect much.

Continue Reading " Personal Cell Phone Booths: Make It A Law "

Nov 16 2007 Beer Bottle Opener: Hammered On The Job

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If my father taught me anything, it's that no home improvement project should ever be attempted without a copious amount of alcohol. So he would probably be ecstatic to see this bad boy -- the hammer beer bottle opener. They run $15 from crazyaboutgadgets and have a bottle opener on the back instead of a claw. Which means all the nails you screw up because you're sauced will just have to stay. And if you find yourself trying to open bottles with the non-bottle opener side of the hammer you're probably drunk as hell. Certainly way too f***ed up to be up on the roof wielding a hammer.

Beer Bottle Opener, Not Much of a Hammer [uberreview]

Nov 16 2007 Bird Bath Induction Charger Looks Good

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Induction recharge devices have existed for a little while, but this one adds some flair to the typically boring design of such units. This unnamed charger by designer Sun Kyung Kim resembles a little bird bath. When you place your phone on the unit the water ripples act as a visual indicator of your current charge level. It looks good in a cute sort of way, but I can't get one. I just don't have room in my tenement for a phone charger the size of a huge dinner plate. Well that and the whole no electricity thing.

Visual Desktop Charger [yankodesign]

Nov 16 2007 Cut A Bottle With String, Acetone, And Fire

You can cut a beer bottle using string dipped in acetone and then setting it on fire. The video is a demonstration. I like how the guy in the video shows you some great uses for the bottle after you've removed the top. Apparently it makes a great toothbrush holder or place to store desk supplies. While I did enjoy this novel approach to glass cutting, I already have my own bottle cutter. It's called the sidewalk. You may not be left with a toothbrush holder afterwards, but it will significantly decrease foot-traffic in your neighborhood.

Cutting a Glass Bottle with String [techeblog]

Nov 16 2007 Fire and Waterproof Hard Drives Coming

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SentrySafe and Maxtor got together to develop a line of hard drives that can withstand extreme conditions (briefly). The drives come in 80GB ($260) and 160GB ($320) capacities and "can withstand temperatures up to 1,550° Fahrenheit for 30 minutes and can be submerged in water for up to 24 hours." They'll be available the 1st of December. Which is a little late, because I accidentally burnt the house down last year. I miss you porn collection, I think about you every day.

SentrySafe Fire- and Water-Resistant Hard Drive Enclosures [boingboing]

Nov 16 2007 USB Wall Plugs: Brilliant, Awesome, Colorful

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The Brighton Bi-Plugs are AC adapters for USB devices. You plug one side into a wall outlet, and then plug your USB gadgetry (i.e. iPod) into the other -- for immediate use or charging. These things are awesome, and I wish I had invented them. No price yet, but they go on sale at the end of the month. And do you know what else is going on sale at the end of the month? All my roommate's stuff. The jerk went on vacation to Europe without paying rent so I'm liquidating all his personal property. It's my little way of saying "I hope you had a great vacation, you don't live here anymore. Oh, and did you bring me one of those cool beer steins from Germany?"

Bi-Plugs Lets You Charge USB Gadgets Almost Anywhere [ohgizmo]

Nov 15 2007 Warmkeyboard Keeps Your Fingers Toasty

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Maybe you've seen this before because it has been out for a little while, but in case you haven't the Warmkeyboard is a keyboard that has heating elements incorporated right into the keys. That way your fingers stay nice and warm on a cold day in the cubicle. It connects to your computer via USB, but has an AC adapter as well to power the unit's heating capabilities. They run $50, and based on the one customer review I read it sucks.

I bought the Warmkeyboard for a cubicle-mate who's often freezing. While it's a plug-and-play USB install, it fairly regularly just stops working, and requires rebooting. I've tried to convince him to let me return it, but he's too polite. Seriously.

So there you have it, there's some poor fingerless bastard out there who lost his digits because the damn thing doesn't function properly. A sad, sad story. What a great guy too, so polite and all. And this product practically goes and cuts his fingers off. That shit just ain't right.

Warmkeyboard for the Chilled Typist [coolestgadgets]

Nov 15 2007 Handcarved Wood PC Looks Wooden, Scary

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Valerie Beetle, a man from Pervomayske (probably where I should live) in southern Ukraine handcarved this PC case. It is wood and looks good. Now I'm all for cool computer mods and all, but I think we all know the true story behind this one. This man sold his soul to the devil for a custom wooden PC. The demonic accents were all the devil's idea -- Mr. Beetle actually asked for a unicorn climbing a rainbow over Strawberry Mountain. That's just what happens when you deal with the devil. Don't believe me? Just check out the pictures after the jump, particularly the one featuring Mr. Beetle's face. He might very well be the devil.

Two more pictures after the prayer.

Continue Reading " Handcarved Wood PC Looks Wooden, Scary "

Nov 15 2007 POP POP: Electronic Bubble Wrap Popper

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The Electronic Bubble Wrap Keychain from ThinkGeek ($10) is exactly what it sounds like. It's a little keychain with 8 buttons, and every time you push one it makes a popping noise like bubble wrap. For every 100 pops it rewards you with a round of applause or some other noise. You know, this thing reminds me of the Snap Your Fingers keychain I tried to market a few years back.

Video after the jump.

Continue Reading " POP POP: Electronic Bubble Wrap Popper "

Nov 15 2007 Key Fob Shocks Unsuspecting Joyriders

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The Shocks Car Key ($51), from Bim Bam Banana, is a key fob that looks like it will unlock your car. Except it won't, it will just shock you. How in the hell you're supposed to find someone dumb enough to push the big red button on the side that says "SHOCK" is a mystery to me. Seems like a serious design flaw. I guess you're supposed to scratch it out and write something clever on it like "PUSH ME". And hopefully the person will also ignore the metal electrodes. But if you do find someone to push the button, oh the laughs that will be had! Your friend gets shocked, then kicks out all your lights and breaks the car windows. They'll follow up that hilarity by rubbing your face on the pavement, taking your real keys and backing over you with your own car. What a funny prank!

Product Site [bimbambanana]

Thanks to Stevie, a man who knows how to have a good time, for the tip

Nov 15 2007 Duracell Provides Solution To Dying Gadgets

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The Duracell PowerSource Mobile 100 is a rechargeable power supply for your precious gadgets and gizmos.

The Duracell PowerSource Mobile 100 is the portable, rechargeable AC and USB power solution for all your mobile needs. It will extend the runtime of all of your mobile electronics such as an iPod, BlackBerry, video camera, cell phone and more. It will provide up to two hours of extended run time for your laptop. The Duracell PowerSource Mobile 100 has one AC outlet and two USB charge ports, so you can run or charge multiple devices simultaneously. You no longer have to carry extra cords, chargers and device-specific batteries.

They retail for $140, and I think I may be getting one. That is if I'm on Santa's good list this year. Apparently last year I was on the bad list. Christmas comes, Santa shows up and eats his milk and cookies, then kicks me in the balls and tells me I should burn in hell. This year I'm setting a trap for good measure. I'm taking the fat bastard's whole present sack.

Duracell PowerSource Mobile 100 [ubergizmo]

Nov 15 2007 G4's AOTS Builds Very Large Arcade Game

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G4's Attack of the Show has built what is being billed as the "world's largest arcade machine". The monster stands over 13-feet tall, has a 70-inch screen, and is one bad mother. It looks like they're playing some 'Rampage', which can be a fun game. But you know what else is fun? Playing 'I'm staring at Olivia Munn's ass until my eyes burn out'. I just finished level 8 and I think I may be blind. I'm sure glad I can type without looking.

Dearest Olivia,

I think we should probably start a relationship. Sure you've probably got a boyfriend, but lets not let him stand in the way of our true love. Give me a call sometime, I'll be waiting patiently by the payphone outside 7-11.

Yours Truly,

The Geekologie Writer

P.S. Two more pictures after the jump, including another one of you.

Continue Reading " G4's AOTS Builds Very Large Arcade Game "

Nov 15 2007 Solid Gold Remote Makes Me Sick, Mad

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Denmark's Lantic Systems have just released a solid f'ing gold remote control that's "designed for operating home media and automation systems including video, audio, internet, CCTV, alarm, lights, curtains, air-conditioning and even navigation systems." It costs -- sit down -- are you seated? $55,000! It doesn't even come with a damn display! OMGWTFBBQ!?!? As an added bonus for anyone that buys one I'm going to throw in a solid suede size 12 up your ass for having too much money and not spending it on booze and hussies like a normal person. Damn I'm spitting mad about this.

solid gold remote costs moe than a lexus [technabob]

Nov 15 2007 Ring Watch Uses Magnetism Instead of LCD

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Okay ladies (and men who like wearing jewelry), here comes a novel ring concept by Charles Windlin, which loosely reminds me of this bad boy. It's a ring watch that uses 1,400 metal balls to tell the time. Each ball has a decorative and magnetic side, and is electrically activated to show the appropriate side to either tell the time or display a message. The creator claims that the ring uses far less energy than an LCD display. You know what else uses far less energy than an LCD display? A sundial. Except when you have to use a flashlight to read it at night. Then you're using batteries.

1,400 billes pour afficher l'heure [geek&hype]

Nov 14 2007 I'd Rock That Wookiee: Chewbacca Backpack

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The Chewbacca Backpack from ThinkGeek is a backpack made from a juvenile Wookiee that was killed and then dyed to look like Chewbacca. They run $40.

There are two extra features the Chewbacca Backpack has to offer. First, his bandoleer bag can hold some smaller accessories such as cables, business cards, or Ewok jerky. And second, there can be no bigger thrill than asking someone if they want to pet your Wookiee.

Well damn if ThinkGeek didn't beat me to the punch. But seriously, Wookiee pets, $1. Ladies?

A couple more views after the jump.

Continue Reading " I'd Rock That Wookiee: Chewbacca Backpack "

Nov 14 2007 Laser Pizza Cutter Not As Cool As It Sounds

Looks like some ass-clowns broke into the laser laboratory again and decided to use the CO2 laser to cut a pizza. While it is neat watching the laser do its thing, the video left a bad taste in my mouth. Mostly because it was shot horribly and the video starts with some dongle setting the scene with a "What they didn't cut our pizza? Bastards." in the most annoying voice I've ever heard. To their credit I did hear some chicks in the background, but I'm afraid to know what they look like. Now I'm not saying these people shouldn't breed, I'm just saying I wish using a laser to cut pizza sterilized everyone in the room.

Video via [ohgizmo]

Nov 14 2007 Roly Poly Shot Glasses Will Spill Your Liquor

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The Roly Poly Shot Glasses Cordial set costs $33 and make your precious liquor wobble around on the table. This is the last thing I need, because I have a hard enough time getting the goodness to my lips without spilling anything, and I'm tired of drinking off the table/floor. Allegedly if you fill them properly they won't spill, but it looks like I may have filled that shot in the front a little too much. Hey! Who the hell keeps leaving their hors d'oeuvres on my table with no napkin? This table is a family heirloom people, my grandmother gave it to me. Get the hell out of my house you disrespectful a-holes! F you all, I'm getting sloshed alone.

Roly Poly Drink Set Falls Very Short of Classy [uberreview]

Nov 14 2007 Stackable Cars May Solve 'Last Mile' Problem

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MIT believes they have come up with an eco-friendly solution to the 'last mile' problem. The 'last mile' refers to the distance you have to walk between your subway stop and your actual destination (i.e. home, work). The idea is to have a network of these small, electric cars stacked outside mass transit systems so commuters can grab them as needed. Instead of an engine they'll have four in-wheel electric motors run by lithium-ion batteries, saving a reasonable amount of space so the cars can be made extra small. They'll have 360 degrees of steering, so you can park the little bastards sideways in spots and maneuver into other small spaces. I'm not sure if something similar with bicycles or electric scooters has ever been attempted, but that may be a consideration as well. Good job MIT, except I invented stackable cars a year ago. And by 'invented stackable cars' I mean 'started a twelve car pile up during rush hour.'

MIT's Stackable City Car [inhabitat]

Thanks to Ben Hur for the tip

Nov 14 2007 Shoe Dryer Prevents Wet and Smelly Shoes

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The Eco Shoes Dryer, from Life In Detail, is a product designed to dry your shoes out if they get wet or if you're gross and your feet sweat (like mine). It’s packed with silica gel (do not eat contents of packet) that absorb moisture. After the gel is saturated you plug it in to remove all the water from the gel so it's ready to go again. A single unit will set you back about $27. I definitely need one, because I have what I like to call "ass-feet". It's basically a condition where your feet smell like complete ass. When I was in college if I didn't like the person sitting in the desk in front of me I'd wear my nasty shoes and slide my feet under their seat. They would be miserable for the rest of the class. And not only that, but everyone around always thought they’d shit their pants.

Eco Shoes Dryer saves the world from chronic foot funk [scifi-tech]

Nov 14 2007 Take Control Of Your Man/Woman Remotes

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The Take Control Remotes are talking remotes that let the man/woman in your life know exactly what they need to be doing. The Control Your Man Remote features 18 different phrases like "Time to listen!", "What about my needs?", "What were you thinking?", and "Just tell me you love me!". The Control Your Woman says stuff like "Zip it!", "All right, hand over the credit cards!", "Yeah baby, do that again!", "Feed me!", and "I'm outta here!". They run on 2 AAs and cost $18 for one, or $30 for both. I bought the Control Your Woman one, and I think some of the buttons are broken. Like all of them except increase spending, decrease cleaning, and decrease sex. The mute button sure as hell doesn't work.

Control Your Man, Woman Talking Remotes For High Tech Verbal Abuse [nerdapproved]

Nov 14 2007 Electric 'Surfboard' Controlled By Bluetooth

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The GroundSurf is an electric "surfboard" from Paris based Ratleads. It looks like a three-wheeled "skateboard", but whatever. They're due out early next year for around $2,000. The board can be controlled by either using the pressure sensitive board (lean forward to accelerate, backward to decelerate) or via Bluetooth on a cell phone. Slide your finger up the cell phone screen to increase speed, and down to decrease. Neat idea as long as your cell phone doesn't screw up. No word on range, etc., but details should be out soon. I considered saving for one before I realized I don't have very good balance. As a matter of fact I'm writing this from the kitchen floor because I fell over and threw my back out reaching for the Pop Tarts.

GroundSurf Electric Skateboard/Surfboard [coolestgadgets]

Nov 14 2007 MP3 Player For Dogs Is Gold, Gaudy, Fugly

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Korean company Innobitz has released the JooZoo, which is a gold and diamond encrusted MP3 player for dogs. It's supposed to "enhance your pet’s physical health and relieve stress through automatic content responding to various pet behaviors." Or make it kill itself if you blast death metal. Currently only available in Korea, it's going worldwide soon with a price tag of $1,500-$2,000. If you're one of those people that paints their dog and dresses them up and shit like that then maybe this is for you. My dog won't be opening one of these on Christmas though. He's getting the same thing he gets every year. Dog food. Maybe some water if he doesn't piss in the house between now and then.

A sexy bitch modeling the unit after the belly rub.

Continue Reading " MP3 Player For Dogs Is Gold, Gaudy, Fugly "

Nov 13 2007 Helium Balloon Lights Are Ridiculous, Mylar

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The World View lighting system from PID are helium balloons that hold up some lights.

The light source consists of 35 ultra strong diodes hanging on a helium balloon, with adjustable floating height. Available in two models, one with cord and one limited edition powered by rechargeable batteries. It's available in white or metallic. The batteries for the limited edition lasts for about 42 hours and the recharging of the batteries take 8 hours. After filling the balloon with helium it will last 2-3 weeks, after that it needs refilling.

They cost $1,000 each. So, um, yeah. You could make some yourself though for about $10. And then buy a helium tank to fill them up when they hit the floor. Although the price of helium is on the rise. That's why I stick to my gas of choice, nitrous oxide. It may not float a balloon but it does makes you feel like you're on a rocket ship in outer space, complete with sound effects.

lighter than air [7gadgets]

Nov 13 2007 Crayon Physics Looks Fun As Hell, I Think

Crayon Physics Deluxe by Kloonigames is a physics based game designed for play on a tablet PC. The object is to get your ball to make contact with the star. You can draw whatever the hell you want, including dongs or whatever, as long as you make it to the star. It looks awesome. I think there's a game kind of like this on the Megatouch machine at the bar, but I've never played it because I'm always too busy with Erotic Photo Hunt, where you try to spot the five differences in two pictures of near-naked women. I do love some physics though. I didn't pass the class with a solid C- for no reason. No sir. I passed because I slept with the professor. He was gross.

Physics Never Looked So Fun [electro-plankton]

Nov 13 2007 LEGO Aliens Scenes Look Pretty Damn Good

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Mike Yoder, a man who loves both LEGO and Aliens made a bunch of LEGO dioramas from scenes in the movie. They look pretty freaking good if you ask me, so props to Mike, especially for the lighting, etc. that give the pictures that movie feel. He's really inspired me to make a few LEGO dioramas of my favorite movies. Which will be a lot simpler. I'm basically just going to need to build a couch or bed, and then to throw in a couple naked LEGO figures. TA-DA -- Brick Lickers From LEGOLAND. Bow chicka bow bow.

I posted a few more pictures after the jump, but be sure to check out the whole gallery if you're into them.

Continue Reading " LEGO Aliens Scenes Look Pretty Damn Good "

Nov 13 2007 Elevator Goes Fast, Makes You Pee Pants

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The Taipei 101 has the fastest elevators in the world, which whisk passengers from the 5th floor to the 89th floor observation deck at a top speed of 37.7 MPH. The trip only takes 37-seconds. The elevators feature triple-stage anti-overshooting systems and high-tech emergency brake systems, but are still scary as hell. I just don't like the idea of being shot out the top of a building at 40 MPH. I'll stick to the stairs -- I need the exercise and it's embarrassing when you pee your pants in front of people.

A video after the break, which is just a monitor showing how fast the elevator is dropping.

Continue Reading " Elevator Goes Fast, Makes You Pee Pants "

Nov 13 2007 Cell Phone Keyboard For Texting Junkies

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The Cre8txt cell phone keyboard is for people who can't type on a regular keyboard because they're so accustomed to texting on a phone that their brains can no longer handle a standard QWERTY keyboard. Even my roommate, who is a hunt and pecker (and a dick), can manage to type quicker than you could on one of these. The thing costs $105. For an extra $85 you can get some software that translates the commonly used cell phone slang. Gr8. Dis hs gt 2 B d dumbest pce o sht evr.

Cr8txt Mobile Cell-Phone Style Keyboard is Costly and Stupid [uberreview]

Nov 13 2007 Luggage Robot Follows You With Your Stuff

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Take a look at the picture. I know what you're thinking, because I thought the same thing when I first saw it. "What the f*** is that?" To my disappointment it turns out to not be a big blue train coming at you, but a luggage robot. A Russian based company will be selling "Tony", the suitcase that follows you, starting in 2009. You carry a card in your pocket and the little bastard follows you around the airport using its robotic brain, internal gyroscope, and all kinds of other detectors and sensors. If someone takes it or your card an alarm goes off. The company is already taking orders, and will gladly take your $2,000, but I'd wait if I was you. I typically don't advise buying an item in advance that only exists as an incredibly shitty drawing in Microsoft Paint.

Note: Yes, that's the real picture they provide.

Robotic Suitcase Follows Owner Around Like R2D2 [therawfeed]

Nov 13 2007 Clam Shell Opener Opens Packages Easily

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The Dual Bladed EZ Clam Shell Opener from ThinkGeek is a device made for opening those annoying-as-hell clamshells that everything I buy seems to come in these days. It'll set you back $5, and in an ironic twist, the "Product comes in clam shell packaging (the last one you'll ever struggle to open!)". Oh the hilarity! Too bad I ordered one a week ago and now it's sitting in a pile with the rest of unopened clam shells. You see, I'm not allowed to use scissors anymore without adult supervision. You stab yourself in the head three times...

Dual Bladed Clam Shell Opener Saves Your Fingers [ohgizmo]

Nov 13 2007 Steampunk Laptop Looks Old, Works

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We've posted steampunk laptops in the past, and while this one doesn't quite have the extreme bad-assness as the first, it does work and can actually be closed and transported easily. I like the key there next to the left wrist-pad, I think that's a nice touch. I bet it unlocks a vintage porn stash, which is awesome. I wish my laptop had one of those, right next to Caps Lock. I love vintage porn. I think. If the women aren't hairy.

Four more pics after the time travel.

Continue Reading " Steampunk Laptop Looks Old, Works "

Nov 12 2007 Man Has Every Super Soaker Ever Made

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There are a lot of pretty stupid things to collect in the world, and Super Soakers is one of them. This is allegedly every model made to date, including small variations. Seeing how most are still in their original packaging, I get the feeling this guy doesn't have too many friends to play water-guns with. Or maybe he's ensuring a high resale value when he sells them to other collectors on eBay. The only problem is there aren't any other collectors, because collecting Super Soakers is ridiculous.

Every Super Soaker Ever [electro-plankton]

Nov 12 2007 Radiator Heater Keeps Your Breakfast Warm

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Designer Byung-seok You came up with this clever little ceremic rack that sits perfectly on top of an old radiator. It's got places to set your coffee and other breakfast items to keep them warm without having to use another heating device. It looks good. Really takes me back to my freshman year in college when I was living in the dorms. We used to set apple and grape juice on the radiator and let it marinate there for a couple months. Radiator Wine we called it. Tasted like pure shit but damn if it didn't get you some drunk.

Radiators Have Other Uses Too [yankodesign]

Nov 12 2007 Brain Mouse Is Ridiculous, Stupid, Gold

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The Brain Gold Mouse is a mouse that loosely resembles a golden brain. It's made by Pat Says Now, features 800 DPI, and costs a staggering $43. Why this product exists is a mystery to me. Because it's stupid as hell. I guess it's for people that want other people to know just how smart they are. Which, if you bought one of these things, is dumber than shit.

Brain Gold Mouse Won't Make you Feel More Intelligent [uberreview]

Nov 12 2007 Boeing 727 Street Legal Limo Doesn't Fly

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You take a 727 jet, throw it down on a Mercedes bus, and TA-DA, a Boeing 727 limo. It runs on the original Mercedes turbo diesel engine and weighs 24,000 pounds fully fueled. It's fairly long, at 53', and has a passenger capacity of about 50 people. All the crap you normally find in a limo is included -- like ceiling mirrors, bar, novelty lighting, televisions, etc. What's not included is the ability to fly. The thing just sold on eBay for $274,100, so it was kind of expensive. The only problem is that even if you do bang a couple hookers in it, you won't receive a Mile High Club membership. Because you're not a mile high. You're like a couple feet high. And maybe high on crack cocaine.

eBay via techeblog

thanks to Jordan, who is cool, for the tip

Nov 12 2007 Solar Powered Arcade Game Wins Award

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Soccermania is a solar powered arcade machine from Polish game manufacturer Kriss-Sports. It won some award for using green technology at an amusement machine expo held last month.

Soccermania features solar panels and a rechargeable battery, and does not require any other type of power source to function. The model shown at Surexpo had a hard solar panel; however Kriss-Sport stated that this may be changed to a solar panel made out of elastic foil. The batteries used in Soccermania are used to load the accumulator, which is able to power the machine for anywhere from 12 to 48 hours.

Yeah. It's a solar powered soccer game. So it, uh, needs sunlight to work. And where does sunlight come from? Outside. Where, get this -- you can play real soccer.

Soccermania awarded at SUREXPO 2007 [highwaygames]

thanks to Lukasz for the tip

Nov 9 2007 Tesla Coils Playing Super Mario Bros Theme

There have been musical Tesla coils in the past (even ones that play part of the Super Mario Bros theme from the underworld), but until now I've never seen two together playing the entire Super Mario theme.

The music that you hear is coming from the sparks that these two identical high power solid state Tesla coils are generating. There are no speakers involved. The Tesla coils stand 7 feet tall and are each capable of putting out over 12 foot of spark. They are spaced about 18 feet apart. The coils are controlled over a fiber optic link by a single laptop computer. Each coil is assigned to a midi channel which it responds to by playing notes that are programmed into the computer software.

They play at over 110 dB, making them pretty f'ing loud. I wish I could play Super Mario Bros that loud, but I'm working with a 13" TV and only one of the built-in speakers works. Ghetto you say? No sir. Ghetto is buying a used conversion van and parking it outside your apartment to use as a "honeymoon suite" where the kids can't disturb you. Not that I did that or anything. Except I did.

Everyone have a great weekend and don't work too hard.

Youtube

thanks to Frank, Billy Avenue, and my Personal Jesus Robot for the tips

Nov 9 2007 Cell Phone Pen Coming Soon, Getting Lost Soon After (Plus A Fun Fill In The Blank!)

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Allegedly an employee of an undisclosed company that has been working on development of this phone sent some info to Gizmodo so that the company could "gauge interest in such a device". Well knowing how bonkers people are over cell phones, I imagine people will want it. Real bad. Not much more info except the two circles on the side of the unit are the earpiece and receiver. So, yeah. Some jerk with Photoshop probably made this as a prank. But if not I only have one important question. Does it write? I bet these bastards made a pen phone and forgot to put ink in it. How worthless! What good is a pen-shaped phone that doesn’t write? No good! Unless you...[fill in the blank]

i.e. [set it to vibrate and ram it up your ass]

Pen Phone Design is Smallest Yet [gizmodo]

Nov 9 2007 Mod My Life Website Has Awesome Potential

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Modmylife is an awesome website. Basically someone in New York City has got a video camera and internet connection and walks around doing what you tell them to. Everyone online at the time makes suggestions, and then votes. The winning suggestion is what the person must do. You can read some of the suggestions there in the picture. They currently have predetermined times to log in (the next "show" is 8:00 tonight, Friday), but they hope to have people out 24/7 in the near future. I suggest everyone schedule a time to meet on the website so we can sway the vote with an incredible Geekologie presence. That way we'll be voting on actions like "punch that hooker", “make out with the bag-lady” and "throw yourself in front of a bus" instead of the typical boring suggestions.


New Site Lets You Control Real Person in NYC [therawfeed]

Nov 9 2007 USB Engine Hub Makes 'Awesome' Noise



You may remember the SolidAlliance (maker of the infamous sushi flash-drives) USB Engine Hub from awhile ago, and now we've finally scored some video of that mother in action.

Based on the design of a Motorbike Engine, the USB Engine Hub, is a 2.0 3 port USB Hub which not only look nice but ALSO provides you with an amazing engine noise.

Now why didn't I think of that? That's exactly what my USB hub has been missing -- engine styling and "amazing" noise. Watch the video after the jump to see the sucker in action. I will admit it's cool, but I bet after awhile the noise becomes less "awesome" and more "annoying as shit".

USB Engine Hub Sounds the Part, Not Streetable [techeblog]

Nov 9 2007 Venomsnow Switchboard Is Questionable

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Venomsnow Switchboards look like they were made for handicapped people. And based on that guy in the picture, I'm even more convinced.

The Switchboard features two short woodcore boards joined end-to-end on a double hinge, with lightweight footstraps on top, twin skates underneath the rear board, and an aluminum steering bar on a pogo stick-like suspension unit mounted on the front board.

All the pictures available of this thing feature the goofiest bastards alive riding them. Good luck selling any, unless your target demographic is halfwit ass-clowns. Which it probably is.

Another dork catching some air after the jump, along with a demonstration video and a 70's porn-style commercial.

Continue Reading " Venomsnow Switchboard Is Questionable "

Nov 9 2007 Radio Controlled Knight Rider KITT Car, Sweet

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Finally, your own KITT car, just 1/15 scale. The Knight Industries Two Thousand R/C car comes complete with headlights, flashing red sensor in front, some speech capabilities, and even a "turbo boost" feature. One will set you back around $62, but they're currently sold out because I bought them all. I'm still trying to perfect my "driving the car up a ramp into the back of an 18-wheeler" maneuver. Unfortunately about all I can do is drive the car under the back wheels of an 18-wheeler. I've gone through 20 of these things already. Where's the Hoff when you need him? Oh, right, passed out drunk.

Video after the car jump.

Continue Reading " Radio Controlled Knight Rider KITT Car, Sweet "

Nov 9 2007 Guinness Commercial Makes Me Thirsty

Well it's Friday so I've got beer on my brain (and in the bloodstream). Guinness has just started running their newest commercial, which is the most expensive for them to date. They contracted the world record holder in domino toppling 'Weijers Domino Productions' from the Netherlands for all the pandemonium.

The commercial was directed by Nicolai Fuglsig of Sony Bravia 'Balls' fame, and is a celebration of community. The advert was shot on location in a remote side village called Iruya, in the Salta region of northern Argentina, with a population of around 1,000 people. Toppling items included: 6,000 dominoes, 10,000 books, 400 tyres, 75 mirrors, 50 fridges, 45 wardrobes and 6 cars.

Now that was a good commercial. And from the look of things those people in the village really love themselves some Guinness. Now I'm not going to go as far as to say I'm moving there, but I did just buy a one-way ticket on Expedia and I've already got my bags packed. Who needs a clean water supply anyways when you live in a village with a serious stockpile of Guinness. Not I.

Guinness Ad - Tipping Point [youtube]

thanks to Ranney, a man who loves good beer and beautiful women

Nov 9 2007 F-1 Car Lawnmower Cuts Grass, Hauls Ass

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Kadeg Boucher of France developed this F-1 inspired concept mower. It's a lawnmower that looks like a little F-1 racecar. At first I thought it was remote controlled, which would have been bad-to-the-ass but it's a push mower. It still looks fast though doesn't it? You probably have to run behind it to keep up. It's even got an LCD gauge display on the push-handle. The only thing it's missing? A cup holder. Who the hell mows the lawn without drinking beer? I modded my push mower with two cup holders and I pull a cooler of beer behind me. I can go from 0 to wasted in 1/4 acre.

Two more pics after the jump, including one from behind.

Continue Reading " F-1 Car Lawnmower Cuts Grass, Hauls Ass "

Nov 8 2007 The Solar Bug Solar Car Becomes Reality

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The Solar Bug is an electric car that has solar panels on top capable of recharging its batteries (lead acid based) to increase the car’s range by 1/3. The company hopes to be able to make the car run 100% on solar energy in the future. It's got a top speed of 35 mph, a range of 60 miles, and takes 4-6 hours to recharge via plug (for a cost of 30-60¢). It weighs 900 pounds and will go for around $9,500 when it hits the road next year. This thing really reminds me of the first car I had in high school. Well if you want to get technical it wasn't so much a car as a refrigerator box I painted to look like a Firebird. Semantics. The point is that they are both yellow. I never got laid in that box, but the seniors would throw eggs at me when I sat in it making 'VROOM VROOM' noises.

One more picture (a real photo, but poor resolution) after the drive.

Continue Reading " The Solar Bug Solar Car Becomes Reality "

Nov 8 2007 Stripping Weathergirl: No Movement In Pants

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The Weathergirl Weather Station ($70) is a home weather station that features the time, temperature, and humidity. It also features a scantily clad weathergirl that gets down to a bikini if it's hot enough. YOW YOW! I don't know what she wears if it's freezing out, because these were the only pictures available. Maybe she's content with a mini-dress in the winter. I know I am. On women -- not me silly. Now if the damn Weather Channel would take a hint and start dressing their weathergirls a little more like this one maybe I'd start tuning in instead of getting the weather online.

Stripping Weathergirl Weather Station [coolest-gadgets]

Nov 8 2007 FOLED Bookmark: Read At Night, Little Light

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The Mark bookmark just won the Red Dot Award for best design concept in 2007 so it may be available soon. It's a bookmark embedded with FOLEDs (flexible organic light emitting diodes) so that you can read in the dark by setting it on your book. The brightness level can be controlled, and the units use very little energy. I think it's a great idea. I've been reading with a flashlight for years now. Not because my girlfriend cares if I have a lamp on (she gets no say anyways), but because I can't stand seeing the beast out of the corner of my eye when I'm trying to read. She's ugly folks.

Midnight Bookworms Rejoice [yankodesign]

Nov 8 2007 Bed + Couch + Round = Scoop Bed?

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Saba Italia's Scoop Bed is actually two couches during the day, but at night it gets its Transformer on and turns into a big round bed. You have to contact for a price, but let's be honest, nobody's getting one, so who cares. It'll be expensive, we'll leave it at that. While I'll never have one, I do want one. That way when lady friends spend the night I'll tell them they can have either the bed or the couch. Little do they know they're the same thing. We'll be sleeping together! I'm going to touch a knocker!

Sure you could do the same thing with any regular fold-out sofabed, but that lacks class. Probably wouldn't get to touch a yam for that.

Circular Sofabed [core77]

Nov 8 2007 Web 2.0 Social Network T-Shirt: Very Dorky

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The Web 2.0 shirt has a list of all the popular social networking sites. You use a permanent marker to check off all the sites you belong to. Then you're supposed to wear it out and let everyone know just how geeky you really are. So what if your friend list is empty on all the sites, there's no space to write that in anyway. I made a similar shirt for myself that has the one social group I belong to: my biker gang. While we don't really make friends or network, we do stomp heads and ride our hogs drunk. Very similar concepts though.

The whole list after the jump.

Continue Reading " Web 2.0 Social Network T-Shirt: Very Dorky "

Nov 8 2007 Your Own Dinosaur Park Is Near Completion

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Okay first this guy was available, then these, and now (drum roll please) the T-Rex. Oh shit my friends, oh shit. They stand around 43 feet long, 18 feet high, and will set you back a Jurassic $60,000. While the t-rex may be life-size, it certainly doesn't look too life-like. I want realism people, I drew better dinosaurs in the margins of my notebooks in middle school. A t-rex just isn't a t-rex until it has a stick figure of your math teacher hanging out of its bloodied jaws.

One more close-up of the face after the bite.

Continue Reading " Your Own Dinosaur Park Is Near Completion "

Nov 8 2007 Man Builds LEGO Air Conditioner

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Nathan Sawaya, a man who makes a living building LEGO stuff made a life-size replica of a Carrier brand air conditioner for their convention last year. Then, not to be out done, Bryant Air Conditioning commissioned him to do the same thing for their convention. And he agreed! What a schmuck. How about some air conditioner company loyalty, Nathan? This guy probably has two LEGO brick girlfriends at home and doesn't even have the common courtesy to put one in the closet so she can't see when he's banging the other.

One more of the inside after the jump. Note: The fan actually turns. Whee.

Continue Reading " Man Builds LEGO Air Conditioner "

Nov 8 2007 CD Tesla Turbine Nutcase Is At It Again

"Mr. Fix It" Rick is at it again, this time attempting to carve a pumpkin with his CD Tesla Turbine. He uses compressed air to power the thing, and has modified the turbine from last time to ensure a bit more safety. The damn video is almost 9 minutes long so I recommend just jumping around -- you'll get the idea. And the idea is that you could carve a pumpkin better by throwing knives at it. As a matter of fact, my dog carved a better pumpkin for Halloween this year, and all he did was eat the damn thing when I wasn't looking.

Tesla CD Turbine vs. Pumpkin [boingboing]

Nov 7 2007 Home Inspecting Robot Checks For Cracks

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Sanyo developed this conceptual robot to check out the foundations of homes in Japan and make sure there's no structural damage or other problems. It goes on sale next year for less than $8,850. Which means it's in the $0.01 - $8,849.99 price range. Probably closer to the high end. It's called the 'Yuka Shita Inspection robot'. Which pisses me off, because I was just about to develop Yuka Shita brand toilet bowl cleanser.

Sanyo comes up with conceptual robot [ubergizmo]

Nov 7 2007 Glass And Steel Whirlpool Tub Is Luxurious

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The Whirlpool Glass Bathtub is a real treat. It's got sixteen jets, can accommodate two people, and is totally see-through. They run $3,199 and are worth every penny. I've had one since they first came out, and I'm 100% happy with the purchase. The only problem is my wife came into the bathroom one day during my bath-time. She asked if I was eating Cheetos in the tub. "Cheetos? Cheetos?!! Woman that's my penis, GET OUT OF HERE!"

Whirlpool Glass Bathtub, That's What I'm Talking About [uberreview]

Nov 7 2007 Pop-Up Book Of Lights: A Hit For The Illiterate

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The Book Of Lights is a pop-up LED lamp cleverly disguised as a linen-bound hardcover book. You open that shit up and POP!, an LED lamp. They come in traditional lampshade and Parisian streetlamp models, and run a staggering $95. Pretty expensive for some paper, a battery, and some LEDs, but it is a neat concept. Throw in a monster face with red LEDs and a prerecorded blood-curdling scream, and you've got something I'd read to the kids before bed. The little bastards.

Book Of Lights Is A Light In A Book [ohgizmo]

Nov 7 2007 Smash One Of These Bastards On Your Head

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Lei Xue, a Chinese artist, has taken porcelain to the next level with these awesome life-size beer cans. I like how they're realistically crumpled, the artist definitely has a fine eye for quality can reproduction. Just don't try smashing one of these against your forehead. Because it'll probably hurt. Bad. I really dig the detail of these things. Based on a study of the image, I'd say the beer is 'Chinese Man With Sword' brand, which I've never tried but would like to.

Site [thanks to Nick, a man who appreciates the finer things in life, for the tip]

Nov 7 2007 Best Campaign Commercial EVER EVER

Above is the best campaign commercial ever made -- and yes, it's real. It was made last year in Rockingham County, North Carolina for a seat on the Board of Education. The dude didn't win, but he did get 4,648 votes from people who obviously know what the hell is up with politics. May the force be with this man. I think he may be retarded.

Youtube [thanks to Raúl, a man who can win any election, for the tip]

Nov 7 2007 Dog Washing Machine Will Scare Your Pet

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I know dog washing machines have existed for awhile, but this one is apparently the cream of the crop, costing over $30,000. Why does it cost so much? Hell if I know, maybe it's the color scheme. An operator oversees the machine closely to ensure your pet is comfortable during their bath. You can tell from those two pictures on the left that the dog is really loving the experience. No way is he thinking "get me out of this piece of shit this instant". No sir, this is like being pampered at a spa to him. Although -- notice how there are no "after" pictures of the clean dog out of the machine? Turns out when the wash was over he killed everyone in the room. Good boy.

UPDATE: Video added after the jump. Watch the last 1/2 for a cat going absolutely ape-shit in the machine.

Continue Reading " Dog Washing Machine Will Scare Your Pet "

Nov 7 2007 Pressure Sensitive Table Lights Up, Is Thin

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The pressure-sensitive DeLighTable lights up when you rub your hand across it. If you set down a glass the drink will glow from beneath. The actual surface is only 2 cm thick and runs on 12 volts of energy. They're made to order from KLOSS and start at $2,300. There's a video demonstration after the jump, but it leaves something to be desired. It kind of reminds me of my friend's pressure-sensitive table. It was made out of wood, and was pressure sensitive to car keys and pocket knives. Very long lasting. I bet some of my best penis doodles are still visible to this day.
Video after the touch.

Continue Reading " Pressure Sensitive Table Lights Up, Is Thin "

Nov 7 2007 Candlelight Lamp: You'll Lose The Matchstick

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The Hono Candlelight is a 10" tall lamp that lights up at the top when you touch it with the "magical matchstick". To turn it off you blow on it. Pretty clever. Except you're going to lose the matchstick. Then it magically transforms from a $64 novelty lamp into a $64 flat-ended dildo.

One more picture of a bunch of them after the jump.

Continue Reading " Candlelight Lamp: You'll Lose The Matchstick "

Nov 6 2007 Caffeine Necklace: Face It, You're Addicted

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For all of you out there that can't function in the morning without a cup of coffee, consider the Caffeine Molecule Necklace. It doesn't actually inject the pure goodness directly into your bloodstream (although it should), but it does let everyone around you know you're addicted (if they know what the hell a caffeine molecule looks like). It's 1.5" wide and both it and the chain are sterling silver. It runs $85, which is more than I expected. You have to be careful with stuff like this though. It could actually be the molecule for something like meth or coke. Like this Chinese tattoo I got on my ass-cheek. The dude swore it meant "100% Tough Guy", but it turns out it actually reads "Enter Here".

Caffeine in a Necklace [uberreview]

Nov 6 2007 Make A Life-Size Jabba The Hutt Puppet

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Want to make your own life-size Jabba the Hutt puppet? I don’t, but maybe you do. If so there’s a tutorial online at Star Wars Crafts. You get to use all sorts of fun crap like irrigation tubing, mattress padding, PVC, and LOTS of glue. If you do everything right you end up with a mediocre looking Jabba puppet capable of being controlled by two people. I know I said earlier that I didn’t want to make one, but maybe if a few of you ladies out there volunteered to be my chained Princess Leias I would reconsider. Any takers? No? Screw this project. I hate crafts anyway.

A few more pictures and a video after the jump.

Continue Reading " Make A Life-Size Jabba The Hutt Puppet "

Nov 6 2007 Reebok Timetanium: A Math Nerd's Dream

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John Maeda, of MIT Media Lab fame got together with Reebok (not sexually) to develop a new shoe. John is well known (by some) for his math and design skills, and the resulting shoe, the Timetanium, is the resulting hybrid of these two fields. Only 100 pairs are being made, and they'll be available through the Reebok Custom website on November 13th. They feature some unique styling and John's handwritten notes printed on the interior. No word on price, because when I tried to look it up my computer exploded, meaning they'll be expensive. I just love that name, the Timetanium. Such a clever combination of time and titanium. Kind of like the code-name of my nudey mag stash, the Empornium. See what I did there? I combined the word emporium with porn to make a clever name. The wife will never catch on. "Don't mind me dear, just running down to the empornium for a little five finger discount. *snicker, snicker*"

Two more pics after the running jump.

Continue Reading " Reebok Timetanium: A Math Nerd's Dream "

Nov 6 2007 Twins Develop Wedgie-Proof Underwear

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8-year-old twins Jared and Justin, tired of being bullied, have developed wedgie-proof underwear, the Rip-Away 1000s. This may be the greatest internet video of all time, those poor little bastards. It may also be the saddest. You just have to watch. The only problem is, I failed to hear any mention of swirlie-proof heads, indicating these kids still have plenty years of torture ahead of them.

Video after the jump, along with my favorite lines.

Continue Reading " Twins Develop Wedgie-Proof Underwear "

Nov 6 2007 Drunk Driving: V8 Powered Barstools

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Featured at SEMA 2007, these Hossfly V8 Barstools are exactly what they sound like. Unless you were thinking they were made from a tomato-based beverage that tastes like ass. If you were thinking that you were wrong. I'm talking engines here. I want one. Oh, and the steering wheel should have a cocktail table attachment for when you're parked. Just make sure to clear the table and stow it before taking off. Otherwise you'll have to explain to police why you were driving a barstool and cocktail table loaded with drinks down the sidewalk with no lights on. Which isn't easy.

A video of them in action after the jump, which allegedly doesn't give an accurate portrayal of the noise these things crank out.

Continue Reading " Drunk Driving: V8 Powered Barstools "

Nov 6 2007 Great Wheel of China Ferris Wheel Is Huge

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China is constructing the world's largest Ferris Wheel. It was supposed to be ready for the summer games, but apparently won't open until 2009. It will have 48 separate gondola-like pods, each capable of holding 40 passengers (for a total of 1920 people at one time!), and will reach a maximum height of 680 feet. Making it significantly taller than any other. I'm just hoping a ride isn't as painful as watching this thing. Now I'm not recommending you jump out of this Ferris Wheel at its max height, I'm just saying I know a kid that got a year pass to Disney for falling out of Space Mountain.

World's tallest Ferris Wheel coming up in China [newlaunches]

Nov 6 2007 Magazine Holding Wastebasket For The Can

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Designer Stephen Hauser aka Snowtone has created the Snowtone Wastebasket. It's a trashcan for the bathroom that holds a magazine on top, so you can read hands-free. It was designed because resting a magazine on your lap makes your penis disappear. Sure it's just on the other side of a magazine, but I for one like to keep visual contact with my unit at all times, lest he try to escape his beating.

Snowtone Wastebasket [dash-dash]

Nov 6 2007 Huff And Puff: Breath Powered USB Charger

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Someone on instructables has posted DIY instructions on how to create a 'Breath Powered USB Charger'. It actually works on the movement of your chest when breathing, and not exhaled air.

Using some parts scavenged from an old CD-ROM drive, a simple electronic circuit, and a few rubber bands you will soon be huffing and puffing your way to fully-charged pseudo-useful electronic gadget nirvana.
You strap this thing around your chest, and the system uses the slight chest expansion while breathing to get some gears turning, and eventually, a small charge generated. If you wear one to work tell people it's responsible for keeping a "very serious condition" from killing you. Then they'll bring you all sorts of "get well" cookies/flowers/balloons. You take these, discard the cards, and give them to your girlfriend back home. Tell her you love her (even if you don't), and hope for sex. Breath Powered USB Charger and Sex Generator.


Breath Powered USB Charger [instructables]

Nov 5 2007 Man Sells Massive Video Game Collection

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A video game fanatic is selling his entire collection of systems and games on ebay, that represent 30+ years of gaming. There are 1,768 items included in the auction. There are also several copies of many systems (so if you buy it you can send me the extra). The following are just the systems included.

The following systems are represented in this auction: Atari 2600, Atari 7800, Atari Jaguar, Atari Lynx, Coleco ColecoVision, Coleco Gemini, Coleco Telstar, Commodore 64/128, GCE Vectrex, Mattel Aquarius, Mattel Intellivision, Mattel Odyssey 2, Microsoft Xbox, Microsoft Xbox 360, APF TV Fun, Miscellaneous Handheld Games, Miscellaneous PC Games, SC Eight Thousand, Sega Pods, Miscellaneous TV Games, NEC Turbo Duo, Nintendo DS, Nintendo Game Boy Advance, Nintendo GameCube, Nintendo NES, Nintendo Nintendo 64, Nintendo Super NES, Nintendo Virtual Boy, Nintendo Wii, Sega Dreamcast, Sega Game Gear, Sega Genesis, Sega Master System, Sega Saturn, SNK Neo Geo, SNK Neo Geo Pocket, Sony Playstation, Sony Playstation 2, Texas Instruments TI 99/4A, VM Labs Nuon.

The ebay auction page couldn't hold all the info, check out this page for pictures and an entire listing of what's included. He estimates the value of everything at $14,639, and has a Buy It Now price set at $10,979. Shipping will run another $1,533! The current bid is $2,225 with 4 days and 19 hours remaining.

I'm very happy to see this guy moving on with his life past video games and finally hoping to go out there and score with a lady. You can tell he hasn't because the pictures strongly suggest he lives in his mother's basement. Now I'm not saying he hasn't had sex before, I'm just saying he is so far from ever having sex before he has no idea what his penis is.

A few more pictures after the jump, but check the link in the text for a ton more.

Continue Reading " Man Sells Massive Video Game Collection "

Nov 5 2007 USB Lighter Has KOOL Design, No Flame

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Nathan Gabriele has conceptualized a USB device that can light cigarettes without the use of a flame, using resistance coils (like car lighters) instead. It would contain a battery cell that would be good for a number of uses, and could be recharged via USB. He also threw in some flash memory, just for shits and giggles. Not the worst thing I've ever seen, although why you'd design it to look like a Zippo with a KOOL logo on the side makes absolutely no sense. The logical choice would have been something that looked like a breast (complete with nipple) and had a rubber texture. Come on designers, just because it's a lighter doesn't mean it has to look like one. Think outside the box.


Flameless Rechargeable USB Lighter [yankodesign]

Nov 5 2007 USB Retro Vacuum Has No Attachments

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The USB Desk Vacuum Cleaner is a USB powered vacuum cleaner that can (allegedly) suck up dust and crumbs from your desk. They run $34 from bimbambanana and come in that awesome brown and tan color combo. According to the product page, "With classic retro style, you can suck your way to success!" Now I happen to know all about sucking your way to success, because that's why I'm the famous actress I am today, and never was there any "classic retro style" involved. You can totally do it without that.

Product Page [thanks to Chloe, a woman who takes cleaning seriously, for the tip]

Nov 5 2007 Electric Cruiser Makes You Not Look Cool

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The Electric Cruiser from Mademoto is a wheel that runs on a battery so you can pull yourself around when you're on rollerblades, roller-skates, Heelys, or whatever-the-hell else is out there. It's basically an electric scooter with nothing to stand on (and no cooler). I can't tell if that guy in the picture is about to fall or attempting some sort of trick with the damn thing. Either way, he's not looking too cool is he? Note: if you buy one and find yourself jogging behind it, you've probably missed the purpose of the product.

Electric Cruiser [7gadgets]

Nov 5 2007 Expensive Corkscrew Is Very Unimpressive

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The Sveid corkscrew "is made out of aviation-grade titanium and features an 18-carat gold finger-hold. It's a dual action opener, with a wind-around motion to remove the cork's covering and then your standard drill-down, pull-up movement to snag the cork free." Nothing special here minus some titanium and gold. What will the bastard set you back you ask? Try $70,000! Holy shit, you say? Holy shit, I reply. If you have the money and are thinking about getting one please fire me off an email with your home address so I can come rob you blind. You deserve it.


Flashy Sveid corkscrew is gold, titanium, and costs more than your wine cellar [scifiblog]

Nov 5 2007 The Gamerator Makes My Privates Feel Funny

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Last week I posted a very professional Fridge/Kegerator Combo, and now I'm ramping it up a notch. Introducing the Gamerator! It's is an arcade game cabinet with a chilled kegerator in the rear that holds a 1/4 keg. It comes preloaded with 187 classic games, and even has built in cupholders. They're on sale via ebay, and the bidding starts at $2,000. My only complaint with the unit is the capacity of the silver overflow collector. You know, because I'm going to be peeing in it a lot.

UPDATE: In reference to the title, I can now officially state the system has given me a full fledged (3 1/4") boner.

One more picture after the jump.

Continue Reading " The Gamerator Makes My Privates Feel Funny "

Nov 5 2007 MII Flashcam: Flashlight And Video Unite

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The MII Flashcam incorporates a 85,000-candle-power LED flashlight with a video camera. It even has a night-vision mode with infrared emitter. It costs $1,500, and is marketed to police organizations. According to local legend, the unit was created when a police officer's Maglite was left in a cruiser one evening and it banged the dash-mounted camera in a lusty one night stand.

MII Flashcam: Tactical Flashlight with Built-In Camera [boingboing]

Nov 5 2007 NY Jedi Academy Teaches Light Sabering

The NY Jedi Academy is kind of what it sounds like -- it's a school in New York that teaches nerds how to swing fake light sabers around like idiots. The founder talks about "hero-building", which was weird because I didn't see a single person in the video capable of lifting a truck off an elderly lady. Regardless, how can you call yourself a Jedi school with no classes in mind tricks? Wielding a light saber is easy, I'm trying to trick babes at the bar into sleeping with me.

NY Jedi via [neatorama]

Thanks to Raul for the tip, a man far too cool for this shit.

Nov 2 2007 LED Rims: No Car Is Complete Without Them

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Pimpstar has had their static image LED rims out for over a year now, and now LED Wheels is stepping it up a notch with a line of full motion LED rims, because, well, because.

Enter LED Wheels, a company that envisions a world with flashing graphics, customized designs and even adverts for Macy's Labor Day Sale rotating on your rims. The screen in the rim's center looks to be about seven to eight inches wide and remains upright while the wheel rotates around it.

Seeing how the Pimpstars were between $12,000-$20,000 a set, these things are going to cost a fortune. Wait a minute. Did that quote up there mention a Macy's Labor Day Sale? Where in the shit did that come from? If LED Wheels is imagining a world with Macy's advertisements on rims, I'm imagining myself dropping a toaster into the tub the next time I take a bath.

A very, very disappointing video of the suckers after the jump (Note: Don't demo your wheels with a crappy-ass, locally made Chrysler commercial on them).

Continue Reading " LED Rims: No Car Is Complete Without Them "

Nov 2 2007 Man Files Patent For Taser-Proof Clothing

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The picture above is a diagram from an Arizona man's US Patent application showing his taser-proof clothing. Or if you want to get technical it's the patent for an "energy weapon protection device". It's basically conductive and non-conductive material in layers that prevent an electric charge from ever reaching the body -- because yelling "Don't tase me, bro!" just doesn't work. This stuff wouldn't be such a bad idea if you get tased on a regular basis, and if you had pants and a mask made out of the same material. While a jacket is a good start, you don't want to be zapped in the face and/or testicles because the coppers find out you're wearing a tase-proof jacket.

TASER-Proof Gear is Great for Students, Political Activists, Criminals [gizmodo]

Nov 2 2007 Batter Blaster Is Amazing, Picture Says So

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The picture says it all folks, "Amazing". Batter Blaster is aerosol pancake/waffle mix that you squirt directly from the can onto the griddle. You'll have hot and fluffy-ass pancakes lickity split, without the annoyance of having to add water to a dry mix and stirring. Leave that to the 1900's, we're living in the 2000's now people. That's right, we eat shit out of aerosol cans. I'm just hoping that Batter Blaster follows in the footsteps of E-Z Cheese and makes their product delicious enough to squirt straight into the mouth. Mmmm, pancake batter.

Batter Blaster: Pancakes in a Can [boingboing]

Nov 2 2007 Charcoal Toothpaste Looks Like Sludge

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Charcle is a Korean charcoal based toothpaste. It is black, looks like sludge, and probably doesn't taste like licorice. A DesignNotes tester had the following to say about the product:

This morning I tried it for the first time, the experience ended up being less pleasant then I first thought it would be. I was fine seeing the black stuff on my brush, it wasn’t until it went into my mouth when my stomach started to turn. Near the end I barely could brush my tongue and when I spit it out to rinse I felt a bit queazy. In the end though my mouth did feel clean, but I’m not sure if the weirdness that I felt would be something I’d want to do again.

So there, it's surprisingly unpleasant. Never would have guessed that. Now from what I remember (which is very little) I think charcoal is what they use to pump my stomach when I've "had too much to drink". Whatever that means. Just because you're caught humping a parking meter doesn't mean you've "had too much to drink". No sir. It just means you have fine taste in quarter receptacles. And trust me, parking meters are some of the best -- right up there with arcade games and old cigarette vending machines.

Charcoal Toothpaste - Just About The Worst Thing I've Seen All Week [ohgizmo]

Nov 2 2007 Beer Fridge Looks Good, I Want One Badly

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It's a glorified kegerator, but damn does it look fine. The HomePub Refridgerator/Freezer is a quality cooling unit from Scandinavian manufacturer Asko. It's available in Europe right now for around $1,000 and is coming to the US soon. Who needs an ice and water dispenser in the door when you can have cold beer? Not I. Oh, the sad part -- it only holds those little 5 liter pony kegs (with one hooked up in the door). :( But that's not stopping me, just look at that guy in the picture. I want to be him. You get up in the morning, slip on your gaudy wedding ring after kicking out your mistress, throw a roast in the oven for lunch, grab the paper, and a nice cold breakfast beer. Now that, my friends, is living the life.

One more picture of the inside after the jump.

Continue Reading " Beer Fridge Looks Good, I Want One Badly "

Nov 2 2007 The British Develop An 'Invisible' Tank

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The British have allegedly developed an 'invisible' tank that will be ready for service by 2012. Basically the technology "uses cameras and projectors to beam images of the surrounding landscape onto a tank." While I can understand that it will probably be better than paint, I get the feeling it will only look 'invisible' if you're looking at it from the exact perfect angle. And obviously the picture above isn't real. The man behind the dream is the Ministry of Defense's Professor Sir John Pendry, who said the only real drawback was the reliability of the cameras and projectors. He then added "The next stage is to make the tank invisible without them - which is intricate and complicated, but possible." Proving beyond shadow of a doubt that the whole project is indeed run by a crackpot.

Army tests James Bond style tank that is 'invisible' [dailymail]

thanks to David, the man James Bond was modeled after, for the tip

Nov 2 2007 All Glass Sinks Are Very Clear, See Through

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The IKS vanity from Lasa Idea, an Italian bathroom-stuff manufacturer, is a single piece of molded glass. Which makes it a very clear sink indeed. They're available now if you have a ton of money to spend remodeling a vessel that's primarily used for washing your hands after holding your ding-a-ling. I almost ordered one, but then I realized guests would be able to see the porno stash I keep under the sink. I'm not ashamed or anything, it's just that some people aren't progressive enough to fully appreciate my "Sex With Electronics" fetish mags.

Contemporary vanity from Lasa Idea - the IKS vanity [trendir]

Nov 2 2007 Steampunk Pac-Gentleman Is Pretty Sweet

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Doktor A, the artist/sculptor responsible for this awesomely awesome steampunk creation has titled it "The Secret History of Video Games: Pac Gentleman". He also provides an explanation of the game.

When this game was first released in 1880 it was so hugely popular in taverns and inns that the bank of England was forced to mint more threepenny bits to keep up with demand. The game was created by messrs Nam & Nam and Co. as a novelty pastime for the masses. Outdoing the previous top public house game of Shove Ha’penny.

So there you have it, straight from the good doktor's mouth. He is one clever bastard, I'll tell you that. Who would have thought ol' Pac would look so good in a bowler hat? And the mustaches on the ghosts, divine. I wish I could grow one like that, but alas, I'm just a hairless prepubescent boy.

One more picture after the jump.

Continue Reading " Steampunk Pac-Gentleman Is Pretty Sweet "

Nov 1 2007 Levitation Is Probably Result Of Black Magic

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Crealev, a Netherlands based company, has developed a way to "levitate an open platform with whatever you want on top to a significant height in a stable and resilient way." No word on how it works, but it's allegedly inexpensive (although I find that hard to believe) and requires little power (0.5-0.8 watts for the items in the video). They're just taking custom orders now, but plan to have a line of products available in the future. I actually finished submitting a custom order before writing this, and I just wrote "me" as the object I want levitated. Magic baby! That ass-clown Criss Angel doesn't have shit on this guy.

A very short video of some levitation after the jump.

UPDATE: Another video demonstration added as well.

Continue Reading " Levitation Is Probably Result Of Black Magic "

Nov 1 2007 Roulette Rims Are Dumb, The World Is Ending

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I knew it was only a matter of time, and now that time has run out. Introducing the Roulette Wheel Rims, by Lenso, coming soon to a rap video near you.

Lenso created these unique roulette wheel rims and if you're not swayed by the black and red numbers around the outer edge, maybe the Louis Vuitton leather finish in the middle might sell you. Even the company's name has been spelled out in oh-so-tasteful rhinestones if for some reason you're not getting the whole 'Las Vegas' theme here.

Leather on your rims, great combo. It's official folks, the end is near. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are right around the corner and waiting to swoop in and kill us all. Well at least anyone that would consider these things (this guy is a likely candidate). Okay, maybe I'm being a little harsh. Wait, *looks again* no, no I'm not.

Roulette Wheel Makes your Car Think It's In Vegas [techeblog]

Nov 1 2007 New Dice Make Computer Diagnosis Easy

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PC Dice are a sophisticated diagnostic tool used to determine the current problem with your computer. They run $27 for the set of three dice. You just give them a good roll, and presto -- your problem reveals itself.

The green die has the words Virus, Spyware, Modem, Video, Network and Reboot. The blue die comes with Install, New PC, Upgrade, No Idea, Quit and $$, and the red die features Windows, Unix, Linux, Wireless, Wired and Mix.

Now I'm not saying that these work better than the real IT department, but they definitely do. Their archaic method of spinning a big wheel with computer problems listed on it is simply no match for this technological breakthrough.

A painful video demonstration after the video.

Continue Reading " New Dice Make Computer Diagnosis Easy "

Nov 1 2007 Chair Is Very Cool, Takes Up A Lot Of Room

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I've seen chairs like this before, but never on this scale. The Loopita, by designer Victor Aleman, is constructed from a single piece of red oak and covered with high density foam for your sitting pleasure. The picture above actually shows three units put together, each one alone is a single loop, capable of comfortably seating two people. No word if you can buy them, but I bet they'd be expensive anyways -- and great for my all-night orgies. What's that? You're calling me a liar? Fine --you got me, I haven't had sex (with another person) in years. My penis just told me if I don't make something happen soon he's packing up the balls and hitting the road.

Two more pictures after the jump.

Continue Reading " Chair Is Very Cool, Takes Up A Lot Of Room "

Nov 1 2007 CD Turbine + Sawblade = Goodbye Fingers

"Mr. Fix It" Rick is some crazy guy on Youtube who builds things that are a lot more efficient (and safer) to just buy. In this segment he shows you how he put together his latest "Magnetic Tesla CD Turbine with Sawblade Attachment". It runs off of a garden hose, but I've seen others he's made using compressed air. I almost didn't post this, because he doesn't test it out and lose a finger, but I figured I would anyways. That way when he does lose a finger, arm, or eyeball I can link back to this entry and start the new one by saying "remember that crazy a-hole that made the CD turbine powered saw..."

UPDATE: Very weak demonstration of the thing in action after the jump.

Continue Reading " CD Turbine + Sawblade = Goodbye Fingers "

Nov 1 2007 Donut Machine Is My Girlfriend's Dream Man

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The Dough-Nu-Matic is a stupidly named automatic donut machine. Sort of. You see, you still have to make the dough and put it in. All the machine does is form the delicious little bastards and fry them. You can crank out about a dozen in under six minutes. The unit costs $130 from Skymall (surprise, surprise) and I'm sure as soon as my hideous girlfriend reads this she'll have three on order. One for the house, one for the office, and the crazy bitch will probably mount one in her car. She can barely go a minute without a warm donut.

Dough-Nu-Matic Automatic Doughnut Machine [boingboing]

Nov 1 2007 Calculator Prevents Indecent Exposure

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The Chrome Calculator Belt Buckle ($10) is almost exactly what it sounds like. The only thing they failed to mention is that it also serves as an incredibly effective chastity device. You can put it on either way (numbers up or down), so that you can use it, or someone else can do the number punching for you. It's pretty f'ing dorky, but I got one anyways. I like to keep a real close eye on my secretary when she's calculating expense reports.

The Amazing Chrome Calculator Belt Buckle [slashgear]

Nov 1 2007 Zen Dolphin Relaxation Aid Is Questionable

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The Zen Dolphin is a glowing blue plastic dolphin that's supposed to help you relax. It moves like it's swimming.

Relax as you watch Zen Dolphin magically swim above its illuminating base. Beautiful blue light makes it appear as though Zen Dolphin is effortlessly swimming through the sea. Perfect for home, as a night light, the office and more!

It costs around $40, and takes 3 C batteries. It also plays some underwater sounds and dolphin noises. I don't know about you, but it makes perfect sense to me. I get pretty stressed here in my cubicle, and I was just thinking the other day "You know what would really help me unwind? A giant plastic dolphin humping my desk. That should do the trick."

Video demonstration after the jump.

Continue Reading " Zen Dolphin Relaxation Aid Is Questionable "