Sep 28 2007 5,195 Piece LEGO Millennium Falcon


LEGO's largest set to date, the Ultimate Collector's Millennium Falcon, ships Monday, October 1st. The kit consists of 5,195 pieces, measures 33" long and 22" wide, has a 4 lb. instruction book, and will set you back $500. I thought the LEGO pirate ships I used to put together were expensive, but $500, Jesus. I want one. No, I take that back, I need one. Me and LEGO sets are like this (I'm crossing my fingers to indicate we're real close). As a very wise engineer once told me, "If getting drunk and building LEGO sets is wrong, I don't want to be right."

Hit the button for a few more shots of the ship, along with a stop motion video of 7 people putting the set together in 2 hours, 53 minutes.

UPDATE: A man by the name of Ben Watson has set up a website ( asking for 65 cent+ donations to buy this LEGO set. Depending on what you donate, he'll give different shoutouts on his site. He's got $464 left to go, so, uh, he's still a long way off.

Continue Reading " 5,195 Piece LEGO Millennium Falcon "

Sep 28 2007 Trumpet Harmonica Has Got Monster Bells


The Trumpet Harmonica, made by Hohner, is a very sweet looking harmonica indeed. The full concert octave harmonica accurately reproduces the 1907 original design, and includes five brass bells, to really blow your socks off. Just look at that style. It costs $120, and is tuned to they key of C-major. Did I mention I think it looks awesome? You know, not to toot my own horn (!) or anything, but I once played in a band with Bill Clinton. Yeah, he didn't like me at first. But then I told him I was proud of him for that whole Monica Lewinski thing, and that I cheat on my wife regularly. He gave me a big high five and we shared a moment. Then he offered a cigar, but I politely declined.

The Trumpet Harmonica: Bill Clinton's Favorite Instrument? [uberreview]

Sep 28 2007 Robo Massage Chair Will Probably Hurt You


If you have the $5,799 for this Robo Massage Chair, then you’ve got more money than I'll ever see in my life. You also probably get massages from real people, likely beautiful ladies with long eyelashes and soft, well proportioned breasts. Anyways, this chair is voice activated, and looks like a torture device. The 3D Roller Mechanism adjusts to rub you hard or soft, whatever your preference. It can be programmed to save up to 20 massages of your design. Just be careful if you ask it for a happy ending. Because from the look of it it'll probably tear your dipstick off and jam it up your ass. Some happy ending that'll be.

Robo Massage Chair Will Probably Hurt You [bornrich]

Sep 28 2007 Battery Eater Munches On Remaining Power


The Battery Eater, by David Dear, sucks the remaining juice from AA batteries. He's magnetic, so you stick him on the fridge, throw in a battery, and his eyes blink with zinc-carbon ecstasy until he's munched all the power. They cost $12.85 from I have one of these, except it looks like a television remote and changes the channel and volume on the tv. When it can't do that anymore, I pronounce the batteries dead and throw them at rival fans during football games.

Battery Eater Munches On Remaining Power [redferret]

Sep 28 2007 Aptera Hybrid Now Accepting Pre-Orders


The Aptera hybrid is actually being produced. You can put down your $500 deposit now, and see your car in about a year. It hits 60 mph in ten seconds, and is governed at 95 mph. It comes in two versions. The all electric version ($26,900) has 120 mile range, and is plugged in at night. The Hybird version ($29,900) has an efficient gasoline powered generator that achieves over 300 mpg. Not bad. I want one. Mostly because I'm growing fond of the planet and want something that makes me feel like I'm in the Jetsons. Not because I wanted a flying car or to live in the future -- I just wanted to hump the nuts and bolts loose on Rosie the Robot Maid.

More pictures after the jump.

Continue Reading " Aptera Hybrid Now Accepting Pre-Orders "

Sep 28 2007 Cell Phone Jammer Is Awesome, Affordable


The Palm Phone Jammer is a cell phone jammer than can effectively shut down GSM 850-, 900-, 1,800-, and 1,900-MHz cell phone calls in a 30 foot radius. Oh happy day! The unit costs a paltry $166, which is a steal. My old cell phone jammer looked a lot like me waving a gun and yelling obscenities, so this might not only jam calls, but lower my blood pressure. Two birds stoned at once. Although gun waving is fun. I doubt you're going to get anyone to shit their pants with this thing.

Cell Phone Jammer Is Awesome, Affordable [therawfeed]

Sep 28 2007 Prism Glasses Make You Look Like An Ass


The last time I tried to board a plane they told me I was too drunk, so I haven't seen the latest Skymall catalog. Apparently the company is really going after people too lazy to sit up. These "Deluxe" Prism Glasses allow you to lie flat and view a book or television by turning the image 90 degrees. They're also supposed to prevent claustrophobia during an MRI. And at only $50 they're practically giving them away. Too bad I invented this years ago. I taped a mirror to my shoe so I could see up the skirts of women on the subway. Pervert? No sir. Panty aficionado.

Prism Glasses Make You Look Like An Ass [ohgizmo]

Sep 28 2007 Your PS3 Is Watching, Judging You

If you haven't seen this already, it's a preview of Eye of Judgment, one of the PS3's first titles utilizing the Playstation Eye camera peripheral. It looks like a pretty cool game, a sort of play at home version of this thing. It's supposed to be dropping the end of October. Unfortunately I don't have a PS3, so the only card based video game I'll be playing anytime soon is FreeCell. Maybe a little Spider Solitaire if I'm feeling real saucy.

Your PS3 Is Watching, Judging You [gametrailers, thanks to Richard, Lord of Oktoberfest, for the tip]

Sep 27 2007 MP3 Player Cures Acne


It just makes sense. Take an MP3 player, add some sort of facial cleansing ionizer, and boom, best product ever. The Mpion is a 128 MB (!!) MP3 player that you rub on your face to release acne cleansing ions. I love rubbing electronics on my face as much as the next guy, but this thing is ridiculous. I bet it doesn't work. AND it costs $181. "Are you making out with an MP3 player?" "No, I'm cleansing my face and preventing acne." "You're wasting your time." "Damn, you're right. I'm one beat up bitch."

Translated Product site via [uberreview]

Sep 27 2007 Human Flipbook Is A Flipbook On A Person

This is a commercial of a human flipbook. Or a shirt flipbook, if you like that better. You can call it whatever you want. It was made for Erbert and Gerbert's Subs. It was made using 150 shirts, patience, and creativity. It's so relaxing and playful. It reminds me of a time before I had to worry about paying child support. Life was so carefree back then. Now it sucks and I'm being evicted. My landlord is such a dick and I can't even afford the medicine for my VD(s). God I'm getting depressed. Someone cheer me up before I have a Drano drinking contest with myself.

A "making of the video" video after the jump.

Continue Reading " Human Flipbook Is A Flipbook On A Person "

Sep 27 2007 Ray Gun Makes You Burn, Not Literally


Raytheon demonstrated their Silent Guardian ray gun/box at a recent show. It's a scaled down version of the one you may have seen mounted on the back of Army vehicles awhile ago when they first started messing with this technology. Basically it emits a focused beam of radiation tuned to a precise frequency that stimulates human nerves, giving a burning sensation (similar to the one when you pee). The rays only penetrate a human's skin 1/64th of an inch, so it allegedly doesn't cause permanent damage. I wonder though. Because I used to rest my head against the microwave to watch what I was cooking, and now I'm retarded as hell.

The full picture of a guy touching the box and crapping his pants after the jump.

Continue Reading " Ray Gun Makes You Burn, Not Literally "

Sep 27 2007 Solar Powered Bicycle Is Great, Heavy


The E-V Sunny Solar Bicycle has solar panels built into the wheels, which maintain a constant charge to the batteries. When you don't feel like pedaling the bike is powered by a 500 watt front hub motor. It'll get you up to about 18 mph, and even faster if you fall off a cliff. The catch is that it weighs 75 lbs., so you're gonna need to use that motor unless you have legs like mighty oaks. A new one costs $1295, and kits to solarize your own bike start at $795. I remember the first time I got on a bike and realized that you have to pedal them to go. What a letdown that was. I thought they were silent motorcycles for people who weren't into wearing leather.

Solar Powered Bicycle Is Great, Heavy [reubenmiller]

Sep 27 2007 Apple Mailbox Mod Is Cooler Than Mine


Some Apple fan took what appears to be an old G4 case and modded it into a mailbox. I hated this computer case when it first came out, but it looks good as a mail receptacle. I'd make one, but I live in a college town where mailboxes have short lifespans. I just have a regular damn box and people still love to beat the shit out of it. That's why I'm going to fill it with explosives and kill the rat bastards.

Apple Mailbox Mod Is Cooler Than Mine [geekstir, thanks to Derek for the tip]

Sep 26 2007 John Harvard Is Master Chief


Some MIT gamers, stoked about the release of Halo 3, decided to prank Harvard. They dressed up the John Harvard statue in Harvard Yard with an assault rifle and Spartan helmet. Making him infinitely cooler in everyone's eyes. I'm glad they didn't change his shoes though, because they're sweet. I need a pair of those. This is pretty much the opposite of what happened here, which I continue to be broken up about (still crying a lot), if you want to know the truth.

One more of what John Harvard looks like at a luau, but without gun and helmet, after the leap.

Continue Reading " John Harvard Is Master Chief "

Sep 26 2007 Transformer USB Storage Drives


Since pretty much everything else has been Transformerized, it was only a matter of time before Transformer USB storage devices hit the shelves. Well here they are, available in two models, the 1 GB Autobot ($40), and the 2 GB Decepticon ($60). Why they made the Decepticon the larger of the storage capacities is a mystery to me. Probably because the money grubber that made them didn't know who was good and who was bad. Those stupid greedy bastards. Autobots, transform and roll out!

Transformer USB Storage Drives [uberreview]

Sep 26 2007 Wind Up Lamp Is A Lamp You Wind Up


The wind up lamp, designed by Yuko Tagushi, is very cool. It runs off a high carbon tensile steel spring. As the spring unwinds, it powers a small electric generator, producing enough power to keep the light on. When the key winds down, it's lights out. The only problem is, I have to keep the light on all night. The last time I slept in the dark I dreamed I ate a pound of horrible chocolate pudding. I woke up the next morning with a spoon in my ass. True story.

Wind Up Lamp Is A Lamp You Wind Up [ohgizmo]

Sep 26 2007 Cybercars Are Better Than The Bus


Daventry, in Northamptonshire, UK, is testing the use of cybercars, which are computer controlled cars. You push a button along the route, and the little electric car comes and picks you up. They follow a pre-programmed route, and use lasers to avoid hitting things. I think these little guys are awesome as hell, and I wish we had them in my town. I have to ride the city bus, and somehow I always end up sitting next to a serial masturbator. They've ruined several of my suits.

Cybercars Are Better Than The Bus [therawfeed]

Sep 26 2007 Abacus Watch Tells Time With A Ball


The 600 Abacus watch was designed by Roy Schafer and is made by the Erich Lacher Watch Factory in Germany. "The ball moves to and fro across the face of the watch with the flow of the wearer's arm movements, but as soon as the Abacus reaches a horizontal position, the ball moves as if by magic - or at least by magnetism - to the right point in time." This sucker will set you back $152.91 if you're interested. I really like the concept, but it needs a roulette wheel background. I was thinking just the other day that my watch was missing something, and now I know. Balls. I mean watches and balls were practically invented for each other.

Product Site [thanks to the always on time Trisha for the tip]

Sep 25 2007 Gun + High Speed Camera = Awesome


Because shooting things is almost as much fun as stabbing them, I like guns. So why not fire some bullets through household objects and catch the action with a high speed camera. Sure, it's not a new concept, but I'm not letting that trivialize the quality of my boner right now.

Four more after the jump, including the flower I'm getting my cheating bitch of a girlfriend.

UPDATE: The photographer's name is David Neff, his flickr album can be viewed here, and his prints are available for sale if you contact him.

Continue Reading " Gun + High Speed Camera = Awesome "

Sep 25 2007 New Bowl Allows You To Walk Your Fish


Design student Michal Shabtiali has developed the appropriately named Portable Fish Bowl. It's a fishbowl with a handle. Making it portable. See how that works? It's a concept piece at the moment, but after word gets out I imagine mass production will begin in no time. After all, if the batty ass lady next door can walk her damn cats (read: push them in a stroller), I don't see why you can't take your fish out for some fun. Just don't leave the poor bastard on the subway.

A few more after the dive.

Continue Reading " New Bowl Allows You To Walk Your Fish "

Sep 25 2007 Colorlight DVD Sets The Mood


Huge flatscreens are okay for watching movies and all, but who needs a movie when you can have slowly rotating colors? For $25 you can pick up the Color Light DVD from Charles & Marie, and then drive off a cliff for being stupid.

This DVD softly rotates through a series of wonderful colors in all sorts of hues and creates a wonderfully pleasant mood...If you fancy a particular color, you can simply pause the DVD there and savor hmmm maybe some soft green or a little hot pink - all depending on what your mood is like that moment...So, for the next cocktail eve you've got planned, you might want to throw on the telly for a little - mood enhancing...

Jesus, what in the hell is going on? A mood color DVD for cocktail eves? What the hell is a cocktail eve anyway? Is that when you go downtown and get so drunk you pee into the Golden Tee golf game? Because if so then I've hosted those before.

Colorlight DVD Sets The Mood [ohgizmo]

Sep 25 2007 Not Found Bumper Sticker Lacks Cool Factor


I'm perfectly happy with my "If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk" bumper sticker. But it's different strokes for different folks. Maybe this is more your style. I hope not though, because it's painfully uncool. Using my detective skills I noticed there were two other files missing from this guy's server. 1. rust-free-exterior.pnt and 2. anyfemales4me.vrgn

Not Found Bumper Stick Lacks Cool Factor [techeblog]

Sep 25 2007 Gamercize Makes You Exercise To Play


A new version of the Gamercize exercise machine is about to drop, and it's wacker than ever. It will be available for all the new video game systems (360, PS3, Wii), and makes you exercise in order to play games. You can get a stair-stepper machine, or bike pedals, and as long as you're exercising, your remote will work. If you stop (read: your heart explodes), then your controller does too (but you'll be dead anyways). Might be a good idea for obese kids if it was tamper proof, but as it is now they would have the thing unplugged and a face full of Little Debbies before you could yell "Who the f ate the last Star Crunch?"

Gamercise Makes You Exercise To Play [ubergizmo]

Sep 25 2007 World's Largest Pencil Video

Why put the roof on a house when you can build the world's largest pencil? That's exactly what these construction workers thought when they made an 18,000 lb., 76 ft. long (functional) writing instrument. It allegedly represents 1,900,000 small pencils and took two weeks to make. It's basically a tree that's been painted yellow. I need to get my hands on that bad boy, because I have a ton of oversized checks that need depositing.

World's Largest Pencil Video [techeblog]

Sep 25 2007 Pentagon Funds Maple Seed Camera Project


Lockheed Martin, the Pentagon's number one supplier, is developing nano air vehicles (NAVs), that resemble the seed of a silver maple.

The single-winged device would pack a tiny two-stage rocket thruster along with telemetry, communications, navigation, imaging sensors and a power source. It is designed to carry interchangeable payload modules -- the size of an aspirin tablet. It could be used for chemical and biological detection or finding a "needle in a haystack." Released in organized swarms to fly low over a disaster area, the NAV sensors could detect human body heat and signs of breathing.

Wow, are we living in the future or what? Little flying reconnaissance seeds. You know, I went skinny dipping in the river the other day, and I was wondering where the hell all the damn maple seeds came from. Now I know. Suffice it to say the government found the penis of mass destruction they've been looking for.

Pentagon Funds Maple Seed Camera Project [therawfeed]

Sep 24 2007 Light Up Boomerang Makes For Cool Pictures


The Scimitar is a boomerang fitted with LED lights, designed by toy loving Eric Darnell. Although it's not the traditional boomerang shape, it's still pretty cool. And it makes for neat pictures if you leave the shutter open long enough. The only thing that pisses me off is that boomerangs are so damn hard to throw. Okay, I take that back. They're easy to throw, but freaking near impossible to have come back.

Light Up Boomerang Makes For Cool Pictures [neatorama]

Sep 24 2007 Real Life Donkey Kong Looks Hard

Yeah, so these guys made a real life Donkey Kong game. The real fun starts about halfway through the video. It looks difficult, but it may just be that the dumb bastard playing is clumsy. I'd have been up to the top and necking with the princess before Mr. Kong could beat his chest and grunt "UGH UGH UGH!"

Real Life Donkey Kong Looks Hard [nopuedocreer]

Sep 24 2007 Small Camcorder Hides In Pack Of Gum

gum-camera.jpg is selling what they claim to be the world's smallest camcorder. Now I'm sure that's debatable, but whatever. It is made to fit in an empty pack of gum. It records up to 33 hours of 15 fps video on it's 1 GB micro SD card. It connects to your PC via USB to charge itself and transfer video. It costs $295. The only problem is the low-res video quality. So if you set this up by the bed expecting to capture your sexual exploits in high def, you're going to be disappointed. You won't have a sex tape as much as you'll have footage that looks like two otters dueling over a mackerel.

One more after the jump, just for the halibut.

Continue Reading " Small Camcorder Hides In Pack Of Gum "

Sep 24 2007 Robot Watch Is Cute And Cheap


This awesome little bastard is a robot watch available from Cataloger, in Japan. They run about $35, and are cuter than a basket of puppies and kitties. They have adjustable arms, and can be removed from the band to double as a little desk clock. I just want to make out with the little guy. But I'll refrain. The last time I got intimate with a robot I got stuck in my roommate's Roomba.

Robot Watch Is Cute And Cheap [technabob]

Sep 24 2007 Salmon Sperm Makes LEDs Better


Professor Andrew Steckl of the University of Cincinnati has been enhancing LEDs with, get this, salmon sperm.

DNA has certain optical properties that make it unique. It allows improvements in one to two orders of magnitude in terms of efficiency, light, brightness — because we can trap electrons longer. Some of the electrons rushing by have a chance to say ‘hello,’ and get that photon out before they pass out. The more electrons we can keep around, the more photons we can generate. DNA serves as a barrier that affects the motion of the electrons.

Not to toot my own horn or anything, but one time some of my DNA ended up on the ceiling fan, and its horsepower increased tenfold. So there, Professor Steckl.

Salmon Sperm Makes LEDs Better [ohgizmo]

Sep 24 2007 USB Mouse Jiggler Is Very Dumb


Wiebetech is selling an amazing new USB device. It's called the Mouse Jiggler, and it costs $30. If you can't tell from the name, it's a USB dongle that makes your mouse jiggle. That way the screen saver doesn't kick in. It is very stupid. They come in fast and slow jiggling versions. I know what you're thinking, "What about someone like me that desires medium jiggle?" Well my friends, you're out of luck.

Product Page [thanks to Derek for the tip]

Sep 24 2007 Stress Relieving Lamp-Pillow-Warmer Things


Superpatatas are lamp blobs created by Spanish product designer Hector Serrano. Playing with them makes the light brighter. They can also be used as squeezable stress relievers, pillows, or bed warming devices. I think they're pretty neat, and I'd get some, except I'm done with cords and broken glass. No cords or broken glass in this ass. That's a new motto of mine. Of course I would make an exception if they feel like a woman's booby.

Stress Relieving Lamp-Pillow-Warmer Things [notcot]

Sep 21 2007 Head Massager Looks Very, Very Stupid


Despite this guy's best "thinking man" pose, he still looks like a complete ass. I can't quite pinpoint the cause, but I think it might have something to do with the giant bit of retarded he's got there on his head. The Head Spa, from Edmund Scientific, is a "revolutionary" head massager. It runs $50, and "the patented design is lightweight and easy to use while at your office desk, or on the morning commute." About that. Try wearing this at the ol' cubicle and see how much longer they keep you around. The last time I checked the purpose of a massage was not to look like someone who ate paint chips as a kid and got kicked in the head by a mule.

Head Massager Looks Very, Very Stupid [technabob]

Sep 21 2007 Museum Guide Robots Have Eyeball Heads


Enon is a robot created by Fujitsu that meets visitors to Kyotaro Nishimura's museum and then guides them through the exhibits. It uses arm gestures and a chest embedded LCD screen to get the job done, along with a robotic voice. The company plans to roll other service robots out in the coming years, including security and package transport models. One time my 4th grade teacher grabbed my junk when we were in the mummy exhibit at the museum. I'm not complaining or anything. Actually, I think I'm bragging. High five! Up high. Down low. Damnit, he was a dude :/

Museum Guide Robots Have Eyeball Heads [engadget]

Sep 21 2007 Knife Rest Lets Guests Know You'll Kill Them


If you want guests to know you'll kill them if they don't like the food you've prepared, try this little guy. Designed by Raffaele Iannello, and available from ThinkGeek, "The Ex" is available in red or black ($70) and chrome ($100). It even comes with five knives, so you're ready to do some stabbing right out of the box. I would get one, but the doctor says I'm not allowed near sharp objects. The last time I had a Swiss Army knife I cut two fingers off. They weren't mine though, they were the doctor's. I'm from the old school, where you hold the thermometer in your mouth. You know where he wanted to put it?

Knife Rest Lets Guests Know You'll Kill Them [thinkgeek]

Sep 21 2007 LaCie's New Hard Drive Is Golden


LaCie's new external hard drive will look like a beautiful golden wave glistening atop your desk. It was fabricated by Ora-Ito, a French designer, exclusively for LaCie. It packs 500 GB of storage, uses a USB 2.0 interface, and will run $189 when it drops next month. Why a plain unadorned rectangle is not enough for some people, I don't know (and I'm not the biggest fan of LaCie drives). But once I followed a rainbow to the end and there was a fat leprechaun sitting on one of these. He said it was stuffed with the porn of my wildest dreams. So I killed him and took it. It was empty, that lying little bastard.

LaCie's New Hard Drive Is Golden [gizmodo]

Sep 21 2007 Beer Pong Device Ensures A Sweet Rack


Two college kids, who I imagine are sixth year juniors, started their own company (The Founding Collegians) and created The Rack, which is a device you put the cups in when playing beer pong. It's designed to keep a perfect rack, allow re-racks, and prevent spills. I've actually played with these things before and they work (the ball holders are a nice touch). It stops those jerks who think the object of the game is to just knock cups over. They cost $15 for two. Oh, and speaking of perfect racks, the Geekologie Perfect Rack Competition is now in full swing ladies, so keep those pictures coming via the tip line. The winner gets a free me staring at their hooters.

A video of trick beer pong shots for your mindless enjoyment after the jump.

Continue Reading " Beer Pong Device Ensures A Sweet Rack "

Sep 21 2007 Sleep With Your Favorite 80's Video Games


If you have trouble sleeping at night like I do, then you should probably stop passing out on the walk home from the bar. For people who sleep in beds instead of ditches, how about these guys? It's PAC-MAN and the ghost gang, along with Pooka from Dig Dug. Each are 8"-12", and plush as hell. The whole set will run you $100 from NAMCO. I ordered a set to help weed out some of the undesirables that make it to my bed. "What video game is this guy from?" "Uhhh...Sonic The Hedgehog?" "Bitch get out."

Sleep With Your Favorite 80's Video Games [shinyshiny]

Sep 21 2007 Lunar Mining Robot Looks Like Awesome Toy


Scarab, the moon miner, was developed at the Robotics Institute of Carnegie Mellon. He's an awesome little guy designed to mine "hydrogen, possibly water, and other volatile chemicals" for use at a future moonbase. I didn't know water was a volatile chemical, but whatever. It runs off solar energy, and when there isn't any, it utilizes a "radioisotope source" for power. Which is good news, because I've been waiting for an RC car that runs off decaying uranium.

[sciencedaily] via [therawfeed]

Sep 21 2007 Transformer Dress Turns Into Naked Lady!


Any Friday that starts with the tip line filled with naked ladies is a good one. So today might not turn out so bad. British clothes designer Hussein Chalayan has made dresses that transform into other dresses, and one that disappears entirely! The fun in the video starts about a third of the way through, and the finale is the real money maker. The entire dress disappears into the model's hat, making this very NSFW. You get to see everything. Which, I might add, was my first time. And awesome.

NSFW video after the jump.

Continue Reading " Transformer Dress Turns Into Naked Lady! "

Sep 20 2007 UK To Build Wave Powered Generator


The UK has approved the construction of the Wave Hub, which will be the first full-scale wave powered generator in the world. It looks like an underwater level from Mario Bros., but it actually generates electricity. Located off the coast of Cornwall, it may one day generate enough energy for 7,500 households and save 300,000 tons of carbon dioxide in 25 years. Which is impressive, but if they installed this thing in my waterbed I could power at least 10,000 homes. Because, you know, I swim in bed. Okay fine, I masturbate a lot. Practically nonstop.

UK To Build Wave Powered Generator [uberreview]

Sep 20 2007 Movie Screen Hides In Your Bookshelf


Italian designer Matteo Ragni has developed the Fly Shelf with Integrated Projection Screen. It's a screen for your projector that hides in a bookshelf. The size shown is about 67" wide, so you're not going to get any super big-screen action, but the idea is great. A 10 foot bookshelf might look weird though. Of course, anything would probably look better than my current hidden projection screen. Which is a Dukes of Hazzard bedsheet I keep under the couch. That the cats pee on.

Movie Screen Hides In Your Bookshelf [gizmodo]

Sep 20 2007 Start Your Own Dinosaur Park!


Remember when you were a kid and really wanted a pet dinosaur? Remember how you never really grew out of that and still do? Well now you can. You can go with this bad boy, and now, these guys. They're a happy family of Stegosaurus, with the adult measuring approximately 28 feet. Which is bigger than my trailer. They cost $21,000 including shipping, which makes them worth nearly 8 times my trailer. But I don't care -- I already have real live pet dinosaurs. Because, well, I'm an expert when it comes to having sex with prehistoric beasts.

Start Your Own Dinosaur Park!

Sep 20 2007 Homemade 25mm Sniper Cannon


These kids have overprotective mothers that won't let them play with real guns, so they decided to build their own out of PVC. The gun "boasts a two-and-a-half-foot barrel that is one inch in diameter, has custom bolt-action mechanism, a modded sprinkler valve as the primary firing valve, and a $40 sniper scope." There is an instructables online if you want to make your own, but I suggest you don't, because that would make you a dork, like them (and these guys). Potato guns are fine though, because I made one. There's a video after the jump, featuring the gun shooting a CO2 canister THROUGH a cardboard box! All the way! It goes ALL THE WAY THROUGH. That's power. Wow. I mean, wow. I think I felt a little movement in my pants. Wait, no, cat crawling up my leg.

Video after the jump.

Continue Reading " Homemade 25mm Sniper Cannon "

Sep 20 2007 Free Ride Pen Gives No Complimentary Rides


Designer Jean Pierre Lepine (like pen!) has developed the Free Ride Pen. It is an expensive ass writing instrument that reminds me of the thing aliens ram in my exit hole whenever they pick me up for studies. It costs $175.

The Free Ride is designed to be different, ergonomic, and fun. This push top ballpoint features a soft rubber like material in the vital sections where finger meets pen. The arched hull is held in place by hand drilled screws. As Lepine puts it, “I create tomorrow’s writing instruments for today’s men and women”.

If this is tomorrow's writing instrument, I don't know how I feel about the future anymore. I thought it was supposed to be flying cars and robots, not $175 ass probes that double as pens. I don't remember seeing this thing in Back to the Future II. Screw it, I'm getting drunk and passing out somewhere.

UPDATE: One more picture after the click.

Continue Reading " Free Ride Pen Gives No Complimentary Rides "

Sep 20 2007 Horn Speakers Are Huge, Fugly


If you live in a castle and have all the room in the world for two monster mid to high-range speakers, then the Ferguson Horn Speakers may be for you.

The Ferguson Hill Loudspeakers are full range units from 150Hz - 20KHz, with no crossover, however, a sub bass unit is required below 150Hz. They reproduce music with a high level of clarity, detail and dynamics, are highly efficient, and will go loud with just a few watts (5 watts).This allows their use with relatively low powered amplifiers further increasing the level of clarity obtainable, from such relatively 'simple' amplifier circuits.

Yeah, so yeah. Curious about the cost? Try $20,000 a pop. I probably won't even make $20,000 in my lifetime. And if I do I'm not spending it on a fugly speaker. No sir, I'm gonna blow it all on booze and hookers, like any red blooded American would. I'm very patriotic you know.

Horn Speakers Are Huge, Fugly [ohgizmo]

Sep 20 2007 Holographic Vaio Zoom Notebook Concept


The Vaio Zoom notebook concept was created by designer Eno Setiawan. The idea is that the notebook is entirely holographic. When off, the screen is clear glass and the keyboard is an expansive of beautiful black shine. When you turn it on the keyboard, screen, and mouse buttons are displayed as holograms. I think the thing looks beautiful as hell, but damnit, it's a concept. Just like the majority of other concepts, it doesn't work in the real world. It's like the concept for the woman I want. She's a supermodel, great cook, nymphomaniac, doesn't nag, can rest a beer on her head, has no teeth, and loves watching sports. See, she's a concept -- she doesn't exist in reality. That's why I live in my grandmother's attic with a bunch of cats. I've given up.

One more picture on the flipside.

Continue Reading " Holographic Vaio Zoom Notebook Concept "

Sep 19 2007 About Time Clock Isn't Accurate


The About Time Clock, designed by Buro Vormkrijgers, doesn't tell accurate time, and costs $170.

This innovative clock reveals the passing of time by rolling around your desk and telling time in one long continuous sentence. Designed in reaction to our stressed lives, where we tend to plan our daily activities to the minute, this clock simply tells you "It's about six o'clock" or "it's almost seven now". While rolling around your table, the slow but constant, almost meditative motion allows you to relax and maybe even forget about time for a few minutes.

What in the hell kind of hippie crap is that? If I'm two minutes late turning in a report, it's my balls on the chopping block. Minutes do matter. Who needs a clock that rolls off your desk and onto the floor anyways? The only way this thing could be useful is if it read "it's about time for you to get an f'ing clock that works, because I'm just a rolling piece of crap."

A closeup after the jump.

Continue Reading " About Time Clock Isn't Accurate "

Sep 19 2007 Stun Gun Prevents Unwanted Calls


If you're tired of people at the bar asking to borrow your cell phone to make calls, well here's your chance to fight back. The Immobilizer 900,000 volt stun gun looks like a really crappy cell phone with a chintzy background, but packs a punch. It also has 12 LEDs so you can examine the damage you've done after dropping a would be phone borrower/attacker. It says it has two levels of safety to prevent accidental shocks, but I'm sure you can get around that. "Sure you can use my phone." ZAP. "HAHA, you deserved it -- get your own damn phone you burnt toast smelling ass cheapskate."

Stun Gun Prevents Unwanted Calls [newlaunches]

Sep 19 2007 Star Wars Personal Theater Is Cool


Vic Wertz and Lisa Stevens, who used to run the Official Star Wars Fan Club, had this home theater made to resemble the control deck of the Death Star. It was designed by Doug Chiang who was the lead designer in Episodes I and II. All the stars are lit up via LEDs, and the massive DVD collection is hidden behind a Han Solo in Carbonite door (which could be made of turds and be better than this one). Throw in a golden bikinied Princess Leia chained to the chair and my privates would be in hyperdrive.

One more after the jump.

Continue Reading " Star Wars Personal Theater Is Cool "

Sep 19 2007 Geltec Beta Gel Is Pretty Amazing

The video shows a raw egg being dropped from 72 feet and landing on a small pad of Geltec's Beta Gel. The egg doesn't break. It's amazing. And it's from a Japanese show, which makes it that much better. Although I think having a person jump off would have been a tad more impressive, I'm still not complaining. Where the hell was this stuff when we had the egg drop contest in grade school? Well, I guess it wouldn't have mattered anyways because my fat lab partner kept eating all the eggs they gave us. You know, I wonder what Miranda Big Stuff is up to these days.

Geltec Beta Gel Is Pretty Amazing [gizmodo]

Sep 19 2007 Urban Cup Holders Can Get You Killed


I usually just set my damn beer on the sidewalk if I need to stop and kick someone's ass on the street, but apparently that's not good enough for some people.

The aim of the urban cup holder is to encourage people to reinterpret street settings and claim them as their territory, instead of just using them as a means of passage from A to B. The cup holder is easily clamped with one hand to posts in the street, then used as a coat/bag/umbrella hanger and a drink holder. In turn, giving the user a feeling of control and creating a more personal space, a temporary territory.

Um, I'd like to see you go and "claim some territory" with these things over where the gangs like to hang out. Use their colors too, maybe they'll let you join. "Oh don't mind me, just mounting my latte to this pole for a minute while I reposition my vagina." Did I mention they cost $15? They cost $15.

Urban Cup Holders Prevent Burns [ohgizmo]

Sep 19 2007 Coca-Cola Introduces Self-Chilling Bottle


Coca-Cola, a company best known for putting narcotics in their soda, is rolling out a new technology they hope will take the industry by storm. Self-chilling bottles! That's right, you twist the top off, and presto, the inside of the bottle chills your drink to a pleasant temperature. They don't want to scare anyone away from their current beverages in case these things start exploding (or taste like ass), so they're going to drop 'Sprite Super Chilled', which will probably suck. Just like the clear colas from the 90's. What they need to do is apply this technology to the beer in my car, and make the commute to and from work, uh, even more dangerous.

Coca-Cola Introduces Self-Chilling Bottle [ohgizmo]

Sep 18 2007 Crown7 Cigarette Isn't Really A Cigarette


It's less a cigarette and more an electronic nicotine delivery system, seemingly an updated version of this thing. It doesn't produce any smoke, but does hit you with nicotine. It costs $100, and five replacement cartridges run $10. Each cartridge is allegedly the equivalent of two packs of cigarettes, so if you've ever wanted to OD on nicotine, I'd say this thing is your best bet. Neat idea, but I'll just stick to my Sherlock Holmes pipe. Because nothing says "I'm all class" like puffing on a pipe and ogling the ladies through a monocle.

Product Site [thanks to Chris, a man who the ladies find smokin', for the tip]

Sep 18 2007 Talking Photo Album Steals Your Voice

This talking photo album, from Vat19, uh, talks. You can record a 10 second statement for each of the 24 photos in the album and then listen to them while you're reliving the memories. It costs $20, and isn't that bad of an idea if you plan on dying. I'm getting one to set on the coffee table for visitors. "On the next page is a picture of my testicles, don't look if you don't believe me. HAHA! You turned. You are so gay, those are my balls! Those are them! They're attached to me. Sucker! Now put down the album because the next page has private pictures of my girlfriend. Seriously, stop. HAHA! Gotcha -- you turned again! More balls! Whee!"

Product Site

Sep 18 2007 Japanese Card Game Looks Awesome


Not totally sure how it works or if we'll ever see it anywhere but Japan, but damn does this thing look like Magic on acid. It's a video game released by Taito at a recent arcade game show in the land of the rising sun. Apparently the touchscreen is interactive, and responds to the cards you place via RFID recognition. If anyone has any more information, or can make better sense of the translated page, feel free to add. All I know is I need one. I haven't had a good game of Magic in a long time. Mostly because I don't have any friends. That, and my freaking dog eats the cards when he loses. Poor sport.

A few more after the jump.

Continue Reading " Japanese Card Game Looks Awesome "

Sep 18 2007 Delicate Touch Robot Hand Plays Nice


Intel scientists working at a Seattle lab have developed a technology they're dubbing "pre-touch", which consists of a number of electric-field proximity sensors. These sensors are used to determine the conductive properties of an object prior to touching it, to help assess what kind and how strong a grip is necessary. Just imagine that dangling ball in the picture to be, well, your testicles (or female equivalent). Now do you want that sexy robot hand to bear down on you like vice grips, or would you prefer the gentle caress of a spring breeze, and maybe a little tickling action? Exactly. If you answered one you're a sicko.

Delicate Touch Robot Hand Plays Nice [therawfeed]

Sep 18 2007 Homemade Pigeon Deterrent Scares Birds

This guy set up a motion activated sprinkler to keep pigeons from crapping up the ledge between his pool and hot tub. While I can understand this working in a garden by spraying animals before they eat something, I question its use here. I mean the first thing I do when I think I'm being shot at is empty my bladder and bowels, then cry. I'm sure the pigeons do the same. His only hope is that each individual bird learns it's lesson. *BANG* Not again. *sniffle, sob*

Homemade Pigeon Deterrent Scares Birds [gizmodo]

Sep 18 2007 Magical Basket Mirror Baffles The Mind


Daniel Rozin's Weave Mirror looks like a flat piece of basket on the wall. But it is actually a magical mirror to another dimension.

The mirror is an assembly of 768 motorized and laminated C-shaped prints along the surface of a picture plane that texturally mimics a homespun basket. A seemingly organic smoky portrait comes in focus to the sound of clacking steps made by the sculpture’s moving parts. The Weave Mirror paints a picture of viewers using a gradual rotation in greyscale value on each C-ring.

I have no idea what all that means, but I'm pretty sure it's just a cover-up for the portal to hell they've opened in that basket. Whatever you do, don't touch the image that appears. Because, uh, I saw my doppelganger once and had to kill him because I heard if you don't then you die. Turns out it was just a guy dressed similar. I still think 30 years is a little unfair.

Magical video after the jump.

Continue Reading " Magical Basket Mirror Baffles The Mind "

Sep 18 2007 Guys Can't Drive Halo Warthog

The guys from Weta Works built a replica of the Warthog from Halo, and now there's a video of some dudes from Bungie driving it. No word on what was used, but it looks pretty sweet. The only problem is none of them have a damn driver's license, as is evident when they slam into the side of the building. I was kind of hoping the guy in the back would fly out and get run over, but today's not my day. I do want it though, and I'm gonna pull up to my neighbor's house and threaten to rain hell if he doesn't cut the damn grass and keep his weeds from spreading. Crazy old bastard.

Guys Build Halo Warthog, Can't Drive [techeblog]

Sep 17 2007 World's Most Expensive Chair Is Shiny


This piece of crap chair, which is set to fetch between $1.6 and $2.4 million at auction next month, isn't worth it. It was made in 1986 by designer Marc Newson, and nicknamed the Lockheed Lounge. It's kind of like a clawfoot bathtub, an airplane, and a moster jelly bean had some kind of seriously f'ed up threesome and this was the resulting lovechild. Oh, and it doesn't look comfortable. If you have the money for this thing, email me, and I'll sell you a cooler chair made out of all my vital organs for the same price (heart included).

World's Most Expensive Chair Is Shiny [gizmodo]

Sep 17 2007 Gun Shaped Blow-Dryer Is Stupid


From the "because everything is cooler in the shape of a gun, particularly items you regularly point at your head" department comes this blow-dryer. It's a hairdryer that looks like a gun, comes with either a blue or pink handle, and costs $40. You control the power of using the hammer, which moves into four different positions. Did I mention this was a bad idea? If you're thinking this is cool and you'd look hot drying your hair with it I suggest you come over to my place first, and I'll show you how cool you'd look with all your teeth kicked out. Um, you know, because you won't.

Gun Shaped Blow-Dryer Is Stupid [gizmodo]

Sep 17 2007 Motion Portrait Animates Still Photos


Motion Portrait takes a single photograph and digitizes it while extracting 3D information so that it can be animated. Right now the animation options are pretty limited, and it reminds me of this thing, but I see the potential. Soon you'll be able to take a digital picture of yourself, upload that bad boy to your favorite porno movie, and then watch yourself have the sex your hand can't provide. Oh, and if the picture is any indication of quality, the program does less conversion to CG, and more conversion to smack addict.

A video after the jump showing the transformation.

Continue Reading " Motion Portrait Animates Still Photos "

Sep 17 2007 McDonald's Offering Cell Phone Ordering


Because standing in line and ordering in person is analog and burns too many calories, a Korean McDonald's is experimenting with a new cell phone ordering system. Customers plug special RFID devices into their phones, and then browse the menu, pushing buttons to order food. When your order is ready, you receive a text message, notifying you it's time to pack on some weight. I don't even see the purpose for this. I doubt it saves very much time, and it's probably a pain to scroll the menu on a damn phone. And how do you pay? Thanks but no thanks. I only use my cell phone for what it was meant to be used for. Those sexy talk text messaging services.

McDonald's Offering Cell Phone Ordering [therawfeed]

Sep 17 2007 USB Shaver Is The Opposite Of Brilliant


Connectland's USB powered rechargeable shaver is just that, a damn USB shaver. Now I buy everything that has USB in the title, so of course I own one, and I've got to say it is not awesome. It is the opposite of awesome. If awesome were a supermodel, this thing would be my girlfriend. It costs $20, and doesn't even have a damn beard trimmer. Now I like shaving at the office as much as the next guy, but this thing just didn't work out. I was only a quarter done with my privates when the boss asked what I was doing in his office standing over the waste basket.

USB Shaver Is The Opposite Of Brilliant [uberreview]

Sep 17 2007 Triops, The Throwable Digital Camera


German designer Franziska Faoro has developed the Triops digital camera, which is a digital camera with three fisheye lenses. It can take panoramic photographs, or be thrown to take really blurry photographs. Yes I said thrown. You're supposed to toss it around for "an active, spontaneous and playful photography experience." It responds to sound and movement to take pictures, which are wirelessly transmitted to a separate display unit. Franziska is still searching for a manufacturer to produce the unit, so we'll see what happens. Of course if it goes anything like the "throwable audio equipment" I invented, I think it's safe to say these won't be hitting shelves anytime soon. Just the floor. And breaking.

Triops, The Throwable Digital Camera [yankodesign]

Sep 17 2007 Army Testing Balsa And Foam Humvees


In an attempt to cut weight on Humvees, the Army is testing models made with "fiberglass, balsa wood, foam and carbon reinforcements all held together with resin. The body of the tan composite prototype has a sandpaper feel. The fenders are pliable and can be easily bent by hand, flipping back into place when released." The 900 pounds cut from the vehicle are going to be added back in the form of extra armor and mine-blast protection. Now I'm not too familiar with the strength of mine blasts or explosions or anything, but I do know that the last time I built a vehicle out of balsa wood the wings broke off in an hour and then the whole thing disintegrated when it rained.

Army Testing Balsa And Foam Humvees [therawfeed]

Sep 17 2007 Scary Robot Face is Scary, Ugly


The WD-2 scary robot face from Tokyo University can allegedly transform to look like anyone. It has a projector in the rear so it can project video of your face and expressions to make it even more frightening. It has "17 facial points, for a total of 56 degrees of freedom," and is made from a "highly elastic and rigid (!?) material called Septom, with bits of steel wool mixed in for added strength." Neat concept, but I feel sorry for the poor bastard whose face was used in the picture, because that may very well be the world's ugliest mug.

Two crazy videos after the jump, one of the face changing, one with projection.

Continue Reading " Scary Robot Face is Scary, Ugly "

Sep 14 2007 Non-Stick Gum Keeps Sidewalks Clean


British chemist Terence Cosgrove of Bristol University has developed a new chewing gum that is easy to remove and water soluble. Revolymer, Terence's horribly named company, plans to have the gum available in the next year. The breakthrough technology is a hydrophilic polymer that allows the gum to quickly dissolve in water. The gum, horribly named Rev 7, was easily removed from sidewalks and hair, and scored well in blind taste tests. This is swell, and I'm all about gum not crapping up sidewalks and the bottom of my desk, but how about taking this to the next level. I'm thinking bubble gum that can blown into a functional condom should the need arise. Not that snack size Doritos bags have ever done me wrong, but I'm looking for something with just a hint more class.

Non-Stick Gum Keeps Sidewalks Cleaner [gizmodo]

Sep 14 2007 Darth Vader Lamp Scares Children


Collectors Gallery is selling these Darth Vader nightlights for $40. It looks pretty damn sweet except for that stupid material they made the top of his head out of. It looks like his freaking brain is exposed. I mean this is Darth f'ing Vader we're talking about here, let's do him some justice. Just a heads up though, be careful putting this by the bed if you're easily frightened. I had a storm trooper one awhile ago and in the middle of the night I woke up, saw it, pissed myself, and then left my girlfriend to sleep in it while I crashed on the couch. And that was only a paltry storm trooper. Imagine what Vader would have done to me. I'm not ruling out the possibility of a moderate to serious #2 accident.

Darth Vader Lamp Scares Children [gizmodo]

Sep 14 2007 Fire Extinguisher Simulator Not Thrilling


Seeing how today is, uh, National Fire and Firehose and Fireman Day, I've decided to post more about fire. Safety training company BullEx Digital Safety has developed a fire extinguishing training system, that is scheduled to drop next month. Basically you watch a crappy looking fire on a crappy looking monitor and point a crappy ass fire extinguisher with green lasers at it to put it out. Whatever happened to starting real fires in the parking lot and letting your employees go at it with whatever they wanted? For the same price of this training system I will personally come to your place of business and burn that mother down. Screw a simulation, you need real world experience.

Fire Extinguisher Simulator Not Thrilling [therawfeed]

Sep 14 2007 USB Spypen Is Huge, Won't Trick Anyone


The Thanko Spydisk packs an SD card reader/writer along with 512 MB of its own flash memory into a pen the size of one of those jumbo pencils you used in kindergarten because you had no hand coordination. The USB connector is hidden under the pen cap, and the car reader is behind the pen's clip. It costs $50 plus shipping, and I question its spy-worthiness. Of course, I'm not a very good spy. The last time I tried to steal a company's trade secrets I didn't download anything, and accidentally uploaded my personal banking information, along with some private pictures my girlfriend and I took on vacation.

USB Spypen is Huge, Won't Trick Anyone [uberreview]

Sep 14 2007 Toaster Teapot Is Toaster And Teapot!


The Toaster Teapot is both a toaster and a teapot. Oh sweet mother, what will they think of next? I have been using both a toaster AND a teapot until now, and quite frankly, I've always felt like a douche. I'm not totally sure if it has anything to do with my breakfast preparation, but you never know. Better safe than sorry. It costs $56, and a neat idea, I guess. I just thought that you weren't supposed to mix toasters and liquids. Because my (now ex) wife tossed one in when I was taking a bubblebath one morning and, well, I still can't grow hair on my man purse.

Toaster Teapot Combines Toaster And Teapot! [uberreview]

Sep 14 2007 Zeno The Robot Boy Will Kill You


Zeno, a robot boy created by David Hanson, is scary as hell. David named the damn thing after his real 18-month-old son, Zeno (poor kid), and it is supposed to be available for commercial sale in the next three years (for $200 - $300). It stands 17 inches tall and weighs 6 pounds, and took 5 years to create. He comes equipped with facial recognition software, and will greet you by name when he recognizes you. He is controlled wirelessly via PC, and can talk, walk, and make eye contact. His face is made of "frubber", enabling a variety of facial expressions, which he uses himself because he has "his own moods" and makes "his own decisions". He is one scary little bastard. Is it just me, or does anybody else get the feeling that one of those decisions may be stabbing your f'ing eyes out one night?

A couple more frightening pics after the jump.

UPDATE: A scary as hell video added!

Continue Reading " Zeno The Robot Boy Will Kill You "

Sep 14 2007 Firemen Waste Water, Lift Car

As video proof that firemen are not just incredibly handsome, burly men that pose yearly in provocative calendars, comes this sweet firehose action. See, firemen are just regular people like you and I, that like having some good ol' fashioned fun when not risking their lives to save kittens and the elderly. I love how they just let the car slam into the ground at the end. Awesome. And this, dear friends, is what your local fire department is doing while your house burns to the ground.

[thanks to Fredz, the man with the hose ladies love, for the tip]

Sep 14 2007 USB Pedometer Not What I Thought It Was


When I first saw this thing, I thought it would be great to put on children, so that they'd know whenever a creepy man was in the vicinity and notify the authorities. Well, it turns out pedometer is a misnomer, and this thing actually tracks how many steps you take. You rock it on your pants, and then upload the data to your computer and it'll show you calories burned, etc. They cost $17 via usbfever and ship in early November if you're interested. This thing might actually be a pretty nifty workout device, because with that sweet bullseye design you're gonna be doing plenty of running to your car as rooftop snipers take aim.

Product Site [thanks to Thomas for the tip]

Sep 13 2007 Master Chief Suit For Sale On Ebay


Some guy had a Spartan Master Chief suit made and is now selling it on ebay. Allegedly it's the most accurate suit to date, and has been featured on several tv shows and in commercials. When I checked it this morning it was at $2,000 -- now it's at $4,025. Proving that someone out there that plays Halo also has some serious money in the bank. It's cool, and I want it. But come on man, how about some pictures not taken in front of the gazebo at the neighborhood park. You should be resting your foot on a skull, and maybe have a few dead enemies strewn around. You're making Master Chief seem like a ding-dong, and not the trained killing machine he is. Someone buy it for me anyways so I can wear it when I'm, well, all the time.

Several more after the jump.

Continue Reading " Master Chief Suit For Sale On Ebay "

Sep 13 2007 Laptop Mount For Your Dorm Bunkbed


This is kind of a neat idea, and I'm a huge fan of anything that lets me be lazier, but it leaves me still wanting something more. I mean you go to college to 1. drink beer 2. get laid, and 3. try to do both at the same time. Despite the Jim Beam poster in the back, I imagine this kid is still eyeing first from the dugout. Now I'm not saying this guy has never touched a boobie or anything, because we all know that will never happen, I'm just saying he may be the world's biggest masturbator.

A few more and a painful video after the jump.

Continue Reading " Laptop Mount For Your Dorm Bunkbed "

Sep 13 2007 Hidden Beer Fridge Perfect For Work


Some brilliantly brilliant genius has come up with an idea that may actually save humanity (or at least the lives of my coworkers). It's a mini-fridge disguised as photocopy paper boxes! I won't have to hide bourbon in the bottom of my desk drawer anymore -- I can stock cold beers! Oh happy day, Mr. Crafty Fridge Hider. I'm gonna grab some paper for the copier. If this guy could just disguise the secretary to look like someone I'm not cheating on my wife with, he'd be my all time hero.

Hidden Beer Fridge Perfect For Work [gizmodo]

Sep 13 2007 America's Army Coming To Arcades


America's Army, a game initially released on PCs as a U.S. Army recruiting tool, is making its way to your local arcade/bar.

The game is going to feature eight training mini-games that intend to bring highly authentic Army training exercises to players, along with a drill sergeant to ‘bring out the best in each player’. The game will also use leaderboards to encourage competition and reward players for teamwork and following the Rules of Engagement.

I can hardly wait. The shooting game at the local bar now sucks, and this thing is supposed to be bad ass. It's allegedly going to be using the latest version of the Unreal Engine, so the graphics should be straight. I've already got a moderately stiff boner just thinking about all the beer I'm going to swig and the terrorists I'm going to kill.

America's Army Coming To Arcades [thanks to Lee, Lord of Audio, for the tip]

Sep 13 2007 Bees Sniff Bombs, Make Explosive Honey


A company called Inscentinel Ltd. has developed Vapor Detection Instrumentation, which is scientific speak for a couple bees taped to a piece of foam. The bees stick out their tongues when they smell an odor they have been trained to detect. They have been tested on explosives, drugs, counterfeit goods, food quality, and even cancer. I guess it is pretty neat stuff they're doing there, but I can't help but feel sorry for those little bastards taped up in there looking all cute and cuddly. It does say though that "Bees are happy undertaking their sniffing tasks and are comfortable throughout." I'm just curious what metrics were used to determine the level of bee happiness while working. "Hey little guys you happy in there?" "Bzzzzzzzz" "See, totally happy."

UPDATE: For anyone concerned about the poor bees, according to the company "After their working shift the bees are returned to their hive where they happily live out the rest of their lives and are integrated back into the hive." See, sometimes life does have a happy ending, just not in my case.

A couple more pictures after the jump.

Continue Reading " Bees Sniff Bombs, Make Explosive Honey "

Sep 13 2007 Hug Shirt Spreads The Love


The Hug Shirt, from CuteCircuit, is a Bluetooth accessory for cell phones. It has been in the works for awhile (so you may have seen it), but is allegedly hitting streets soon. Basically the shirt has a bunch of Bluetooth sensors and actuators in it. When you hug yourself the information is sent via cell phone to your friend or lover, where their shirt will duplicate the hug you gave yourself. If you're like me, this is great, because I only wear one shirt all week long. Now if they could just duplicate the feeling of a sender's breasts, I would buy one yesterday.

Product Page [thanks to hug loving Sara for the tip]

Sep 12 2007 Ice Cream Machine Cures Sadness


Dr. Whippy is an ice cream machine with a twist. It uses voice stress analysis to determine a user's degree of unhappiness based on a list of predetermined questions, and then gives the sad bastard an appropriate amount of ice cream. More yummy goodness the sadder you are. I can see it now, my girlfriend tearing the damn thing open and faceplanting right in the ice cream bucket. Not because she's depressed, but because she loves ice cream and is fat. As hell.

Dr. Whippy Ice Cream Machine Cures Sadness [uberreview]

Sep 12 2007 Transformer Pillows A Hit With Children


ThinkGeek is selling these Transformer pillows for $20 a pop. You can choose between the traditional Autobot and Decepticon logos, and I want both. But, depending on the girl I bring home, I may have to throw them under the bed before she sees them. Unless I bag a good one, in which case we'll make out atop the Autobot. Or the Decepticon if she's freaky deaky.

Transformer Pillows A Hit With Children [uberreview]

Sep 12 2007 Toy Radar Gun Mod


A guy has turned one of those cheap Hot Wheels radar guns into something that, uh, stays on all the time and has more batteries. I've played with one of these things before and they're not bad. If you wanted you could point this at me in a bar and see how fast I pick up chicks, the only thing is it would read "the speed of light" and then the damn thing would explode in your face. I'm just saying, I'm quick.

Video instructions after the jump.

Continue Reading " Toy Radar Gun Mod "

Sep 12 2007 Beat Dress Lights Up To Music


The Beat Dress was part of a project for a Fashion and Technology course at Malmö University in Sweden. The dress has 10 detachable patches, each with 10 LEDs that are controlled by a microphone and equalizer. When sound or music is detected, the LEDs light up to the beat. It's kind of a neat idea, but I think it needs some work. That, and to not be constructed out of a potato sack. And it doesn't really need that top portion there, the part that covers the melons. Or the bottom part. Hell, it should just be a naked woman with a flashlight.

Beat Dress Lights Up To Music [ubergizmo]

Sep 12 2007 Dishmaker Prototype, Um, Makes Dishes


MIT Media Lab's Counter Intelligence Group (which is appropriate because this thing is definitely counter intelligent) came up with this Dishmaker prototype. Sure it looks like a big metal piece of crap with lots of exposed wires and a power strip, but it makes dishes. It holds 150 acrylic wafers at a time, and can make a dish in about 90 seconds, including bowls and cups. After use, the dish can be recycled by reheating to 300 degree Fahrenheit and re-flattening. Each wafer can be recycled approximately 100 times, making them, uh, fairly reusable. I'm still having a hard time understanding why this was made though. It's not like my dish space is a pressing concern. And you're not saving water because I'm sure the plates have to be cleaned between recyclings. Because if you didn't, you'd have less of a plate next time, and more of leftovers held together with plastic. Which is grody.

Dishmaker Prototype, Um, Makes Dishes [ubergizmo]

Sep 12 2007 Hanging Balls Of Outdoor Survival


Industrial designer John Moriarty has developed The Cocoon, which is an outdoor survival tent-like thing that you can hang from a tree. "Bright warm colors and fabrics on the inside help you stay warm by keeping your body heat in and any wind and wetness out." It does look nice and cozy doesn't it (except for the schematic where the guy is smashed up in there)? It's sort of like a womb, but a lot more like a man's change purse. This thing just makes sense. Dangling from a tree in a giant blue testicle is practically the definition of outdoor survival.

Hanging Balls Of Outdoor Survival [ohgizmo]

Sep 11 2007 Exercise Bike Lets You Race At Home


Made by German manufacturer Daum Electronics, the web enabled Ergo Bike Premium 8i (really rolls off the tongue doesn't it?) lets you race other bikers from around the world. It has a bunch of different virtual courses available, each based on a real place. You can chat with the other racers via VOIP, monitor their heart rates, and it even has a web cam in case anyone is biking topless. The unit costs $3,500. I would just challenge all the ladies online to a round of strip biking, then take the pedals off and attach a cordless drill and socket. It may sound like cheating, but there's no such thing as cheating when you haven't seen any boobies (except your own) in almost three years.

Exercise Bike Lets You Race At Home [uberreview]

Sep 11 2007 Rechargable Batteries Run On What?


Urine! That's right folks, the NoPoPo (!!!) batteries from Japan can be recharged using your own bodily fluid (or any other that's primarily water). When the charge dies in these things you use that little baster that it comes with to charge them back up. Allegedly the magnesium and carbon react in a magical way to produce more energy. No word on price or how you're supposed to get urine into the little squeeze tube, but I imagine not easily. Just don't get lazy and try to cut out that step by peeing directly in your electronics. You'll end up not charging anything but your personals. ZAP!

Rechargable Batteries Run On What? [therawfeed]

Sep 11 2007 GPS Trip Tracker Gets You In Trouble


Telespial Systems has developed the Super Trackstick, which is a GPS based trip tracker. It has magnets on the bottom, so you just slap it on your vehicle and take off. Two AAA batteries power the thing for a month, so when you get back to your home base you just jam that thing into a USB port and it will upload your trip to Google Earth so you can live it all over again. I'd get one ($275), but I'm too afraid of my girlfriend sticking it to the bottom of my Tempo to find out where I really go when I'm "working late". You know, because when I say that I'm not really at work, I'm out being promiscuous.

GPS Trip Tracker Gets You In Trouble [therawfeed]

Sep 11 2007 Makeover Toy For Girls Is Questionable


The GirlTech Digi Makeover is a device you plug into your tv and is the "fun way to change hairstyles, makeup, and accessories." It takes your picture via the onboard digital camera, and you can then put lipstick on and try different hair colors. It costs $94 and is made for children 6 and up. Because nothing quite says "daddy's little girl is going to grow up to be the best stripper ever" like buying this for your six year old daughter.

Makeover Toy For Girls Is Questionable [uberreview]

Sep 11 2007 Executive Batman Clock For Dorky Boss


If your boss is a dork and likes everyone to know it, then you should probably get him this bad boy, the Batman Collapsible Desk Clock. It looks like it's made of gold, but it isn't, because it costs $45. It's available through Skymall, a purveyor of the finest crap. When closed it looks like the traditional Batman logo. When open, it looks like the traditional Batman logo with a stupid clock in the middle. At only 4 inches when closed, it's tiny, almost as tiny as your boss's dangle-down. Isn't that right? Yeah buddy, we got him good on that one (high five).

Executive Batman Clock For Dorky Boss [popgadget]

Sep 11 2007 Cell Phone For Man's Best Friend


Petscell is a cell phone that attaches to your dog's collar so you can stay in contact during those long days at the cubicle. Of course, if you want something a little cooler you could go with this. The damn thing costs $499, which is freaking ridiculous for the most basic cell phone ever (minus being waterproof), and doesn't include activation or service. It automatically answers calls from a list you set, so your pet won't kill itself listening to telemarketers. And now if you'll excuse me, I've got to call my bitch.

Cell Phone For Man's Best Friend [popgadget]

Sep 10 2007 Tetris Furniture Probably Uncomfortable


If you live in your uncle's attic like I do, then you can appreciate making the most out of limited space. To help is the 2 + 1 chair and table combo thingy from sdesignunit that packs three pieces of furniture into one. It can be a dining table and two chairs, a couch, or a bed. The only problem is that, um, it's made of cardboard. Now I'm no stranger to passing out at the bar, and it's plenty comfy at the time, but when I do make it home I like something a little softer. Well, that, and my girlfriend pees the bed, which would ruin this thing. HAHA! Now everyone knows! Maybe next time you'll think before making my eggs so runny.

Tetris Furniture Probably Uncomfortable [ohgizmo]

Sep 10 2007 Supercomputer Does 26 Gigaflops, Is Cheap


Tim Brom of Calvin College built the Microwulf Supercomputer, that flips 26 gigaflops (26 billion double-precision floating point instructions per second) and cost $2,500 to build last year (and would only cost $1,256 to build today).

It consists of four microATX motherboards, each with a dual core CPU and 2 gigs of ram, all connected with an 8-port Gigabit Ethernet switch. The whole shebang also includes a CD/DVD drive and a 250 gb HD, and runs Ubuntu Linux.

I want one. Maybe in a slightly cooler case (like this), and with some, uh, dust protection (like this), and I'd be good to go. Ten points to Tim for the sweet computer, but minus two for having his Matrix poster rolled up in the corner.

One more design picture after the jump.

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Sep 10 2007 Flying Boat A Hit With Drug Smugglers


The Brio flying boat is just that -- a boat that flies! It goes up to 44 mph and can fly over 100 miles with a full load. Making it perfect for offshore drug smuggling. The kit costs $10,000 and comes with everything except the engine (so basically an inflatable boat and hang glider). You get to choose your own motor, which is fine with me, because I'm thinking jet engine. No word on altitude tests, but based on that first picture, I'd say it gets almost high enough to kill you if you fall.

A picture and a long video after the jump, but you'll get the idea after a minute.

Continue Reading " Flying Boat A Hit With Drug Smugglers "

Sep 10 2007 Shopping Cart Bike A Hit With The Homeless


Ryan McFarland, soon to be known as Lord of the Homeless, took the front tire off his bike and replaced the damn thing with a shopping cart. Apparently its steering is limited, which is no surprise, but who cares. It looks sweet and you can haul at least eight or twelve cases of beer on that thing. There is an instructables guide if you're interested, although I think you get the gist of how it was done. Just make sure not to steal one of those crappy buggies with wonky wheels. If you don't the only hauling you'll be doing is your ass to the hospital because you slammed into a parked car.

Shopping Cart Bike A Hit With The Homeless [instructables via ohgizmo]

Sep 10 2007 Make Your Own Lightbulb Lamps


If you're tired of lamps made of things like metal and wood that are relatively safe and unbreakable, then check out the offerings from Bulbsunlimited. They offer kits ($18 to $100) that provide the hardware (socket and plastic snaps) and a bulb marking guide to make very dangerous and fragile lamps out of lightbulbs. Of course if you're cheap you could just glue a bunch of bulbs together randomly for a similar effect. And if you're clumsy you can sit on it and be picking shards of out of your ass for months.

product site [via techeblog]

Sep 10 2007 Homemade Flame Thrower


Some idiots made a flamethrower out of what looks to be PVC pipe and tape. Then they filmed themselves shooting fireballs out of it and burning a defenseless tree. They also do some stupid stunt driving in their mom's station wagon, and throw a big screen down a flight of stairs. I love fire and explosions as much as the next guy, but these dorks are total unprofessionals. They're pretty much the world's biggest losers, and I think I want to be their friend. If being their friend means locking them all in the back of a U-Haul and driving it into the nearest lake.

The video after the jump.

Continue Reading " Homemade Flame Thrower "

Sep 7 2007 Note Toaster Burns Your Bread


The Note Toaster, designed by Sasha Tseng, is a toaster that will burn reminders into your breakfast. Using a stylus, you write on the top, and then the toaster heats your bread while burning the message in. No word of how the damn thing actually works, which means it probably doesn't, or is still conceptual. If I had to guess I'd say there is a laser involved, or maybe black magic/sorcery. I like it though, and want one. I even have my first message ready. "Honey, stop eating my damn bread and do the freaking dishes. Love, me."

A couple more pics after the jump.

Continue Reading " Note Toaster Burns Your Bread "

Sep 7 2007 Drumpants Are Drums In Your Pants!


Odbol (Tyler Freeman), a guy who looks like he's playing with himself where ever he goes, has made a pair of drumpants. Drumpants are pants that have Piezo transducer triggers in them that become MIDI data, and are then pushed to a drum machine. So you basically play the drums by beating yourself in the legs repeatedly. It's a neat idea, but I'm up in the air about its coolness. It's weird, you'd think the person who made these pants would be a hardcore drummer, and be able to wail on those things. Instead, it was made by a kind of leprachaun who plays like my niece.

Video proof after the jump.

Continue Reading " Drumpants Are Drums In Your Pants! "

Sep 7 2007 Computer Themed Cupcakes A Party Hit!


Cakes By 2 Moms made these delicious looking cupcakes, each featuring an Apple or computer themed icon. They look tasty as hell, but aren't apple flavored (which would have scored more points). That's okay though, because apple cupcakes would probably taste like ass anyways, especially with chocolate frosting. You know, I've been trying to develop my own line of cakes for awhile now, but every time I try they turn out less like computer inspired deliciousness, and more like my fat girlfriend eating all the batter before the oven preheats.

Apple Themed Cupcakes A Party Hit! [gizmodo]

Sep 7 2007 Very Large LED Screen in Beijing


A 250 meter x 30 meter LED screen was installed in Beijing as a centerpiece for The Place, which is a shopping mall located in the business district. The thing cost $32 million, is 80 feet above the ground, and actually 5 separate screens combined. It can play video games, live events, and visitors can even upload photos to view. However, it is primarily used as a virtual aquarium, with sharks and fish swimming by. Which, for $32 million, seems like a waste of money. I was just at the aquarium the other day, and they had tanks that seemed that big. And not only that, but if the attendant isn't paying attention and you have long enough arms -- free sushi.

A few more pictures and a video after the jump.

Continue Reading " Very Large LED Screen in Beijing "

Sep 7 2007 Grenade Alarm Clock Is Not Explosive


No matter how hard I try I always wake up in the morning. I'm getting tired (!) of it. Because leaving the bed sucks, I try to make the experience as pleasant as possible. That's where the hookers and drugs come into play. If that's not for you, then check this puppy out. It's a Hand Grenade Alarm Clock from Toyo Trading that you have to chuck at the wall (or ceiling fan) to turn off. Pretty clever eh? Yeah, I don't know about it either. I'm sticking to mine, which is two breasts you have to rub tenderly in order to turn off. It's called my girlfriend, and she always wakes me up in the morning talking about how handsome I am and how I'm the world's sexiest lover.

Grenade Alarm Clock Is Not Explosive [therawfeed]

Sep 6 2007 Keys Find Remote, Remote Finds Keys!


So those crazy folks at Skymall are selling an invention that might actually be useful, unlike, well, most of their stuff, including this thing. It's a keyring that can locate your remote, and a remote that can find your keyring. Whee! They're made by GE and cost $45 a set, which is too expensive. But I still need them. Of course, whenever I lose my keys or remote I should just realize that 1. I don't have keys, I have a chauffeur, and 2. I don't have a remote, I have topless models that walk up and change the channel for me.

Keys Find Remote, Remote Finds Keys! [ohgizmo]

Sep 6 2007 Keep Your Fruit Fresh And Unblemished


I can tell you want one already, even without being entirely sure what it is. Well that's understandable, I was the same way when I first saw it. Introducing the Banana Guard! It keeps your favorite taser shaped fruit safe and unbruised on your way to work or school. They cost $6, and are available in a variety of colors, with glow in the dark coming out soon. What better way to look cool and let people know you care about fruit than rocking the Banana Guard. Excuse me sir, is that a Banana Guard in your pocket? Hell no lady, that's my penis. I ate my unbruised banana for lunch. Thanks Banana Guard!

One more of the benefits of the product after the jump.

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Sep 6 2007 Sony's Bio Battery Runs On Sugar


Sony has unveiled a prototype battery that generates electricity from sugar. The model displayed generates approximately 50 milliwatts from the four 1.5" cells, enough to power a digital Walkman. A sugar solution is poured into each of the cells, where enzymes break it down, generating electricity. Sony plans to manufacture the batteries for commercial sale, but did not say when. Hopefully they'll get the size down in the meantime, because right now it looks like one of those "day of the week" pill holders old people use. Of course, had Sony just asked nicely, I would have sold them my technology, which turns me and beautiful ladies, into, well, me and beautiful ladies doing it.

Sony's Bio Battery Runs On Sugar [ubergizmo]

Sep 6 2007 Sweetest Cell Phone Mod Ever!


A mystery person has modded a Motorola ROKR into a freaking transforming robot. And apparently the whole thing still works making calls and taking pictures, etc.! I kid you not ladies and gentlemen. The pictures tell all, and these pictures tell me that there is hope for mankind yet. I mean, with this kind of ingenuity we can surely cure cancer and world hunger. This man/woman is our last hope. We need him/her to come forward and reveal their identity so that this planet can be saved. Okay fine, I really just want them to come forward because with their modding skills, I know there's hope of turning my balding, toothless whore of a girlfriend into something more pleasing to me, and less pleasing to every guy hanging out at the laundromat.

A bunch more pictures after the jump.

Continue Reading " Sweetest Cell Phone Mod Ever! "

Sep 6 2007 Bomb Proof Speed Camera


Currently in use in Holland, Peek Traffic's IDEE, or Innovative Digital Enforcement Environment, is designed to capture speeders using both radar technology, as well as induction loops in the road. The four high resolution digital cameras use infra-red flashes, so speeders don't know they're being snapped. They cost up to $100,000 each and are allegedly bomb and fire proof. Any vibrations or smoke detected by the system sends an alert to the nearest police station. While this is very clever, is the glass paint proof? It seems like they should tackle that before worrying about bombs and fire. It's like locking the door, putting down the blinds, and turning your music up loud before making sweet love to yourself, then realizing your mom is in the room. First things first.

One more of the camera in all its glory after the jump.

Continue Reading " Bomb Proof Speed Camera "

Sep 5 2007 Spaceport America to Open in 2010


Spaceport America is scheduled to open in 2010, and this is the final design. Located in New Mexico, it's to be 100,000 square feet and cost about $31 million to build. Incorporating the latest in green technology, it promises to be environmentally friendly (minus all the rocket fuel). It will serve as a functional spaceport where Virgin Galactic will transport rich people here or even further into the cosmos. For poor people it will be a tourist attraction. It will also serve as the headquarters of the XPrize Cup and the Rocket Racing League and look like a public restroom toilet seat when viewed from above.

An interior shot after the jump.

Continue Reading " Spaceport America to Open in 2010 "

Sep 5 2007 Real Life Simpsons House


Fox and Pepsi got together and constructed a real life Simpsons house, then gave it away to the lucky winner of some contest. Sure it happened nearly ten years ago, but I had never seen it. The house is located in Nevada, and reminds me of my dreams when I've eaten fish right before bed. It's pretty awesome, and I'm going to have to make the current owner an offer they can't refuse. A roommate who drinks all day and doesn't clean up after himself.

A few more pictures after the jump.

Continue Reading " Real Life Simpsons House "

Sep 5 2007 Pirate Vs. Ninja Batteries


Think Geek has come out with both pirate and ninja batteries, because, well, when it comes to powering electronics, sometimes a stupid bunny just doesn't cut it. They only come in AA size and cost $2.99 for 4, which is a ripoff. It's not like very many of my electronics have see through battery covers so everyone will know my affiliation. "Hey man take the battery cover off the remote and check out what's inside." "Dude, are these freaking ninja batteries? You know pirates would totally kill the hell out of some ninjas." "Nu-uh man, ninjas rule." "Ninjas suck, and I got with your girlfriend last night and we did a little plundering while you were busy playing Shinobi."

Pirate Vs. Ninja Batteries [gizmodo]

Sep 5 2007 Spy Sunglasses With Digital Recorder


Sure spy sunglasses have existed for awhile (I've been using mine for several years), but now they're available in styles beyond the traditional black "yes there is a camera in these glasses" frame. AND they're shipping with a personal video recorder so you can instantly watch the action or replace an SD card. They record in both NTSC and PAL and you're looking at about 510 x 492 effective pixels for NTSC. You can get them through Spycatcheronline for $1,400, which is too rich for my blood, but maybe someone out there can afford them. The only problem with these is, cool looking spy sunglasses or not, the women in the locker room are still going to scream and call security when they see you standing in the corner.

Spy Sunglasses With Digital Recorder [ohgizmo]

Sep 5 2007 Laptop Fire Case Study 2


Well I'm sure you all fondly remember the first laptop case study, teaching us what not to do in case of an electronics fire. Well here is case study number two, which illustrates the proper way to respond should your laptop burst into flames. This case study comes to us from Shanghai. Sure China is trying to kill all our children with lead based toys, but damn can they handle a laptop fire with gusto!

Laptop fire Step 1. Don't move the laptop from its original location. This is vital (and often overlooked because you don't want your house/office to burn down), but you will see its importance when you move to 2. Ignore putting out the fire for the time being and start taking as many digital pictures as you can. With the laptop in its natural habitat, we can really get a feel for the moment. At this point there is an optional step 3. which consists of inviting friends over and/or cracking a beer while you watch it burn. After inhaling your fair share of fumes, you can now 4. go ahead and put the damn thing out. Stomp it, pour something/urinate on it, or use a fire extinguisher (less style points for that though). Lastly you should post the pictures on the internet and eat that now chemically laced pomegranate on the desk and wash it down with your tainted coffee. Thanks for the lead China, and for the awesome laptop fire know-how!

A few more pictures after the jump.

Continue Reading " Laptop Fire Case Study 2 "

Sep 5 2007 Fan Blades For Batman/Dragon Fans


Etsy has designed blades for ceiling fans that look like bat wings, or dragon wings if bats don't do it for you. They come in sets of 4, 5, and 6 and start at $40. They allegedly move just as much air as less scary looking blades, so you won't lose any efficiency if you buy them. But if you want to be really hardcore, get what I got, which is a razor blade ceiling fan. The first time you take your shirt off while standing underneath is absolutely exhilarating!

Fan Blades For Batman/Dragon Fans [ohgizmo]

Sep 4 2007 Personal UFOs Now Available

You may have seen this video already, but I'm here to announce that the vehicle featured, the Moller M200X is to be available before the end of the year. Depending on the number of orders, prices should be around $90,000 for a model that is limited to 10 feet of levitation (and thus requires no FAA certification). A rescue configuration capable of docking with skyscrapers will run around $450,000. Now call me crazy, but I'm going to wait for the model that doesn't require a crane overhead to keep it from dropping out of the sky and killing me.

A few more videos of other Moller hover-things after the jump.

Continue Reading " Personal UFOs Now Available "

Sep 4 2007 German Pants Have iPod Controls


These suede German lederhosen have integrated iPod controls beneath one of the pockets. The MP3 player is integrated into the pants as well, but where is a mystery -- hopefully not too close to where your change purse hangs. I don't like the idea of electronics too close to the jewels. I bet you could ride the subway with these things on and play with yourself the whole time. If anyone screams just point to the controls and tell them you're trying to find your favorite song. Then when they ask why you have your ding-a-ling in your hand just throw in that you're German and you'll be good to go.

German Pants Have iPod Controls [ohgizmo]

Sep 4 2007 Sony's Rolly An Egg Shaped Media Player

What is that blurry egg shaped thing in the video you ask? Well apparently that's Sony's new media player, the Rolly. When I first saw it I thought it was football sized, but when you watch the end of the video you see that it's really just the size of an emu egg. It doesn't have a display and may be controlled with only one button and a possible accelerometer. I just don't know about this thing. The video made me want to claw my eyes out, and I don't think I need a media player that rolls off the desk and breaks itself.

Sony's Rolly An Egg Shaped Media Player [engadget]

Sep 4 2007 Sticky Lights Are Lights That Are Sticky


Sticky Lights, created by Chris Kabel for Droog Design, are light bulbs in a plastic case that, uh, stick to walls. They cost $27 per unit, and you have to buy at least two. They stick using an adhesive back, so you basically get one shot at placement before the glue wears off and they fall off the damn wall. But really, what more would you expect from a light bulb that sucks to walls? Did I say suck? I meant stick. They stick to walls. Sucking is just an added bonus.

Product Site

Sep 4 2007 Man Makes Escher's "Relativity" with LEGOs


Andrew Lipson, a LEGO building genius, has recreated M.C. Escher's "Relativity" with LEGOs. It looks damn good, and I think it is safe to say that he should win some kind of award for doing such a bang up job. Just don't look at it for too long though, because I think I did, and now my head is spinning and I just threw up Fruity Pebbles on my sleeping girlfriend.

A few more of the construction after the jump, along with the original for comparison.

Continue Reading " Man Makes Escher's "Relativity" with LEGOs "

Sep 4 2007 My Private Sky Plates


If you have more money than you know what to do with, then the guys at Kram/Weisshaar can help you get rid of some. For an undisclosed amount they will create a custom set of plates that depict the night sky exactly as it was the time and place of your birth. The plates are painted in gold and platinum, and a set can contain over 500 stars, nebulae, spaceships, etc. Of course, if you have the money for these things, call me and for the same price I'll do your bedroom ceiling with glow in the dark stickers.

My Private Sky Plates [kitsune noir]

Sep 3 2007 Solar Powered Water Purification


Designers Alberto Medo and Francisco Gomez Paz have developed solar powered purification bottles, cleverly named Solar Bottles. They hold over a gallon of water, and take about six hours to kill off the majority of things that aren't good for you, through a combination of high temperature and UV-A exposure. I think these things are a great idea. Because, let's face it, drinking a camping buddy's urine makes you less of a survivalist, and more of a sicko fetish person.

Solar Powered Water Purification [engadget]

Sep 3 2007 Coffee Table Arcade Game


The Surface Tension Contemporary Arcade Coffee Table is a coffee table with a monitor under the glass and fold out video game controls. It's actually just a computer built into a coffee table that has video game controls, but whatever. That's probably better than having a dedicated video game console anyways, because eventually you'll have to take a break from gaming to search for naked lady pictures. While certainly better than this coffee table, the damn thing costs $6,600, which is completely uncalled for. I'll be sticking to my version of the coffee table gaming system, which is, well, Scrabble.

Coffee Table Arcade Game [ohgizmo]