The End Nears: Drone Programmed To Dodge Balls Thrown At It

May 17, 2019

Because what good is a killer drone if it can't dodge a projectile hurled from a member of the human resistance, this is a video from the University of Zurich's Robotics and Perception Group of an autonomous quadropter that uses motion sensors to dodge balls thrown at it. "But can it dodge a wrench?" I don't understand the reference. Some more info:

"These are sensors that are not good at interpreting a scene visually like a regular camera, but they're extremely sensitive to motion, responding to changes in a scene on a per-pixel basis in microseconds. A regular camera that detects motion by comparing one frame with another takes milliseconds to do the same thing, which might not seem like much, but for a fast-moving drone it could easily be the difference between crashing into something and avoiding it successfully."

Obviously, our only hope of defeating the killer drones of the future will be throwing multiple objects at them simultaneously and hoping they can't dodge them all. Will we all wind up skewered by friendly-fired spears? Probably. Except me -- I'll probably be speared on purpose when I'm found eating all the rations in the supply closet after I lied and said I'd take night guard duty.

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Dare To Dream: Scooter Backflip Down 20 Stairs

May 17, 2019

This is a video of world champion scooterer Dante Hutchinson backflipping down the iconic El Toro 20 at El Toro High School in Lake Forest, California. For reference, just like a tin of Planters, that's entirely nuts. That was a RISKY MANEUVER, and he just barely manages to clear them all. You know I remember when I used to go out skateboarding with friends in high school my buddy Eli always used to yell GO BIG OR GO HOME even though I'd already made my choice and called my mom for a ride like a half hour prior.

Keep going for the full video, complete with celebratory aftermath.

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70-Year Old Florida Man Stands Through Sunroof And Spreads His Wings While Cruising Down Interstate

May 17, 2019

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This is a short video of 70-year old Florida Man (I had no idea Florida Man could even survive that long) Leonard Olsen Jr. hanging out the sunroof of his Cadillac while cruising down Interstate 4 in Hillsborough County like he's the bride-to-be in a limo during a bachelorette party. He was eventually arrested for the behavior, but claimed it was safe because "the car drives itself and has a gigantic computer in it." And why was he doing this in the first place? Oh, you know, because he "thought it would be a nice way to praise God for a minute." Granted I'm pretty sure that's an even better way to meet God, but whatever. Could things get weirder? Let's see, according to Florida Highway Patrolman:

"Mr. Olsen stated that he wanted to turn himself in to an 'official' and asked if he could turn himself in to me. When asked 'why do you want to do that?' Mr. Olsen stated 'My wife treats me like a servant and she's the mistress and I'm tired of this s---,'" the report reads.


Olsen later told Binet that he would rather be sent to jail than to return home.

Well that was a twist. Are you taking notes, M. Night Shyamalan? Florida Man knows how to flip the script. Of course I'm not convinced he was actually praising God or tired of the way his wife treats him, I think he just wanted to feel like Rose in Titanic but was too Florida Man to admit it. Remember, *packing Sherlock pipe with pencil shavings* the simplest answer is often the correct one.

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Heck Yeah: Video From This Year's Easter Fireworks Battle In Chios, Greece

May 17, 2019

Because church isn't entirely about getting reprimanded for drinking too much blood at communion, this is a video of the annual Rouketopolemos fireworks battle between two rival congregations on the Greek island of Chios. The 50,000+ firework battle takes place the night before Easter every year and, from what I gathered from the video, the object is to try to hit Hogwarts Castle as many times as possible.

Keep going for the, with a bunch of different angles of the battle.

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Machine Learning Engineers Use AI To Create Near-Perfect AI Simulation Of Joe Rogan's Voice

May 17, 2019

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This is a video (audio with still images) of an artificial intelligence voice synthesizer created by machine learning engineers Hashiam Kadhim, Joe Palermo and Rayhane Mama using Joe Rogan's voice as a model. Everything you hear in the clip is the result of a deep-learning system they developed called RealTalk, which converts any text typed into the model's authentic sounding voice (it even does some tongue-twisters). Some pros and cons of the technology as imagined by Medium:

Pros:


- Talking to a voice assistant in a way that feels as natural as talking to a friend
- Customized voice applications -- for instance, a workout app that contains a personalized pre-workout pep talk from Arnold Schwarzenegger
- Improved accessibility options for people that communicate through text-to-speech devices, for example, people with Lou Gehrig's disease
-Automating voice dubbing for any media and in any language

Con artists:

- Spam callers impersonating your mother or spouse to obtain personal information
- Impersonating someone for the purposes of bullying or harassment
- Gaining entrance to high security clearance areas by impersonating a government official
- An 'audio deepfake' of a politician being used to manipulate election results or cause a social uprising

I didn't even think about all that, all I could think about is how awesome my cell phone voice mail greeting is about to get. "Even better than the current one that says you're probably in the bathroom and then you hear a toilet flush then a bunch of cursing and screaming?" Haha, my legs fell asleep and I crashed into the towel bar trying to stand up. But you're right -- equal but different.

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Damn: F-16 Fighter Jet Crashes Into Warehouse

May 17, 2019

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This is a video news report showing some not very great footage of a US Air National Guard F-16 fighter jet crashing into a warehouse near the March Air Reserve Base in Riverside County, California. Apparently the pilot ejected following hydraulic problems that caused him to lose control of the plane. Thankfully (and amazingly), there were no serious injuries in the crash, although a dozen warehouse workers were treated for minor cuts as a result of falling debris. Now, according to the internet the value of an F-16 is estimated to be between $25 and 30-million dollars, so that was an expensive crash. Maybe not as expensive as me crashing into a parked car on one of those electric scooters that are everywhere, but my life is priceless. "Your mom tried to bet you on a turtle race." I meant to me -- my life is priceless to me.

Keep going for the video news report, as well as a better video of the damage from inside the warehouse from a worker there.

All The Emotions In 23 Seconds: Girl Witnesses Childbirth For The First Time

May 17, 2019

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This is a video of 15-year old Maya watching her older sister Michelle give birth to her second baby girl. *opens desk drawer, pulls tequila bottle from underneath file folder, takes a slug* Nothing can ever prepare you for that. Some more info:

As delivery approached, one of the delivery nurses tugged her over to the foot of the bed so she could get a full view of the birthing process. She shared so many mixed emotions in a very short time frame! She stated she was in pain as she watched the baby's head coming out. As baby's head emerged, her expression turned to disbelief and shock, then amniotic fluid sprayed everywhere and on everyone. As baby continued to make her way into this world, relief and joy came over her. She tearfully gazed at her sister and new baby niece as love and joy overtook her.

I thought she did incredibly well. And I'm not just saying that because I would have passed out, but I would have passed out. I even passed out watching the childbirth video in 10th grade health class, and I have a scar on the side of my head where I hit the leg of the desk next to mine to prove it. *shrug* I guess at least they weren't still teaching that storks bring them.

Keep going for the roller coaster of emotions.

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Thanks, Internet!: Tiny Shrek Runs Dog Agility Course

May 17, 2019

Because the internets, just like my girlfriend's eyes when she tries to take me out to a fancy dinner and I act like the wild animal that I am, never stop rolling, this is a video of a tiny Shrek running a dog agility course, as edited by Twitter user chanbanhi (with a bunch of other fun edits). It is definitely one of my favorite videos to come out of the internet in recent history. Still, no word how Shrek placed, but my guess is *slipping on cool guy shades* Best In Showgre. Well? "Well what?" My back isn't going to pat itself! (Although my penis did manage to tie itself in a knot once on a water slide)

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