Hey guys I'll be back tomorrow. I wish not being around had something to do with St. Patty's Day but unfortunately it does not. A hangover would be a walk in the park right now. I'll meet you tomorrow on the bench by the duck pond, and don't bring bread unless it's for sandwiches, it isn't good for them.
Houston, we have a problem.
This is a video of strong windsabsolutely body-slamming a tractor trailer on a highway in Amarillo, Texas. Just like the man recording the video says, "Oh my God....oh my God. *then, after finding Jesus* Whoa my gosh." You said it bro. Now, based on the sign the tractor trailer takes out while sliding sideways down the highway, the posted speed limit there is 75MPH. I don't think the truck was going that fast, and I would argue if it had been going faster it could have actually beat the wind in this race and prevented getting blown over. "You really are an idiot." Whatever, I passed my driving test the first time I took it after the mandatory six month probationary period for failing it three times in a row previously.
Keep going for the whole video.
This is a video of rescue dog Kratu performing on the Crufts 2019 agility course and marching to the beat of his own drummer. *listens closely, smiles knowingly recognizing a Travis Barker Blink-182 drum solo* Apparently Kratu was rescued from "absolutely terrible conditions" in Romania, and, along with a bunch of other rescue dogs, got to participate in the Crufts agility course for fun and awareness. Fantastic job, 5/5 completed adoption applications and all the treats.
Keep going for the video while I finance some farmland and adopt all the dogs like everyone always dreams of.
Seen here looking like the aftermath of a late night trip to Taco Bell (no regrets), this is a video from the PressTube channel of 1400°C (2552°F) lava being poured onto a bed of -78°C (-108°F) dry ice. I don't know about you, but I was really hoping for a gigantic explosion. My complete lack of thermodynamics knowledge aside, the cooling lava does form a pretty neat design. You could probably even sell it for a hefty fortune provided you find the right gullible buyer and tell them it's a rare, lightweight meteorite. People are such suckers. *thirty minutes later* "Hey GW, wanna buy a rare, lightweight meteorite?" I'll give you double what you're asking, I have to have it!
Keep going for the video.
This is a timelapse video of a Martian sunset created by 'space artist' Donald E Davis using a series of photos recently captured by NASA's InSight Mars lander. I'm gonna be honest, it's pretty hazy and bleak looking. Definitely not the sort of sunset you'd be hoping to see when you're on a tropical beach vacation with that special someone. And probably not one you could post on Instagram to make everyone jealous. Except me, because you're on Mars and I'm stuck here at work with a bunch of jerks I have to spend every weekday with. "Hiya, coworker pal -- mind giving me a hand putting these new supplies away?" Only if you choke on a ballon and die first, Greg.
Keep going for the video.
These are a couple shots of the phone that saved an Australian man from being struck in the face by an arrow fired by an attacker on his property. Apparently he was raising the phone to take a photo of the man when it was hit. A police account of what happened while I my mind is blown that all those people who walk around with their noses always buried in the phones have actually been carrying shields:
About 9am (Wednesday 13 March 2019), a 43-year-old man drove into his driveway on Nimbin Road and got out of his car.
He noticed another man, who is known to him, standing outside his property allegedly armed with a bow and arrow.The resident held up his mobile phone to take a photo of the armed man who then engaged the bow and was ready to fire.
It's alleged the man fired the arrow at the resident which pierced through the man's mobile phone causing the phone to hit him in the chin. It left a small laceration that didn't require medical treatment.
Officer's from Richmond Police District were called and arrested a 39-year-old man at the scene.
He was taken to Nimbin Police Station where he was charged with armed with intent to commit an indictable offence, assault occasioning actual bodily harm and malicious damage.
Man, he must have been holding onto that phone pretty tight. And what kind of screen protector is that, because I'm only buying that brand from now on. Still, no word if this would-be puncture wound victim was bitten and killed by a venomous snake later that same day, but I can only assume. Australia: it gets what it wants, and it wants you dead.
Thanks to Jacques, who agrees they should try to salvage the storage on that phone and see if it managed to capture a shot of the arrow coming right at it.
Seen here practicing for a drone race he'll never win, a man flies his quadrocopter through a closed sliding door at high speed, easily breaking the glass and knocking over a chair. Obviously, his wife or mom is going to kill him. When reached for comment about the incident, the man admitted his time probably would have been better spent repainting the room instead of smashing a hole in one of its doors.
Keep going for the whole video, complete with guy's devastated reaction.
This is a graphic created by @LoriLewis and @OfficiallyChadd for Visual Capitalist showing some of the things that happen on the internet every sixty seconds (on average). I wouldn't really call it a pie chart since all the pieces are all the same size with vastly different values, it's more just a graphic. Is it accurate? No clue, although I find it hard to believe only $996,956 are spent on the internet every minute. That seems low in my opinion, and my opinion is actually much more fact than it is opinion. The other values seem a lot more quantifiable. Of course they failed to include that every forty minutes the Geekologie Writer accidentally mass emails a steamy love letter meant for his girlfriend to all his coworkers. They've started printing them out and sticking them to the fridge in the break room so people have something to read while they're microwaving their lunches. I hope you ordered a crazy boner with that Lean Cuisine, Greg.
Keep going for a comparison to 2018's numbers.
