What Did You Think Was Gonna Happen?: Bicyclist Clotheslines Self On Opening Garage Door

June 20, 2019

This is a short video of a bicyclist with piss-poor spacial awareness (a very undesirable trait for a bicyclist) who decides to ride face-first into an opening garage door. Now I'm not saying somebody's mom clearly needs to buy them a bike helmet for their next birthday, because that helmet needs to be bought immediately or this man probably won't live to see another cake.

Keep going for the whole video, but the gif is really it.

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Oh Wow: A High-End Line Of Star Wars Home Furniture

June 20, 2019

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This is the Star Wars furniture collection from Kenneth Cobonpue. The collection includes Imperial TIE fighter armchairs, TIE fighter end tables, a Darth Sidious armchair, a Darth Vader armchair, Chewbacca rocking stool, Jedi floor lamp and hanging Jedi lamp. I like the lamps. I'm not sure how much they cost, but the Chewbacca rocking stool is $1,345 and the TIE fighter chairs are $2,700 apiece, so I'm guessing *reverses to get a better look at the burnt sofa somebodoy set out by the curb* a little out of my budget.

Keep going for a bunch more product shots.

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Finally, An Augmented Reality Demo Of Roaches Storming A Kitchen

June 20, 2019

This is a video demonstration of Laanlabs's 6d.ai augmented reality meshing technology, which basically 3D maps real-time smartphone video so augmented objects can interact in 3D space. In this case, a bunch of roaches overtaking everything in a kitchen. Pretty freaky, right? Reminds me of my kitchen, just with fewer roaches. And where's the big rat?

Keep going for the whole video while I shudder remembering the sound of a roach popping underneath my bare foot last night when I went for a midnight snack.

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Man Takes Airborne Water Battle And Two Others Out With A Back Spinning High Kick

June 20, 2019

This is a video of Sensei Seth launching a plastic water bottle into the air with one kick, then taking it and two others out with an additional back spinning high kick. I was impressed. I only hope when Sensei Seth was done with his little demonstration here that he recycled those bottles and didn't just roundhouse kick them into the ocean.

Keep going for the video (including funny face at the end) while I call the Ninja Turtles and ask if they need any help fighting water bottles, because I think I just found their guy.

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Right Up There With The Removable Thumb Trick: This Seven-Fingered Hand Trick

June 19, 2019

This is a short gif of a woman performing a very clever seven-fingered hand trick. I thought it was fake at first but I was actually able to replicate the illusion with pretty decent results myself. Obviously, the next step will be-- "Working your penis into the routine before unveiling it to your friends." You really can read me like a book, can't you? "I can." Would you say I'm a steamy romance novel? "No." A suspenseful thriller? "No." I'm one of those 'For Dummies' books, aren't I? "Not for -- by." Hoho, I'll be crying about that in the shower later.

Thanks again to Luc, who agrees magic is everywhere you just have to forget to wear your glasses.

The Truckla, A Telsa Modded Into A Pickup Truck

June 19, 2019

These are two videos from inventor Simone Giertz of her Truckla, a Tesla Model 3 she modded into a pickup truck. The first video is a fake commercial for the Truckla, the second much longer video (thirty minutes!) documents how the modifications were made. Now I don't know about you, but I'm feeling inspired. "You're not modding a Tesla into a monster truck." And why not? "For one, you don't have the money to buy a Tesla." Not buy -- lease. "And what happens when it's time to turn it back in?" Oh I'll be dead long before then, presumably after trying to jump the Grand Canyon and coming up six miles short.

Keep going for the videos.

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Well That Sucks: Irish Barman Spills Two Trays Of Beer Back-To-Back

June 19, 2019

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This is a video of an unfortunate barman at the Old Storehouse Bar And Restaurant in Dublin, Ireland spilling two trays of beer in a row while trying to deliver them to a table. I probably would have quit, especially with that jerk in the Tommy Hilfiger shirt laughing and clapping right behind me. If I were this guy I would have told that turd to stay right where he was, then ripped off my work shirt Hulk-style, demanded a Guinness and three shots of Jameson from the bar, slammed them all in under a minute and immediately proceeded to-- "Make love to a dartboard." Exactly.

Keep going for the video.

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Delta Turns 757 Engine Into Massive Grilling Station

June 19, 2019

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These are a couple shots and a video of the Pratt & Whitney PW2000 jet engine from a Boeing 757 that Delta Air Lines TechOps (the maintenance, repair and overhaul division of Delta Air Lines) modded into two large grilling stations (an identical unit on each side) for use at the company's Operations Control Center in Atlanta, Georgia. Man, that thing must make for one hell of an employee appreciation day. My last employee appreciate day? I got sick to my stomach. "Were the burgers too pink?" THE SLIP WAS TOO PINK. "You're saying you were fired on employee appreciate day." That's what I'm saying because that's what happened. "GW, can you even tell the difference between your own truths and lies anymore?" Not for quite some time, no.

Keep going for a video of one of the motorized doors opening and its bitchin' light effects.

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