Motion Activated Doorknob Lights Up In The Dark So You Can Find It

December 5, 2019

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This is the $50 Illumiknobi designed and sold by Pin & Tumbler Studio. Not only was it geniusly named, but it lights up when you approach it at night so you can see where it is. It's powered by a single coin-cell battery, which can allegedly power the knob for a whole year. Obviously, it's perfect for finding the bathroom door at night without fumbling around and waking your partner. I mean, at least not until the earsplitting diarrhea.

Keep going for a couple more shots and a video.

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Blue Screen Of Death Strikes Fancy Mall Display

December 5, 2019

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This is a shot from a mall (does anybody recognize it? And does it have an arcade and Orange Julius?) where the computer operating a fancy twisted display got hit with a dreaded blue screen of death. Man, it's been a while since I've seen one of those. Boner pill pop-ups? All the time. I welcome them with open arms like an old friend you have to hug from a distance.

Thanks to Linby, who agrees the mall IT department ain't what it used to be.

Whatever Works: Video of A BMW On Fire Being Extinguished By A Septic Truck

December 4, 2019

Because some people don't know when to just let something burn, this is a video from Samara, Russia of a BMW X6 that caught fire and a septic truck extinguishing it with a stream of liquid waste. Man, if only Youtube videos were scratch-and-sniff. "You're saying you would scratch this one." Absolutely, and anybody who says they wouldn't is a liar or can't because they don't have fingernails.

Keep going for the full video.

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Holy Smokes: Martial Artist's Insanely Impressive Jumping On Water Illusion

December 4, 2019

This is a video of Chinese martial artist Xiao Qiang repeatedly taking the invisible step trick to the next level and appearing to jump on water. Now that is impressive. For reference, I got lightheaded standing up from the toilet too fast this afternoon and hit my head on the coat hook on the inside of the stall door. "Jesus, you need stitches." I AIN'T NO SNITCH.

Keep going for the video while I superglue my hand to my head.

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Finally, Smash Mouth's 'All Star' Covered On Wind Instruments Made From Melons

December 4, 2019

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Because everybody needs a hobby, this is a video of possible Steve Aoki impersonator and Youtuber Pupsi (I'm more of a Cuke guy myself) covering Smash Mouth's 'All Star' using nothing but the wind instruments he constructed from various melons. And speaking of melons-- "Boobies!" I swear, I can't take you anywhere. "We're at a strip club." WE'RE HERE FOR THE BUFFET. Now fill your pockets with that diced honeydew and don't even think about getting a lap dance afterwards.

Keep going for the video while I fill my pockets with boiled hotdogs. Song actually begins at 1:45, everything prior to that is instruments construction.

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Sure, Why Not?: An X-Ray Cat Necklace

December 4, 2019

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This is the 'X Ray Anatomical Gothic Skeleton Cat Necklace Jewelry - Macabre Witch Witchy Pagan Wiccan Skull Anatomy Animal Halloween Necklace Jewelry' designed and sold by Etsy shop BirchPleaseHQ. The laser-cut acrylic necklace is printed with UV inks, measures about 2.5-inches by 2-inches, includes a nickel-free or silver-plated chain, and costs $33. It even has a little mouse in its stomach! Me? I've never had a mouse in my stomach, but when I was younger I would take the ball out of the bottom and swish it around in my mouth waiting to connect to AOL.

Keep going for one more shot.

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