Dead, Back Tomorrow

October 22, 2018

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What's up, I am dead with the sickness no thanks to my girlfriend, she is trying to kill me and I probably deserve it. I'll see you tomorrow.

Spider On Police Dashcam Appear As A Giant Spider Crawling Across Street Towards Officer

October 19, 2018

This is a short video from the dashcam of a Fulshear, Texas police officer of a spider that, thanks to its proximity the camera, creates an optical illusion that it's actually a giant spider crawling across the street towards the officer. So....what is the spider actually walking on? The dashboard? Is it a reflection? Or is this an actual giant spider? Because I have heard everything is bigger in Texas. Although, FULL DISCLOSURE: My girlfriend was not impressed the night we spent there. "You're talking about your penis." We both agreed it was average at best.

Keep going for the whole video.

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China Plans To Put Luminous Artificial Moon In Orbit To Light Streets At Night

October 19, 2018

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China intends to launch a luminous artificial satellite into geosynchronous orbit above Chengdu (the capital of China's southwestern Sichuan province) by 2020, to help supplement street lights at night and save as much as $173-million on electricity annually. THE FUTURE.

Scientists estimated that it could be eight times more luminous than the actual, original moon. It will also orbit much closer to Earth; about 500 km (310 miles) away, compared to the moon's 380,000 km (236,000 miles).


But the ambitious plan still wouldn't "light up the entire night sky," Wu Chunfeng, chief of the Tian Fu New Area Science Society, told China Daily. "Its expected brightness, in the eyes of humans, is around one-fifth of normal streetlights."

Man, that's nuts. I just hope it doesn't confuse wildlife. Officials say if the artificial moon project is successful they could potentially add three more by 2022. That's a lot of moons! Alternatively, and I'm just throwing this out there, we should add another sun instead so it's never night and we're all driven mad and kill each other, the end.

Thanks to T-Pain, who agrees we should just nuke the actual moon into pieces and see what happens. You know, experiment.

A Flattened World Map Showing All Countries To Proper Scale

October 19, 2018

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Note: Larger version HERE.

Tired of the traditional global mapping method (the Mercator projection, which makes landmasses near the poles appear larger than they really are) this is a map created by Redditor neilrkaye that shows all the countries to proper scale. I learned a lot by looking at it. Mostly, that everything I've ever learned is a lie. Should I really feel guilty peeing in the shower? I think not. "HE'S DOING IT AGAIN." Man, I thought Planet Fitness was supposed to be a judgement-free zone.

Thanks to Gregg C, who's convinced the world is a pyramid, and isn't far from the truth.

Fallout 76 Green-Glowing Vault Boy LED Lamp

October 19, 2018

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This is the $40 Official Fallout 76 Vault Boy LED Lamp available for preorder from Geekstore. The lamp is USB powered and shines green like a ghoul 'Glowing One' from the franchise. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like it gives off that much light, so it's probably less suited for reading in bed and more suited for SETTING THE MOOD. "Setting the mood for what?" You know, some sexy bedroom-- "Please don't say ghoul roleplaying." Jesus, of course not. "Well?" I lied that's all I've got.

Keep going for one more shot of the lamp in its off position.

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Impressive!: This Freehand Crocheted Slimer Halloween Costume

October 19, 2018

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Hot on the heels of the Predator costume she crocheted for her older son, this is the Slimer costume Crochetverse freehand crocheted (no pattern) for her youngest son. Plus she brushed the finished product with some luminescent paint SO IT GLOWS IN THE DARK. How cool is that? "Very cool." Like me. I never even thought about being Slimer as a kid but my girlfriend should really consider it this year because she's been sick and her nose has been running like a broken faucet. There's like
a snot glaze on everything now. *gets hit with a dirty tissue* What?!

Keep going for a shot of the costume glowing in the dark, and a short video.

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Getting Those Superpowers Early: Kid Rides Through X-Ray Baggage Scanner

October 18, 2018

This is a video from the Xiaolan Railway Station in South China of a young boy who rides through the x-ray baggage scanner when his father isn't paying attention (previously: a woman who rode through an x-ray scanner to make sure her purse wasn't stolen). I am so jealous right now. I can't even tell you how many times I've tried to ride through an x-ray scanner, but my parents have always caught me before I was actually in the machine. "This child leash really does work wonders." Whatever mom, you never let me do anything fun! "Come on, I did stake you out in the yard and let you eat all the grass you wanted." Yeah but only for an hour.

Keep going for the whole video.

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The Weather Channel Demonstrates Its Immersive Wildfire Visualizations

October 18, 2018

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Seen here really feeling the heat, this a video of a Weather Channel reporter demonstrating the company's new immersive visualization technology (previously seen in its Hurricane Florence coverage) in a California wildfires segment. I liked how some of the flames and debris pass in front of the reporter. Really makes you feel like you're right there, doesn't it? "Not really." Fair enough. If you had to choose, would you rather die by fire or water? PROTIP: Never choose right away, always try to renegotiate with the evil villain planning on killing you first. You never know, they might just have a change of heart. Unless that evil villain is me, in which case there is no renegotiating, and I don't care what you choose, I'm feeding you to my crocodiles. "You have crocodiles?" Depends -- can you tell the difference between a crocodile and a turtle? "Yes." Then no I do not.

Keep going for the video.

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