Nov 2 2011Don't Move!: First Manned Multicopter Flight


Ever wanted to be chopped to pieces atop of an exercise ball? Join my ninja yoga class. Ooooooooor strap yourself to this terrifying 16-blade multicopter. One slip and you're fertilizer.

The German e-volo multicopter is the first manned electric multicopter to take flight according to the company. The pilot, Thomas Senkel utilized a hand-held wireless control unit to steer the spider-like contraption from a center-mounted seat. The initial flight only lasted approximately 90 seconds, but potential flight time could last as long as 30 minutes. A gas/electric hybrid copter could stay afloat for as long as an hour according to the company.

Admittedly, I would take my chances with one. Of course, I said the same thing about the expired cottage cheese cup I had for lunch today, and now look at me. "You do look pretty f***ing awful." Like really bloated, right? "Super bloated." Okaaaaaaay, this was gonna be a test because I haven't even had lunch yet but I want to stop now before I get hurt any more.

Hit the jump for a video of the one small step for man, one giant leap into rotating blades for mankind.

Continue Reading "Don't Move!: First Manned Multicopter Flight"

Nov 2 2011WTF: Facedrink, A 'Social Energy' Energy Drink


Facedrink is an unfortunately real $3 energy drink that claims to provide "social" energy. WTF is social energy? SPOILER: Regular energy, dumbf*** with the Facedrink in your hand! Plus it gives you cancer.* Regardless, I just ordered a case with the hopes of meeting some new people. *accepting Stomach Ulcer's friend request* Change our relationship status to "it's complicated"?

*This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA but I did run it by my roommate while he was on the phone and he gave me two thumbs up and then mimed like he was masturbating.

Official Site
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Thanks to Sion, who hopefully isn't affiliated with the company because man would that be awkward.

Nov 2 2011Safe: A Homemade Wrist-Mounted Crossbow


Ezio Auditore called -- he said you better forward the schematics to da Vinci for him.

This is a professional looking wrist-mounted crossbow entirely homemade by A+ shop student Patrick Priebe. Entirely homemade by the Geekologie Writer? This lasagna. "I can see the Stouffer's box in the trash." Oh shishi. *dives out window with chef's hat parachute*

It even has a laser sight, which is powered by two AA-batteries which are tucked on his palm along with the laser sight's toggle. The wristbow's bolts are made of carbon fiber tubing with brass and steel tips, although crossbow connoisseurs might balk at his bolts because they have fletching - the feathery things near the back of the arrow - which bolts are not supposed to have.

Hey, I don't care if crossbow bolts are supposed to have fletching or not, if you're pointing it at me I'm still gonna give you my wallet. Then, when you turn to leave, I jumpkick you from behind, make you eat your own fist, and blow a hole through the back of your neck! Your body will be found under a bridge with both hands super-glued between your butt cheeks (my new calling card).

Hit the jump for a silent demo.

Continue Reading "Safe: A Homemade Wrist-Mounted Crossbow"

Nov 2 2011Grand Theft Auto 5 Trailer, Takes Place In L.A.


Smog: the breakfast of broken dreams.

This is the trailer for Grand Theft Auto 5, hot off the press. It looks pretty promising and takes place here in (a fictional) Los Angeles, so chances are high Rockstar will make me a non-playable character. Now listen, because this is important: I want you to hit me with a sports car doing at least 80MPH down Hollywood Blvd. Bonus points if my brains wind up in Shirley Temple's little handprints.

Hit the jump for the preview.

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Nov 2 2011'I'm Questing', The Legend Of Zelda Rap


This is a rap song and music video about The Legend of Zelda called 'I'm Questing'. It's...actually not that bad. They could have found a better looking Link though. Me, I'm talking about me. I'm actually a dead ringer for the Link from the original game. "As wide as you are tall?" Exaaaaactly.

Hit the jump for the video as well as several others for different games including Minecraft, Pokemon and Mario.

Continue Reading "'I'm Questing', The Legend Of Zelda Rap"

Nov 2 2011Like He Just Got Kicked!: Picture Of Screaming Face Found In Ultrasound Of Man's Testicle


Haha -- I bet you didn't think you'd be staring at nuts before noon, did you?!

Seen here looking straight out of 4chan, the imagine of a screaming face was found after doctors performed an ultrasound on a man's nuts after numerous complaints of discomfort. Discomfort?! Well no shit bro -- you've got a little screaming man living in your balls!

The image of the man's face, seemingly in some distress, was sent to Urology, the International Society of Urology's official journal, and was published in the journal's September volume.

Writing in the journal, they said: "The residents and staff alike were amazed to see the outline of a man's face staring up out of the image, his mouth agape as if the face seen on the ultrasound scan itself was also experiencing severe epididymo-orchitis," wrote the authors, referring to an inflammatory condition.

The testicle was removed and the mass was discovered to be harmless.

Oh man, having doctors remove something only to find out it was harmless later? That's the worst. *eyeing where penis used to be* It was just a piece of dried toilet paper!

Face discovered in testicular tumour [telegraph]

Thanks to Rev Dr Dom, who claims it was him screaming in that man's testicles. LOLWUT?! Your shrink-ray/teleporter needs some f***ing work!

Nov 2 2011THE SKY IS FALLING!: Asteroid To Pass Closer To Earth Than The Moon Next Week


According to astronomers, next Tuesday an asteroid the size of an aircraft carrier (~1,300-feet for those of you who don't like your measurements in naval vessels) will pass closer to earth than the moon's orbit, hopefully polishing off humanity like the dinosaurs. *readying tractor-beam* "Um, GW -- what the f*** are you doing?" YOU STAY OUT OF THIS.

The asteroid, dubbed 2005 YU55, will come within 202,000 miles of Earth, closer than the moon, before zipping farther into space. Carbon-colored and dark, the asteroid measures some 1,300 feet wide. It will be the closest visit by a space rock this size in more than three decades.

"This is not a potentially hazardous asteroid, just a good opportunity to study one," National Science Foundation astronomer Thomas Statler says. NASA and the NSF plan a series of radar telescope and other observations starting Friday, aimed at mapping the asteroid's surface and chemistry.

Say, this gives me an idea. Well -- what do you think? "...A leather belt with rocks glued to it?" It's an asteroid belt. It's a real shame Halloween was Monday because this has 'first place in a costume contest' written all over it. "Wow, it LITERALLY does." Yeah, sometimes you have to do the judges' thinking for them.

Asteroid 2005 YU55 will zip by Earth next week [usatoday]

Thanks to Jennie, who agrees now would be a great time to start a cult.

Nov 1 2011Superhero Posters In The Style Of Different Art Movements: What, No Surrealism?


This is a series of superhero posters by French artist Greg Guillemin (of minimalistic pop culture characters fame) highlighting different artistic movements of the 20th centuries. My favorite artistic movement? Chubby nudes. "That wasn't a movement." Oh there was a movement alright -- in my pants! A bowel one. I think God wired me backwards :/

Hit the jump for a bunch more.

Continue Reading "Superhero Posters In The Style Of Different Art Movements: What, No Surrealism?"

Nov 1 2011The Zombie Industry Is Worth $6 Billion


According to a study by people who study stuff and try to pretend it's a job (like blogging!), the zombie industry is worth almost $6-billion. My life? My life is worth nothing. "I'll take it." Haha -- nice try, Lucifer!

Regardless of the reason, zombies are worth billions of dollars. The figure that we were able to piece together: $5.74 billion. In all honesty, this tab is grossly undercalculated in each category. By the time you add the money spent in total around the zombie genre, the figure is much higher.

Movies: $2.5 billion

Video games: $2.5 billion

Comic books, magazines and TV: $50 million

Books and novels: $100 million

Halloween costumes: $500 million (over a 4-year period)

Conventions, events and walks: $10 million

Merchandise: $50 million

The digital world: $10 million

Music: $10 million

Art: $10 million

You can check out MSNBC's whole long-ass article for details on each segment of the market, or, if you're like me, you can just go, "damn, $6-billion, that's a lot." You have no idea how pissed I am for investing my entire life savings in aliens. THEY were supposed to be the next big thing!

Zombies worth over $5 billion to economy [msnbc]

Thanks to Sherry, who's trying to score a piece of the market with a line of zombie inspired cosmetics. OMG -- can you make it look like my eyes are bleeding?!

Nov 1 2011Board Eraser Turns Chalk Dust Into New Chalk


This is a conceptual chalkboard eraser that sucks in the dust from the board and makes new pieces of chalk with it. No clue how much dust it takes to actually create a fresh stick, but my guess is at least twice what it'd collect in a lifetime.

As you erase the board, the Chalkeeper has a tiny vacuum motor that sucks up all of the dust and stores it inside the handle. That by itself would be a big improvement over the usual chalky mess, but this concept goes one step further by combining the chalk dust with heat and water to mold new chalk sticks.

This is actually a pretty genius idea if you think about it because 1. chalk is cheap as f*** 2. I can't remember the last time I even saw a chalk board and 3. the third world nations that actually still use chalkboards clearly have a budget for chalk-recycling erasers. Million dollar ideas, people.

This eraser magically turns chalk dust into new chalk sticks [dvice]

Thanks to The Professor, who still uses a chalkboard when he teachers because he likes the sound it makes when he's writing. You're sick.