May 13 2008A Jawa Sandcrawlerload Of R2-D2 Cakes
Get it? Instead of boatload? I'm throwing rocks tonight. Mark it, Dude. So I've been getting a ton of R2-D2 cake tips lately, and I've decided to just compile them into a single post and unleash the beast in one fell swoop. So here they are, starting with this handsome droid, that, get this, comes sans fondant. Oh snap, crackle and pop indeed my friends. A cake without fondant. All the ones after the jump are heavy on the fondantry, so yeah. Oh, and you've got to check out the picture of the Star Wars themed wedding party for the last cake (after the jump). Freakin' awesome. Almost as awesome as my wedding's theme, which was admittedly less Star Warsy and more "the biggest mistake of your life"sy.
All the must see pictures after the jump.
May 13 2008Raku Ceramic Ray Guns Look Awesome
This is a raku style (low temperature ceramic firing) sculpture made entirely out of clay and glazed to look like a badass raygun. Each one runs about $275 and comes mounted on a 12" by 9" moon crater plaque so you can hang it on the wall. But, if you're gonna do what I think you are (turn it into a pipe to smoke weed), then you can probably just break that off.
Three more after the jump.
May 13 2008Video Of Darth Drunkard Attacking Jedis Is Sadly Not Nearly As Exciting As I Had Hoped
Remember when that drunk guy wearing a garbage bag and swinging a lightcrutch tried to beat up on the founder of the Jedi Church? Well it turns out the event was videotaped. But sadly, the scene is nothing compared to the one I had imagined. The only time I got excited was when he swung the crutch and almost caught dude in the nose. But he didn't. He just hit the cameraman over the head and then ran away. Making him the suckiest drunk Darth Vader impersonator ever. I make a better Drunk Vader, and all I do is wear black and breath heavy. Although once I did try to use the Force (read: a grappling hook) to score a free bottle of bourbon from behind the bar. Unfortunately I miscalculated the swing, clocked myself in the head, and fell off the barstool bleeding. Now I know what you're thinking -- "Damn yo, the Force is weak with The Geekologie Writer." And sadly, you're correct.
Oh, and as an update to the story, dude had to pay $500 and won't be serving the 12-month sentence originally expected.
May 13 2008Untooned Peter Griffin Looks Pretty Good
For those of you that never click through to the jump or check out the links I so lovingly provide, you probably haven't seen this. Unless it came to you in a dream or something. In which case I wouldn't trade dreams with your for all the money in your couch. Anyway, this is human-like Peter Griffin from Family Guy. It was an entry in the Reality Cartoons Contest I linked to in yesterday's Jessica Rabbit video post. If you've seen it (and especially so if you saw it by following the link I provided yesterday), then I applaud you, and you get an A+ in Internetellect 101 (yes, I'm going to continue using that until it catches on and I get some credit). Regardless though, this Peter Griffin untooning does bring up an interesting question: can someone get a naked Betty Rubble one to me at least 30 minutes before my wife gets home?
Since today is side-by-side comparison day on Geekologie, I've included one of Peter after the jump.
May 13 2008Jerrari Is Half Jeep, Half Ferrari, All For Sale
Looking to buy a car but can't make up your mind? Have you got it narrowed down between a Jeep and Ferrari? Well why not pick up this sweet-ass Jerrari and get both!
This one-off combines a 1969 Jeep Wagoneer with a Ferrari 365-GT front-end. Although currently equipped with a 350ci V8, it could easily be returned to its original Ferrari V-12 power plant.
That's right folks, the Jerrari is the lovechild of a Ferrari and Jeep that spent a romantic night together in the shadowy corner of a used car lot. You see, the two got drunk after lapping up the remains from some wino's jug that he accidentally knocked over while urinating on the side of the Jeep. Yep, they totally bumped bumpers, and the Ferrari squeezed the Jerrari out her tailpipe four months later. The Jeep soon grew tired of the Ferrari's constant bickering and cracked his own block. Now the Ferrari is selling her offspring so she can afford a CD player and new floor mats to attract another mate. Strumpet.
Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures and a link to the auction which has a TON (literally, 2,000 lbs.) more and links to some videos.
Continue Reading "Jerrari Is Half Jeep, Half Ferrari, All For Sale"
May 13 2008GTA4: Liberty City Vs. New York City
These are side-by-side comparison shots of New York City and Liberty City in Grand Theft Auto 4. New York is on the left, Liberty on the right. As you can see, they share some pretty similar architecture. But seriously, all 911 conspiracy theories aside, I couldn't find my favorite hot dog vendor (Ignatius of Paradise Vendors) in the game. I swear, something about those dogs -- so freaking delicious. I think Mr. Clyde may have stumbled upon the holy grail of boiled weenies -- the perfect pig lip to asshole ratio.
Several more comparison shots after the jump, along with a link to the Flickr gallery with them all.
May 13 2008Hard Drive Crusher Looks Like Drill Press
EDR Solution's Hard Drive Crusher costs $11,500 and looks suspiciously like a slightly modified drill press.
With the Hard Disk Crusher you can crush over 60 disks an hour. It drills through the hard disk's spindles and physically creates ripples in the platters making it impossible to recover the data. One customer informs us that they destroyed over 9000 drives in a month, and another customer destroyed over 800 drives in day.The Hard Disk Crusher is durable and transportable. You can put it in your vehicle and take it from one location to another. It uses a standard 110 outlet and can crush a disk in 10 seconds.
If you can crush a drive in 10 seconds, why can you only crush 60 in an hour? That doesn't add up. Does it take 50 seconds to remove the drive and toss another one in? That said, if the power goes out and the feds are coming, you can get a hand pump option for an additional $895 that allows you to break drives with 15 hand-strokes. Warning: Blatant self-advertising ahead.
Okay folks, instead of buying a ridiculous $11,500 drill press to destroy drives, just send them to me. I just started a new company, No Data Left Behind. I destroy drives through a combination of drilling and feeding them to hogs. Of course, I can't actually guarantee data won't get left behind. Or that the drive won't be scanned for credit card info and/or nudey pics first.
Thanks to Gooch, who destroys drives the old fashioned way -- with his teeth
May 13 2008'Marry Our Daughter' Website Is Wrong (But I Proposed To The Cheapest One Anyways)
Marry Our Daughter is a website where parents post their daughters and ask for proposals. There's a short paragraph explaining the girl, and then the cost of marriage. Prices typically range from $20,000-$50,000 but I found a couple runts going for less than $8,000. I'm pretty sure the site is a joke. I was going to propose to a $5,995 14-year old to test it out before I realized I don't want to burn in hell or have some pedo-taskforce bust down the door. So yeah, we'll just assume it's fake. Read a testimonial:
Our 15 year old daughter Mary wasn't very popular and did nothing but mope around the house bringing everybody down, so we decided to marry her off through your site. Now our house is a lot cheerier and we love our new swimming pool and Jaccuzi! We've told our youngest that when she turns 15 we're going to marry her off too!
Okay, bad example. The other ones though, totally made up. That one was actually believable. Trust me -- my parents once traded me to a mechanic for a tire rotation and piña colada scented air freshener.
Thanks to "Knowing my mom, I'm probably already on there" Alexis
