Japanese Toy Designer Builds His Cats A Cardboard Mecha Kitty Condo

August 17, 2017

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These are a couple shots and a short video of the cardboard mecha kitty condo that Japanese toy designer Kuramochi Kyoryu built for his cats. Admittedly, that looks like a pretty fun place to play. You know where my cats like to play? In my bedroom closet. I'm not entirely sure what they do in there, but they make a hell of a lot of noise doing it. I suspect they're trying to claw a hole through the wall to get into the pantry where I keep all the Fancy Feast, oblivious to the fact my closet doesn't even share a wall with the pantry. Dumb cats! "They tricked you into feeding them twice this morning." They're little geniuses.

Keep going for a couple more shots and a short video of a cat defending its turn to drive the mecha.

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Freaky Deaky Marine Animal Whose Entire Head Is A Giant Expanding Mouth

August 17, 2017

This is a video of a species of predatory nudibranch sea slug (Melibe leonina) repeatedly showing off its giant mouth in the search for food. It kind of reminded me of someone trying to stretch their scrotum over the bright end of a flashlight. "Um, what?" I was a biology major in college. "You said you were a marketing major." I was, my biology major was entirely extracurricular. "I don't even want to know." You absolutely don't, believe me.

Keep going for the whole video.

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Life: Kid Falls On Obstacle Course, Abandons All Hope

August 17, 2017

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This is a short video of young Charlie attempting to finish an obstacle course when he eats shit during the inflatable tire portion and decides that's his life now. We've all been there before, Charlie. You just have to remember things are never going to get better and at least you found a soft place to rest your head. You just have to watch out for the other kids though because they will absolutely walk all over you on their way to the finish line. You can consider that two life lessons for the price of one. "But I didn't pay anything." Give me your lunch money!

Keep going for life in a nutshell.

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Star Wars Everything: A Death Star Cross Section Coaster Set

August 17, 2017

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This is the $25 Star Wars Death Star Coaster Set available from ThinkGeek. Individually, each of the nine glass coasters contains a cross-section of the Death Star. When stacked, they create a 3D image of the superweapon. When broken, they create a roommate who'll bitch at you for breaking his Death Star coasters. Calm down, Derek, it's not like I did it on purpose (I totally did it on purpose, I also hid a handful of pieces of the Millennium Falcon LEGO set he's about to build). "You're evil." I'm who the devil prays he was.

Keep going for a couple more shots, including one of each individual coaster.

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Father Pushes Son On Tricycle With A Leafblower

August 17, 2017

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Note: Volume, leaf blower.

This is a short video of a father pushing his son around on his tricycle with a leafblower. Um, where is that child's ear protection? You're wearing muffs and he doesn't get anything? How's he supposed to view the solar eclipse on Monday if he's deaf? "You really are an idiot, you know that?" I've learned to pride myself on it like everyone else. I'm just going to assume he's wearing ear plugs that I can't see. Regardless, you know what would be even cooler than getting pushed around on a tricycle by a leafblower? Getting to drive the family car. "He's like three years old." So? I drove my first car at around the same age, and I can almost guarantee it's still in that creek, right where I meant to park it.

Keep going for the video.

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My Head Is Tingling!: IKEA Releases An ASMR Video

August 17, 2017

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Note: Best experienced with headphones.

This is a 25 minute ASMR (autonomous sensory meridian response) video released by IKEA to celebrate back to school/college season. Via Wikipedia for those of you who may not be familiar with ASMR while I try to find a quiet place in one of the building's stairwells for my morning cry:

Autonomous sensory meridian response (ASMR) is a colloquial term used for an experience characterized by a static-like or tingling sensation on the skin that typically begins on the scalp and moves down the back of the neck and upper spine. It has been compared with auditory-tactile synesthesia. ASMR signifies the subjective experience of "low-grade euphoria" characterised by "a combination of positive feelings and a distinct static-like tingling sensation on the skin". It is most commonly triggered by specific acoustic, visual and digital media stimuli

I didn't watch the whole thing, but I did skip around to listen to the woman whisper-talk into the microphone and rub her fingernails on everything in sight to see how the sounds would make my neck tingle. And boy did it tingle! Sooooo....are we supposed to be masturbating now or what?

Keep going for the video.

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Aspiring Ninja Child Attempts To Turn Off His Parents' Home Security Camera To Party

August 17, 2017

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This is a short video of one of Jeremy Gabrysch's sons ninja-crawling through the living room to turn off one of his home's Nest home security cameras. Apparently he and the other children had been sneaking out to party in the living room after bedtime but were repeatedly busted by the camera. So this aspiring silent assassin decided to sneak in and turn the camera off one afternoon with his ninja skills. While he does manage to turn the camera off, he does not do a very good job of doing it undetected. I give him 1 out of 5 ninja swords (sans wooden display stand) for his effort, which, if this had been a real ninja operation, would have almost certainly resulted in death. I'm not sure what ninja school he graduated from, but I suspect it's unaccredited. I'm also guessing didn't have any smoke bombs left. Personally, I would have destroyed the camera from just out of frame with a ninja star, but that's just me and I'm in your kitchen making pancakes right now and you don't even know it.

Keep going for the video.

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