Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial Hedonistica

There Were No Survivors: This Python Ate A Porcupine


These are photos of the aftermath of a 12-foot South African python that tried to swallow a 30-poud porcupine. Thankfully, I can honestly say I have never been that hungry before. I don't even think I've ever been 2-pound porcupine hungry.

A week after these photos were taken, park rangers found it dead. Apparently, it had fallen off a ledge. But why would that kill a snake? When the rangers opened the snake up, they discovered the answer.

It had eaten a 30 pound porcupine, whose quills probably pierced its digestive tract in the fall, and killed it.

Wait -- the snake fell off a ledge? That sounds very un-snakelike of it. And if it hadn't fallen off that ledge it could have passed this porcupine? This whole story sounds a little fishy to me. I suspect FOUL PLAY. It was you, Mr. Buffalo, wasn't it?! "He ate my friend!" I knew it! *packing Sherlock bubble pipe with soap water* Well, I think my work is done here, boys.

Keep going for two more shots, including one of the porcupine removed from the snakes stomach, which you can see riddled with quills. You can see more shots of the porcupine being cut out HERE if you're into that.

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Man Photographs Unidentified Sea Monster In Greece


This is the crappy photo taken by Scottish tourist Harvey Robertson while site-seeing off the coast of Parga, Greece. He captured what he believes to be an unidentified sea monster. Is that black spot supposed to be an eyeball? Looks kinda like a mutant seahorse to me. Maybe Aquaman's battle mount? That or one ugly ass mermaid.

"I didn't actually see the animal at the time as was trying to capture the water color (fluorescent blue) at the point before becoming black," Robertson told via email. "You can only imagine my surprise when I was looking back through my photos."

Some say it could be a Cuvier's beaked whale, which have been known to frequent the Mediterranean, others have speculated that it could be the "love child of a hippo and crocodile"--but so far, even scientists are baffled.

Robertson says "I have no idea what it is, I've sent them to various marine biologists across the planet and no one has any idea."

So, what is it? Let me guess -- you probably want a much clearer shot and/or some video before you make your decision. Well TOO BAD, everybody knows the first rule of taking pictures of monsters is for the photos to be blurry and for there only to be one or two of them. Also, this guy was trying to take pictures of the color of the water? That sounds like a vacation photo album you politely decline to view when he gets back from vacation.

Keep going for an even worse shot of the animal retreating.

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NYC Subway Rat Takes Selfie With Sleeping Guy's Phone


This is the photo (video of the incident below) that a New York City subway rat allegedly took after climbing on a sleeping man's lap and activating his phone's camera. Clearly, Master Splinter is vainer than he would have you believe. 'I wanted to sext April but Michelangelo broke my phone' I imagine him trying to explain before realizing absolutely any other explanation would have been way less disturbing.

Keep going for a video of the guy doing the holy shit there's a rat on my lap dance, then call the whole thing fake in the comments.

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US Navy Makes A Star Wars: The Force Awakens Parody


This is the Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer parody made by the US Navy servicemen and women aboard the USS Dwight D. Eisenhower. I liked the mop bucket that played BB-8. The whole thing served as a great remind that our armed forces, even though they're out there in the middle of the ocean or who-knows-where trying to protect our freedom, are still giant Star Wars dorks just like everybody else.

Keep going for the video.

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Facebook Adds Feature To Hide Past And Future Posts From An Ex When Changing Relationship Status To Single



Because a lot of people like to lie to themselves and pretend like they're not going to spend way too much time trying to see what their recent ex-boyfriend/girlfriend is doing, Facebook has just released a feature that allows you to fine-tune how much content you see from an ex in the future when you change your relationship status to single. It also allows you to hide previous posts (i.e. pictures of happier times), as well as how much of your content they can see. Alternatively, just remove them as a friend entirely and move on with your life. Have mutual friends? Delete all of them too. Start fresh, make new friends. Not good at making new friends? Stay home alone and play more video games. That's what I've been doing for the last six years, and look at me. "You look like shit." I'm not even sure if I'm alive anymore. I went to the doctor last week, guess what he said. "What do you need all these boner pills for anyways?" Exactly! That's when I told him to shut up and just keep scribbling.

Thanks to Dougie, who agrees the best Facebook option after a breakup is deactivating your account and hitting the gym.

Nailed It: Guy Embarrassed Of Using Selfie Stick Creates Even More Embarrassing Selfie Arms


Young Japanese man Mansun was embarrassed of using a selfie stick. So what did he do? "Not use a selfie stick?" WRONG. He modded two selfie sticks with fake hands, that way he looks like a circus sideshow attraction whenever he's trying to take a picture of himself. Personally, I'm not into the whole selfie stick thing. I've only used one a handful of times, and only then to try to fit my whole penis in the photo, which was futile.

Keep going for a couple more shots of the magnificence.

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Aluminum Dice With Colored LED Number Spots


These are Luma Dice, solid block aluminum dice with light-up LED number spots. The dice are powered by a replaceable battery, and have a motion sensor that activates the lights when you pick them up to roll them. They've been balanced to the best of the maker's ability, but are probably better suited for casual gaming sessions than serious gambling or rolling to see who gets stabbed first. They're currently a Kickstarter campaign, but have already met their funding goal, so $29 will get you a set of two when they ship in March. I just bought a pair, and I'm going to use them to play sexy games in bed after dark. Games like, "Left hand or right hand" and "Magazine or imagination." YOW YOW.

Hit the jump for several more photos and their Kickstarter video.

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Couple's Star Wars Battle Of Hoth Wedding Photo


This is the Battle Of Hoth inspired wedding photo taken and digitally manipulated by professional wedding photographer Tanya Musgrave. My girlfriend actually wants to do something similar, except instead of a Star Wars theme she wants me to be edited out of the photo entirely and replaced with a dragon on a leash. She's eccentric. She also knows black magic, so whatever she says goes unless I really want my penis turned into a frog. Which, for the record, I do not, not even for a minute. Fine, ONE minute, but any longer and I'm gonna freak the f*** out.

Keep going for the original photo, as well as the 12 hours of Photoshopping edited into a 3-minute timelapse.

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