Is This A Wormhole?: Iowa Bridge For Walkers And Cyclists Has Cool Nighttime Light Effect

July 19, 2018

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This is a video of the High Trestle Trail Bridge in Madrid, Iowa. The 2,640 foot long bridge used to service the Union Pacific Railroad. Now it's part of a multi-county nature path for hikers, cyclists and horseback riders, complete with this trippy LED light effect at night. Man, that is way sweeter than the bridge I have to cross on my bike to get back home at night. It doesn't have any cool light effects, just an angry troll who demands I pay him to cross every time or he'll club my legs into Jell-O. Let's just say *punching open palm with fist* I handled that situation. "What did you do?" Paid him for a year of crossing in advance.

Keep going for the video (night view starts at 1:45, but it's worth seeing briefly during the day too), and search Youtube if you want to see more because apparently this has already existed for several years which I was unaware of when I started writing this article.

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Beer Bottle Opener That Also Replaces Tops

July 19, 2018

This is the $15 Open - Close Bottle Capper available from Uncommon Goods. Not only can it open a beer, it can also replace the lid. Cool, but I already have a recapper, it's called a pound from my fist. Besides, why would you ever want to reseal a beer anyways? Just drink it already. What the hell are you doing, give me that. *chugs* Aaaaaaah. There are only two reasons to ever recap a beer, and one involves tricking an enemy into drinking deadly poison. "And the other?" Urine.

Thanks to hairless, who was talking about this like it's the best thing since sliced bread, even though everybody knows the best thing since sliced bread will always be sandwiches.

Woman Drops Phone From 450-Foot Swing Ride, It Lands Perfectly Still Filming The Swings

July 19, 2018

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Note: Possible seizure warning when the phone drops. Also, dude does some tough guy cursing to try to hide the fact that he's terrified he's about to die.

This is the video from Cansel Yildirim's iPhone before and after she dropped it from the world's tallest swing ride (the StarFlyer in Orlando, Florida, with swings at a height over 400 feet and traveling up to 60MPH). Miraculously, the phone lands pointing up towards the swings it was dropped from. How about that! "She could have killed somebody." Probably. You know my mom makes me keep my cell phone around my neck on a lanyard so I don't ever lose it or drop it. "She also makes you wear one of those kid leashes." Only at the mall! "Only?" And Target and the grocery store, and a lot of times at home.

Keep going for a shot of the StarFlyer so you can appreciate just how tall it is, and the video. You can easily still hear her screaming from the ground.

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Golf Pro Phil Mickelson Chips Ball Over Man's Head From 3 Feet Away

July 19, 2018

These are two videos (different angles) of golf legend Phil Mickelson demonstrating his signature 'Phil flop' by chipping a ball over Euro Tour pro Gary Evans' head while he stands there reliving how he got himself into this situation in the first place. Thankfully, Phil's flop shot is absolute perfection. My flop shot? Mine leaves a little something to be desired. "You clubbed the man in the balls." Yes I did. "Twice." That is true. "Do you even play golf?" Only mini. Still, I have to give props to Dick's Sporting Goods for hiring such willing-to-please employees.

Keep going for the video.

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We've All Been There: Dog Falls Off Couch, Keeps Right On Sleeping

July 19, 2018

This is a short video of Apollo the dog rolling off the sofa he's sleeping on, and not letting a drop to the floor get between him and the nap he was in the middle of. His owner comes over to check on him though just to make sure he's okay. Man, Apollo is living the dream -- sleeping on the sofa, but also has a cozy dog bed right in front of the fire? I wouldn't bother waking up for anything either. I want his life, because I fell off the sofa in my sleep over the weekend, and all my girlfriend did was draw on my face and post the pictures to Instagram. It hurts, you know? "What does?" My back, I think I tweaked it.

Keep going for the whole video.

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Video Of Green Goblin Style Jet-Powered Hoverboard Going 103.4MPH

July 19, 2018

This is a video of a jet-powered Flyboard Air being piloted up to an alleged 103.4 MPH while hanging out with a Lamborghini, plus doing a bunch of other general flying around and having a great time. I'm going to be honest though, the soundtrack kinda made me wish music had never been invented. I TOLD YOU KIDS TO STAY OFF MY LAWN. Regardless, would I ride a Flyboard Air at 103.4 MPH? What is this, an after-school daycare program? Call me when they can do 400MPH and I'll show you a man who's ready to disintegrate.

Keep going for the video.

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Demonstrating The Nikon Coolpix P1000's 125X Optical Zoom By Zooming On Distant High-Rise, The Moon

July 18, 2018

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These are two videos of Nikon's new $1,000 Coolpix P1000 camera being put through its zooming paces by being focused on a distant high-rise building, and the moon. Admittedly, that 125X optical zoom is pretty impressive. So, you think if you zoomed that thing in as far as it can go on my eyeball you'd be able to see my soul? "Maybe if you still had one." The devil told you about that, huh? "And to win a big stuffed prize at the fair?" You don't get it, I was worried my girlfriend thought I was a loser before. "And now?" She left me shortly after and didn't even bother to take the giant emoji turd.

Keep going for the videos.

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