The Future: A Duvet Cover That Makes Itself

December 7, 2016


This is the Kickstarter for the $200 Smartduvet, a duvet that can make itself in the morning. How? Simple, it uses an electric under-the-bed air blower to inflate a lattice-shaped bladder you place inside the duvet cover, so that when it fills with air it forces itself flat. The whole thing syncs with a smartphone app so you can schedule what time you want it to make your bed, or you can initiate the bed-making app manually. Alternatively, MAKE THE BED YOURSELF WITH YOUR PERFECTLY GOOD ARMS. Jesus, it takes like five seconds and makes you feel good after you do it. Besides, it's not straightening the duvet cover that's the real time consumer, it's digging the crumpled sheets from the very bottom of the bed and straightening them out and replacing all the pillows that were knocked on the floor because your partner sleeps at night like they're drowning.

Keep going for a picture of the air bladder and their Kickstarter video.

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Young Boy At Minecraft Convention Asks Heavy-Hitting Question During Q&A

December 7, 2016


This is a very worthwhile video of a young boy with a purple sheep plushie sitting next to Ali G at MINECON 2016 and asking Minecraft's developers a very hard hitting question. It's not even about Minecraft, it's about LIFE. Kids: they grow up so fast these days. I remember when I was that kid's age I wasn't raising my hand to ask anything except 'Can I go to the bathroom?' and 'Can I go to the office and call my mom because I accidentally just went to the bathroom.' The rest of the kids in my class would laugh, but I'd have a fresh pair of underwear within the hour.

Keep going for a video of humanity's last hope.

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Earring That Looks Like A Giant Rhinoceros Beetle Crawling Through Your Ear

December 7, 2016


This is the $47 Japanese Rhinoceros Beetle Earring available from the Japan Trend Shop. Be warned though: $47 only gets you one, so it'll cost you $94 for two, not that you were ever going to buy one in the first place. Besides, for $47 I expected it to be made out of a real rhino beetle and not plastic. Nothing that small and made out of plastic should cost $47. That's ridiculous. You know what I want? Earrings that look like fish hooks with bait on them like worms or minnows. Has anybody made those yet? You think there's a market for them? I love fishing. Just like the bumper sticker on my truck says, 'I'D RATHER BE FISHING'. Just kidding I don't even have any bumper stickers, just six pairs of truck nuts.

Thanks to hairless, who agrees the coolest earrings are the ones that have a chain that goes around the back of your neck and connect your two years like one of those straps that keeps your sunglasses from falling off. Those exist, right?

Japanese Man's Insane Coin-Stacking Skills

December 7, 2016


Because everybody needs a hobby (I count the kernels in my popcorn ceiling) and collecting coins is just too boring for some people, these are a bunch of the gravity-defying coin stacks constructed by Japanese Twitter user @thumb_tani. Is balance a superpower? The things this guy does are next level. Especially the ones with the spoons and wine glasses and egg. Now, not to steal any of this guy's thunder or anything, but I once stacked two nickels and a dime before I ran out of money.

Keep going for a bunch more examples and a video of him making a stack.

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Harlem Globetrotter Makes 583-Foot Basketball Shot From Top Of Tower

December 7, 2016


This is a video of Harlem Globetrotter Anthony 'Buckets' Blakes making a 583-foot, 8-inch basketball shot from the top of the Tower Of The Americas in San Antonio, Texas. Check out the Magnus effect on that ball! I'm not sure how much testing they had to do and how many shots he actually had to shoot before he made one, but my guess is it wasn't the first one like the video would lead you to believe. Also, no word how many points a 583-foot shot should be worth during an NBA game, but I suspect at least five, possibly six.

Keep going for the video while I repeatedly throw paper balls at the wastebasket and miss.

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It Smells Greasy In Here: KFC Original Recipe Flavored Candles

December 7, 2016


Because smell-eating is the new zero calorie diet, this is the KFC Original Recipe flavored candle created as a part of a social media giveaway by KFC New Zealand. That means you can't buy them, you had to win one by suggesting other wacky KFC products you'd be interested in. Ooh, ooh -- I know. I want a KFC sandwich that tastes like Chick-Fil-A.

In order to win one of the candles, KFC asked followers to suggest other ideas for KFC merchandise, giving a possible sneak peek into the future of KFC-branded personal care and décor -- memorable ideas include fried chicken lip balm, deodorant, and bath bombs, for those who want the immersive KFC experience.

You know what I really want? A bed sheet set that smells like fried chicken and -- AND -- feels greasy like fried chicken. Oh man, and maybe a comforter and pillows filled with mashed potatoes and gravy. Imagine having sex between those sheets. Do you feel sick yet? Maybe a little pukey? Because that was my goal.

Thanks to Jody, who agrees the best candles are the aromatherapy ones you light around the bathtub when you just need a night to relax alone with a glass of wine and the rest of that bottle plus another one.

Real Products That Exist: A Human Saddle For Giving Your Kids Pony Rides

December 7, 2016


Seen here experiencing the joy of fatherhood at maximum levels, a man uses a $31 Pony Up Daddy human saddle to give his daughter a pony ride. The saddle attaches around your torso via Velcro and provides the perfect seat for a child to smack you in the back of the head and bruise your ribs with their heels. Now call me old fashioned, but when I was a kid we didn't have Pony Up Daddies, we rode bareback. Of course that was before all these toy safety laws and concerned parent groups ruined everything. So my wooden rocking horse's head fell off mid-gallop and I cracked my skull open on the brick fireplace mantle, it happens. If anything it made me stronger. Except in the skull, because there is a piece missing now.

Keep going for a worthwhile commercial.

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World Map Of What Countries Are Best At

December 7, 2016


Note: Larger version HERE if squinting isn't your thing.

This is the world map of what countries are best at. It was created by David McCandless of so if you have any problems with it direct your hate in that direction and away from me. I've got enough haters already. "You suck, you're awful!" You sound like my mom.

The data has been collected from the World Bank, United Nations, and other sources. It was then divided into 9 categories (commodity, psychology, ecology, gastronomy, economy, nicety, humanity, technology, and nasty) and assigned to each individual state (excluding the very small ones). It's also worth mentioning that the values are either "mostly per capita" or "% of the population".

Heck yeah the United States clenched the win for spam emails. I love those shifty boner pill offers. I even made a Gmail folder ('B0NARS') just for all the boner pill emails I get. Sometimes when I get sad I go and look through them all and daydream about how big my penis would be if I took them all at once.

Thanks to Tam, who agrees when we defect and start our own country we're going to be the best at being the best.