This is the Adventure Time themed opener (complete with reworked Adventure Time lyrics) for The Simpsons' 28th season premiere episode, '"Monty Burns' Fleeing Circus" (a Mr. Burns flashback episode). The episode airs this Sunday, September 25th and will be the 597th Simpsons ever and the cartoon's first hour long episode. How about that! I don't think I've done anything 597 times besides let my friends and family down.
This is a video of a t-rex named Mark Gomez stealing a jet-ski and proceeding to do a bunch of tricks out on the water. Water: it's crucial to jet-ski tricks. Jet-ski tricks performed in a parking lot are pretty much limited to just sitting there motionless making vroom vroom sounds. I've never been on a jet-ski before. I had the chance once when I was younger but I was too afraid of lake sharks. I don't like water I can't see though, which is why I don't take bubble baths anymore. *pointing* Whoa, what's that?! "Your penis." Haha, yeah it is. Can you bring me the Johnson's No-More-Tears baby shampoo?
Keep going for the video while I eat some cold pizza.
This is a short video from Norway of a homeowner who sent his robotic lawn mower to scare off an apple-thieving moose. SPOILER: the tactic is ineffective and the lawnmower takes a nasty stomping from the moose. Man, could you imagine getting stomped on by a moose? It's no relaxing Thai massage, I can guarantee that. Although now that I think about it there probably IS a market for moose stomp massages. *calling North Pole* Hello, Santa? How much for one of your moose? What do you mean you only have reindeer?! You're useless to me, fat man. By the way I've been really good so far this year okay byeeeeee.
Keep going for the video, then think twice before trying to come between a moose and your apples.
In 1977 NASA launched the Voyager and Voyager II space probes to take a tour of the solar system before continuing off into interstellar space. Attached to each probe is a golden record to serve as "an interstellar message to introduce our civilization to extraterrestrials who might encounter the probes." What's on the record? Let me copy/paste that for you while I eat a handful of almonds because my doctor told me they're healthy. He's fat though. I guess he's more of a 'do as I say, not as I do' kind of doctor. Are you supposed to smoke in the examination room?
The Voyager Golden Record contains the story of Earth expressed in sounds, images, and science: Earth's greatest music from myriad cultures and eras, from Bach and Beethoven to Blind Willie Johnson and Chuck Berry, Senegalese percussion to Solomon Island panpipes. Dozens of natural sounds of our planet -- birds, a train, a baby's cry -- are collaged into a lovely sound poem. There are spoken greetings in 55 human languages, and one whale language, and more than one hundred images encoded in analog that depict who, and what, we are.
Etched on the record's gold-plated aluminum jacket is a diagram explaining where it came from, and how to play it.
Each $98 set comes packaged in a cloth covered box with gold inlay and includes three gold-colored translucent records, a hardcover book, and a lithograph. Fancy! Also, did people get to vote for what they wanted on the record or did NASA choose it all? *Wikipedias* Okay, a NASA committee headed by Carl Sagan chose the contents. *shrug* I guess I trust Carl to not get us killed by the aliens.
Keep going for several more shots and a video. You can see the whole track listing on their already funded Kickstarter page HERE.
Because sometimes when a spatula and a ladle love each other very much they sneak out of their kitchen drawers at night to make sweet, sweet love on the stovetop, this is the $20 spadle, a spatula/ladle hybrid. With a quick twist of its neck it transforms from a live spadle to a dead one a large kitchen spoon to a ladle, and has the flexible tip of a spatula so you can get every last bit of that delicious whatever the hell you made from the serving bowl. I think it's genius. It's perfect for people like me who are already scraping the bottle of the barrel.
Keep going for a video in case you needed a video. And yes the silicone tip comes in eight different colors!
These are the LEGO UAV kits available from Flybrix. The basic $149 kit includes all the pieces you need to make a flying LEGO quad, hexa or octocopter. The copter can be controlled by a mobile app, although a dedicated controller is included in the $189 kit. Fun for all ages! Well, fun for all ages old enough to know not to eat LEGO bricks or fly a drone into their face. One of the best parts about the kits is that they're nearly indestructible. Crash land and break an arm off? No problem, just snap it back on and you're back in business! Just like our arms. "What?" We're all androids, you didn't know that? "I'm not." No? *produces letter opener* Stab yourself in the back of the hand and prove it.
Keep going for two shot of the available kits and a commercial.
These are the movie posters and trailer created by two first names artist Matt Vince for an imagined Zelda movie in the style of Studio Ghibli. If such a movie existed, I would eat it up. And not like a kid tasting sand for the first time, but like how my dog eats wet dog food. Voraciously. I try to get her to slow down but she won't, she just inhales it. Like me with the fumes when I'm pumping gas. *daydreaming, inhales deeply* Man, that and fingernail polish remover.
Hit the jump for the other two posters and trailer.
This is a video demonstration of an LED basketball court in Japan. The images on the court aren't projected from above like some stadiums here in the US, the actual court is made of a bunch of LED panels (no word if the panels affect bounce vs a wooden court). That way players don't have to worry about lights shining in their eyes if the court is displaying something mid-game. Still seems like it would still be distracting though. Plus apparently there are fireballs and smoke machines. Why even play basketball at all, why not just commit to being a circus?