Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial Hedonistica

P0rnogami: A How-To Book For Folding Erotic Origami

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'P0rnogami: A Guide To The Ancient Art Of Paper-Folding For Adults' by Master Sugoi is a 128-page step-by-step instruction book teaching you how to fold paper penises and titties and who knows what else. Did you know you can fold a vagina out of a dollar bill? I did not know that, nor would I ever get intimate with one. You ever gotten a paper cut on your penis before? I finally broke down and bought a letter opener.

Keep going for a couple more steamy shots from the book.

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Mario Running Around In Unreal 4 Engine Environments

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This is a video from Youtuber aryoksini of Mario running around in environments created using Unreal Engine 4. It is quite the departure from existing Mario games. A brief explanation while I try to jimmy the lock on my roommate's food stash and steal a Carnation Instant Breakfast for myself.

Here is Mario running in Unreal Engine 4, all the environment assets were taken from the Unreal marketplace, all the character actions were scripted using blueprints only, all animations were re-created from scratch as well as the PBR ready textures.

I especially like the cel-shaded style environment around the 0:45 mark. I feel like that would actually lend itself to a pretty sweet looking Mario game. Now, by a show of hands -- how many Wii U owners do we have here? Do you all have children or did you buy the system for yourself? I'm only asking because I'd hate to steal the console away from a child when the new Zelda game comes out.

Keep going for the video.

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Why Can't I Own Anything Cool?: Wooden Wave Cabinet

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This is the Wave Cabinet designed and built by Sebastian Errazuriz Studio. It is quite possibly the coolest cabinet I've ever seen. It is also quite possibly the loudest cabinet I've ever seen, so you might want to think twice about buying one for the bedroom if you have any intention of sneaking out of bed to try on your girlfriend's underwear after she falls asleep.

Keep going for a whole video of the thing in action.

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First Person Point Of View Of A Mock Viking Battle

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This is a first person point of view video captured by Alex Yde, who is part of a viking battle themed stunt show. He does a lot of parkour. Overall, the fight looks pretty intense. I love doing battle. Of course, I prefer doing battle from the saddle of my dragon mount, who does a lot of the battling for me. I mostly just like giving orders. Now whip your tail! Sweet, now burn that guy! Heck yeah, now bite him in half and spit his torso over the castle wall! Man, doing battle is the tits. I love it.

Hit the jump for the video, then meet me after school and we'll go play viking warriors by the pond behind my parent's house.

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Blosom, The World's Tallest Cow Stands Over Six Feet Tall

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This is Blosom, the world's tallest cow. Blosom stands 190-centemeters (a little over 6-feet two inches) from hoof to withers (the tallest part of the back, between the front shoulder blades). Blosom's caretaker Patty Meads-Hanson has had Blosom since the cow was 8-weeks old and said she was even taller and more massive when she was 8-years old. Sadly, Blosom had to be put down last month at the age of 13 after suffering an irreparable leg injury, presumably while leading her team to another basketball championship.

Keep going for the Guinness World Record video about Blosom, which was kind of sad to watch knowing she's passed, so I just focused on the part when her owner said she could spray shit up to 10-feet away to keep myself in good spirits.

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Brownie Pan That Make Brownies With Max Crispy Edges

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This is the $18 Crispy Corner Brownie Pan. It's supposed to bake brownies with maximum crispy edges. Is that actually the maximum amount of crispy edges? I have no clue, I failed geometry both times I tried to take it. Why not just use a cupcake pan? Are crispy edges really desirable? I hate crispy edges. If I eat a brownie I want it to be all soft and mushy but I don't even like brownies. I like fudge. Fudge is what brownies wish they were but were too sissy to achieve. When I was a kid my older brother convinced me dogs made fudge and I found out the hard way that they do not.

Heavy Rains And Dam Spillway Create Whirlpool Capable Of Swallowing A Boat

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This is a video capturing a giant intake vortex at the Denison Dam spillway on Lake Texoma. The whirlpool is a result of the lake's unusually high water level due to heavy rains. It measures over 8-feet in diameter and is allegedly capable of swallowing a boat whole. Me? I'd have to cut a boat into little pieces before I could swallow it. "Why is that man staring into a giant butthole?" You know, I'm so glad I can always count on you to bring your A-game to the discussion.

Keep going for the video, then dive down there and see if you can spot Atlantis.

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Little Kid Sets Roller Skating Limbo Record Skating Under 6-Inch Poles For 60 Meters

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This is a video of Little Rithika traveling 60 meters while passing under 6-inch limbo bars to set some sort of new roller skating limbo record (previously: this kid rollerskating under 39 cars). Not to brag or anything, but I still have a swimming record I set when I was 12-years old back at my old swim team's pool in Alabama. It's true, nobody's been able to beat after all these years. Man, it's weird to think I was ever actually good at something.

Keep going for the video. Then don't forget to stretch. I had a friend who forgot to stretch before doing the splits and tore his ballsack open.

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