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Japanese Game Show Challenges Contestant To Perform Karaoke While Being Pleasured


Note: Video probably NSFW depending on how your employer feels about handies.

Even if Godzilla did manage to destroy Japan and it ceased to exist, the rest of the world would never catch up with the quality of the country's game shows. That's just a fact. This is a video from an adult game show in Japan in which the contestant has to perform karaoke while being handily pleasured by a lady. The dude acts like he's never had his wiener touched before. And who knows, maybe he hasn't. Remember when you were a kid and you'd wait till your parents went to bed so you could touch the TV screen with your penis and the static would make it tingle? None of the new Televisions do that. Trust me (lifetime ban from Best Buy).

Keep going for the video.

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Awwwww: Astronaut Gets Official NASA Portrait Taken With His Two Rescue Dogs


These are the official NASA portraits of astronaut Leland Melvin. Apparently he brought his two rescue dogs Jake and Scout into the studio on picture day, and got his official photos taken with them. Beautiful, aren't they? I wish Sears Portrait Studio would have let me bring my pets in to get our family pictures taken. But nooooooo, the photographer was all, "Sorry, but no bears or alligators in the portrait studio, sir!" What a jerk. I had to take Bloody Claws and Legbiter to get ice cream afterward because their feelings were so hurt.

One more shot featuring a much calmer Jake and Scout after the jump.

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It's Him!: Newly Discovered Frog Resembles Kermit


This is Diane's Bare-Hearted Glassfrog, a newly discovered and described species of translucent-bellied frog that lives in the Talamanca Mountains of Costa Rica. It also looks like Kermit the Frog. You think Kermit faked his own death to get away from Miss Piggy and go live in the tropics of Costa Rica? I would, Miss Piggy is notoriously both verbally and physically abusive. That's not a healthy relationship. My relationship with myself? That is a dead-end relationship.

Keep going for a full shot of the frog and underbelly so you can see his guts and heart.

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Guy Builds His Own Mini BB-8 Star Wars Droid


This is the Make Project created by Christian Poulsen detailing how to build your own functional BB-8 droid with a Sphero robotic ball toy, a foam head, and a neodymium magnet. It works pretty well, although his head doesn't stay on top as smoothly as the real BB-8. Still, impressive for homemade, and way better than the BB-8 I made myself. "That is literally just a soccer ball." But-- "You didn't even paint it." I KNOW I KNOW, GOD, WHY CAN'T YOU BE SUPPORTIVE?

Keep going for a video of the mini droid in action. Go HERE to check out the Make Project and build your own.

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To The Woods!: Finally, A Throwing Knife Multi-Tool


This is the 13-inch Kniper, a $75 throwing knife multi-tool designed by Urchin Sky. You can throw it at things, or use one of the other twenty-two tools, including a tobacco pipe. I'm going to throw it at my toes to teach them a lesson about always stubbing themselves on the door frame on my way to the bathroom. "But it's not our fault." Who was that?! Was that you, the one who had roast beef?! "It was the one who cried wee wee wee all the way home, I swear!" I should have known! *producing hand saw* Say goodbye to your little friends.

Keep going for a couple more pictures. Then get out there and accidentally stab yourself in the middle of the woods.

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Not Now, I'm Experimenting: Lab Beaker Wine Glasses


This is the Laboratory Beaker Wine Glass Set ($60). It comes with four 300ml laboratory beakers atop traditional wine stems and makes the perfect glassware for the mad scientist who's always throwing dinner parties to drug and experiment on guests. You know, I have two mason-jar-on-wine-stem cocktail glasses that I got at the Bubba Gump Shrimp restaurant for drinking some fruity, overpriced cocktails. Now you know what I drink out of them? "Chocolate milk?" THE BLOOD OF MY ENEMIES. Jk jk, yeah, chocolate milk.

Keep going for a couple more pics, as well as the BONUS $70 Laboratory Flask Cocktail Shaker Set, and $20 shot glasses in case you're more of a hard liquor kind of person. Me? I prefer a soft licker like a puppy's tongue.

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7-Year Old Writes George Lucas To Change The Rules So Jedis Can Get Married, So He Can Get Married



7-year old Colin Gilpatric recently wrote George Lucas asking him to change the rules so Jedis can get married, so that he can get married in the future without having to become a Sith. Obviously, because George Lucas has absolutely no problem throwing traditional Star Wars canon into a CG Sarlaac pit where Greedo shot first, LucasFilm agreed to the changes. Admittedly, I doubt George was even aware of the request and the response was created by LucasFilm PR, who did a wonderful job fulfilling a young boy's dreams. I dunno, maybe I'm just still a little bitter George Lucas never responded to my request to CG my face onto each side of Princess Leia's golden bikini top during the sail barge scene in the Blu-Ray re-release of Return of the Jedi. I COULD HAVE BEEN A STAR.

Keep going for a picture of the bonus swag LucasFilm sent, as well as a video of Colin opening the package and another of him battling Darth Vader during Disney Star Wars Weekends.

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Minion Yellow: Pantone Releases First New Color In 3 Years, Based On Minions From 'Despicable Me'


Pantone Color Institute has announced it's first new color in three years, Minion Yellow, based off the pill-shaped Minions from 'Despicable Me'. Conveniently, the Minions spin off movie hits theaters July 10th. WHO GOT PAID, I WANT A CUT. A whole lot of words about yellow:

"Just as the sun's rays enliven us, PANTONE Minion Yellow is a color that heightens awareness and creates clarity, lighting the way to the intelligence, originality and the resourcefulness of an open mind - this is the color of hope, joy and optimism," said Leatrice Eiseman, Executive Director, Pantone Color Institute.

Wait -- why does the yellow not match the color of the actual Minions? Isn't that what Minion Yellow should be? That's like Kermit The Frog green being blue. But speaking of yellow: the darker your urine gets, the worse off you are, right? Because mine's kind of a burnt sienna right now.

Thanks to Shannon S, whose favorite color is the pink used in Geekologie links.