Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial Hedonistica

Fox Confirms X-Files Coming Back, Complete With David Duchovny And Gillian Anderson


Proving that everything is cyclical, Fox has just confirmed that after a 13-year hiatus, X-Files is coming back for at least one more six episodes season, complete with David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson reprising their rolls as FBI agents Mulder and Scully. Production is scheduled to start this summer, and its likely each episode will be its own, stand-alone mystery. What was your favorite original episode? Mine was 'Detour', the one about the Spaniards that allegedly found the Fountain of Youth in Florida. Remember that one creepy bastard hiding under the bed at the end? I packed cinderblocks under my bed so nothing could hide under my bed after that. Sadly, it didn't really make sleeping at night any easier because my dad refused to fill my closet with spray foam.

'Post Modern Skateboard' Just A Wheel Around Each Foot


These are the Sidewinding Circular Skates available from (who else?) Hammacher Schlemmer. They move similar to acaster board, but with nothing actually connecting the two wheels. I don't know about being a post modern skateboard though, because you can't even perform any tricks with them. At least not from what I saw in the video. Have I ever told you I broke my arm skateboarding? That was the second time, the first time I did it snowboarding. A titanium plate and six screws later, I've come to accept maybe boarding sports aren't for me. I will still rock the shit out of a bounce house though.

Keep going for a video demonstration.

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McDonald's Fry Gloves Turn Your Fingers Into Fries


These are the McDonald's French Fry Gloves designed by Dallas advertising agency Moroch. Presumably to use in a hidden video ad campaign to prove McDonald's French fries are so appealing that people can and will bite off the fingers of a stranger if they even remotely look like them.

Keep going for one more shot.

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Deus Ex: Trippy Geometric 3-D Tattoo Sleeve


This is a video of the trippy 3-D tattoo sleeve some cyborg got. It made my eyes bend. Now I'm cross-eyed. Will I have to get Terminator eyes? Maybe. Will they be able to see through walls? Hopefully. Will they be able to see through shirts and bras? That's really all I care about. Well that and night vision. Oh shit -- and shooting lasers.

Keep going for the worthwhile video. I'm going to get a ghost pirate ship tattoo.

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Simply Impassible: Alice In Wonderland Face Doorknob


This is the $85 Alice In Wonderland doorknob kit made and sold by Etsy seller propsculptor. It looks like the talking doorknob from the drink me/eat me scene in the movie. I always thought that doorknob was a jerk. And kinda dumb too. Like my roommate. Don't tell him I said that though. I'm kidding, I specifically told you knowing that you would tell him. Also tell him to pick up some more toilet paper on his way home or he can kiss his socks goodbye.

Keep going for several more shots, including one with Darth Vader in the background (they are both Disney properties now).

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Skip This, Go Straight To Dinos: Scientists Make 'Giant Step' In Resurrecting The Woolly Mammoth


Scientists at Harvard have successfully reproduced and inserted 14 woolly mammoth genes into an elephant genome, and it have it function without problem. Apparently this is a major step in resurrecting woolly mammoths, which I'm not totally sure why we're resurrecting in the first place. Because we can? They need to resurrect the pet turtle I had as a kid is what they need to do.

A new method known as 'Crispr' - helping scientists make accurate changes to DNA - was used by genetics professor George Church, who replaced parts of elephant DNA with the mammoth genes.

He said: 'We prioritised genes associated with cold resistance including hairiness, ear size, subcutaneous fat and, especially, haemoglobin (the protein that carries oxygen around the body).'

'De-extinction' enthusiast Mr Church, who was speaking to The Sunday Times science editor Jonathan Leake, added: 'We now have functioning elephant cells with mammoth DNA in them.'

Interesting. Now I want to resurrect extinct animals as much as the next guy who has erotic dino fantasies nightly, but I can't help but feel a little weary about playing God. I mean, when the dinosaurs started getting too smart and sexy look at what he did to them -- METEOR. Is he going to pitch another one at us? I hope so. I pray for it at night. Plus that the tooth fairy accepts adult teeth and they're worth more than baby ones.

Thanks to Dunc, who agrees the should just try reburying one in Pet Sematary.

T-Shirt With Mean Little Kitten Hanging Out In Pocket


This is the Lord Nermal t-shirt available for pre-order from RIPNDIP. It looks like there's a little cat hanging out in your pocket. Then when you pull the pocket down it looks like there's a little cat hanging out in your pocket flipping you the bird. Apparently cats don't like hanging out in pockets. Mice do though. Unless we're talking about Lenny from Of Mice And Men, in which case mice do not like hanging out in his pockets. His pockets are a death sentence. You want to know what's in my chest pocket? Take a peek in there, what do you see? "The hole you cut to your nipple?" Heck yeah, give it a lil tweak.

Keep going for a shot of the rear. SPOILER: Praying Jesus hands holding kitty.

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Rude: National Geographic Interrupts Boning Tortoises, Slowest Speed Chase Ensues


This is a video of some folks from National Geographic who interrupt two giant tortoises trying to get their sex on, and then the male chases them away at a speed that can only be described as not very fast at all. Still, National Geographic, why you going to go and disturb two boning tortoises? They probably waited over 100 years for this moment, then you come along and ruin it. If I was that tortoise I would be PISSED. I would also have a jetpack and a ninja sword to deal with the interruption swiftly and deadly.

Keep going for the video and note to yourself how much giant tortoise heads look like mutant penises.

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