Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial Hedonistica

Grandma Would Love Those: Cross-Stitch Style Tattoos

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This is a series of cross-stitch style tattoos inked by Turkish tattoo artist Eva Krbdk. I'd get one, but I'm afraid of commitment so I just hot-superglued (a method I developed myself) one of my grandma's existing cross-stitches to my arm. In hindsight I probably should have just gotten the tattoo though because I'm not sure this is coming off. *peels corner, tears skin, sees muscle* Uh-oh. You think maybe I can dissolve the bond with boiling water or acid or something? "Boiling acid for sure." GOOD CALL.

Keep going for several more examples.

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Nature Documentary: Lasers Bats Vs Laser Crocs Battle

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This is a BBC nature documentary about bats and crocodiles that has been edited to give both species laser shooting capabilities. It made me think long and hard about whether I'd prefer to ride a giant laser-shooting bat or giant laser-shooting crocodile into battle. You know what I think I've finally decided on? A HYBRID OF BOTH. Could you even imagine what that would look like?! "A dragon." Oh, I guess you're right.

Keep going for the video, then wish you could shoot crazy lasers out of your mouth like David Lo Pan.

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WTF: Guy Attaches Nerf Suction Cup Darts To His Eyeballs

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This is a video of Charles Tietjen sticking Nerf suction cup darts to his contacts and looking around like some sort of ultra creeper. I guess it was smart of Charles to only stick the darts to his contacts because I don't wear contacts and now both my eyeballs are hanging out of their sockets and I can only see the bottom row of my keyboard and my penis.

Keep going for the whole video.

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Blindfolded Guy Speedruns Super Mario World In 23 Min

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This is a video of Super Mario World lover and speedrunner PangaeaPanga blasting through the game in 23 minutes WHILE BLINDFOLDED. He only dies a handful of times. For reference, I can't even figure out which way to hold the controller while blindfolded. I tried playing the original Super Mario Bros while blindfolded once and wound up walking through a screen door and falling off my balcony.

Keep going for this video, as well as PangaeaPanga beating the hardest Super Mario World level ever created, which he actually made, and took three years to finally beat.

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'Heroes Reborn' Trailer Offers New Heroes, Old Faces, Soul Patches

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Hey, remember NBC's Heroes? Well, that's back. But now the cast is just the guy who played Hiro and a bunch of those hauntingly realistic "reborn" baby dolls. Cool! Here's a preview:

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Did Somebody Eat My Top?: The Pepperoni Pizza Bikini

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This is the Pizza Bikini available from Pyknik. The top and bottom cost $32 apiece, for a total of $64, making it the most expensive pizza you'll ever order. It also only comes in pepperoni, so if you were hoping for other toppings you are out of luck. What other toppings does a person need anyways? "Mushrooms." I do like mushrooms. "Black olives." I love black olives too. Still, I feel like the shape of the bikini top really lends itself to looking like two slices of pizza complete with crust at the bottom and everything and I feel like they blew the opportunity to make that happen. Even the bottoms could have been really wide-cut slice. But what do I know, I'm just a genius product designer who's only run six companies into the ground.

Keep going for two more shots.

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Bethesda Agrees To Honor Man's 2,240 Bottle Cap Payment For Fallout 4 Pre-Order

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In news that makes me even angrier I didn't think of it first, Bethesda has agreed to honor Imgurian GatorMacheteJr's payment of 2,240 predominately hard cider bottle caps for a pre-order of Fallout 4. The announcement was made by Bethesda Community Manager (aka fan liaison) Matt Grandstaff via Twitter, and sounds like it will be the only time bottle cap payment is accepted, so don't get any ideas. Remember: second place is the first loser.

He told me since I was the first person to do this, I would be receiving a copy of the game this November, and that he would be running my caps over to deposit them at the People's Bank of Point Lookout.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? "Start saving bottle caps for Fallout 5?" What? No. There is no way I'll still be alive by the time Fallout 5 comes out. I was going to say I should tell my family I'm getting married then create a wedding registry with nothing but Fallout 4 on it so somebody buys it for me. "There is no way they'd believe you even have a girlfriend." True. You know what my dad said when I told him I was bringing a girl home for Thanksgiving last year? Me neither, it was hard to understand through all the laughing. I think he was asking which hand she is though.

Thanks again to SV, for reminding me of things my brain is too sad to remember on its own.

Ursula?!: Custom Made Octopus Tentacle High Heels

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These are the Polypodis high heels made by shoe designer Kermit Tesoro. They look like you're walking on a bunch of octopus tentacles. *eyeballing tentacle sticking into foot* But are they comfortable? That was a trick question, since when has fashion been comfortable? You think I squeeze myself into these sweat pants everyday because they're comfortable? "Wait -- you have to SQUEEZE into sweatpants?" Let's talk about anything else.

Keep going for one more shot with less foot in it.

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