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So, It's Come To This: Russian Martial Arts School Teaches How To Fight With A Selfie Stick


Let's be honest: if you're constantly carrying an extended selfie stick, chances are somebody is going to want to beat you up. Enter the M-Profi Combat Sports Center in Moscow, which has allegedly developed a new style of martial art called monopod fighting, which teaches students how to effectively whack somebody with a selfie stick. Sweep the leg -- no mercy.

A trained monopodist responds to an attacker by smashing the selfie stick into vulnerable areas, such as the groin or throat, or uses it to trip, entangle, or throw an opponent to the ground.

Is this really a NEW fighting technique though? I mean, it's just a stick. People have been fighting with sticks since the beginning of time. They were probably the first weapons ever used. Sticks or rocks. Still, a selfie stick does have the advantage of helping you take cool pictures of yourself after defeating an opponent. Hey -- want to see a pic of me standing on a guy's face?

Keep going for a video of the fighting technique that's absolutely not sweeping any nation.

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Guy Builds Lifesize TIE Fighter Christmas Lights Display


Because the Galactic Empire doesn't care if Thanksgiving has passed or not, this is the lifesize TIE fighter light display created by a friend of Imgur user guitarfarts (who presumably sounds like a Nickelback cover band). It is most impressive. I've been brainstorming what kind of light display I'm going to do this year and I'm torn between taking the cover off my porch light and absolutely nothing. I am like the Grinch if the Grinch's heart was actually five sizes too small and penis eight too big.

Thanks to Dunc, who's going for a Griswold family style Christmas light display this year.

36-Story Apartment Tower To Be Covered With Trees


This is the "La Tour des Cedres" (The Tower of Cedars) to be built in Lausanne, Switzerland. In addition to its human residents, the 384-foot tall (117m) apartment complex will house over 100 trees, 6,000 shrubs and 18,000 plants. My apartment building? It houses over 60 withering houseplants, 40 f***ing weirdos, at least two witches, and a suspected serial killer. If I wasn't so terrified to ever leave my apartment I would move.

The plants will protect the apartments inside from harsh winds, dust, and noise pollution, and will offer a more pleasant view of the city.

The plants will not, however, protect the apartments from getting their balconies constantly covered in bird shit. Speaking of -- raise your hand if you've ever had a bird shit on you. Now everybody look around. The people with their hands raised have what is commonly known as 'bad luck'. Or birds hate them. A bird tried pooping on me once but I was wearing a hat so it kind of ricocheted off the bill and all over my girlfriend's shoulder and arm. I laughed so hard she broke up with me, true story.

Keep going for a bunch more renderings.

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Will Chug For Mana: Color Changing Potion Desk Lamp


This is the $40 LED Potion Desk Lamp available from ThinkGeek. The touch-activated lamp has an area of effect of about five feet and can be set to glow red, green, yellow or blue, or slowly fade through the whole spectrum. What's your favorite color potion? I like the purple ones that give me increased LABEEDO. "You didn't even spell it right." Please, when you have a penis like this you don't need to know how to spell. Unfortunately, the liquid in these potions is actually solid resin so they're undrinkable. But did that stop me from shattering the bottle on my desk and trying to chew the pieces? "I'm guessing not." Is my mouth bleeding?

Keep going for another shot and a video.

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Student Snapchat-Documents Her Math Teacher Trying To Hit On Another Teacher, Crashing And Burning


This is the series of Snapchat photos that 16-year old Sydney took of her math teacher Mr. T (but not that Mr. T, the real Mr. T would pity this fool) trying to hit on another teacher. Apparently the female teacher mentions her great boyfriend several times before Mr. T abandons hope and returns to loudly typing at his computer. I imagine after class he angrily tore that 'For Success, Attitude Is As Important As Ability' banner down before going to puke in the boy's bathroom.

Keep going for the entire interaction.

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Living The Dream: A Crow Riding A Windshield Wiper


This is a video of a crow riding a windshield wiper. He is loving it. This is probably like riding an amusement park ride for a crow and that's saying a lot because crows can ALREADY FLY which is way more exhilarating than any roller coaster. If I could fly I would never visit another amusement park again. Okay that's not true but I would only go for the food and trying to win the big stuffed animals. You know what my funnel cake eating record is? "Four?" ALL OF THEM. Plus six corn dogs and three cotton candies. If I was a bird I would definitely be too heavy to fly. When I was feeling down the other day you know what my buddy told me? Keep your chins up. That's when I tackled him and tried to smother him between my tits.

Keep going for the video, then wish the crows in your neighborhood were cooler and liked to party.

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Look Mom, I'm A Sith Lord: Become Darth Vader Or Chewbacca With This Star Wars Bedding


These are two Star Wars twin-size bedding sets created by SNURK and being sold by J. Crew. They cost $90 and come with a duvet cover and pillow that either look like Darth Vader or Chewbacca. Plus if you don't want to pretend to BE one of them, you can pretend you're sleeping NEXT to one of them. I bet Chewbacca is a great cuddler provided his fur isn't matted and smell like urine. Which I imagine it absolutely does. Plus if he decides to stretch out your ass is getting knocked out of bed. I used to date a girl that was nine feet tall and she took up a king size bed plus another queen at the bottom and I slept in a sleeping bag on the bathroom floor. Our relationship was perfect except for pretty much everything.

Keep going for Chewie.

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Vaping Your Face Off: Guy's Incredible Smoke Ring Trick


This is a video of really-looking-to-go-professional vaper Danny LoLo with a cool smoke ring trick. How does he get the smoke to spiral on that second blow? Those look like the kind of tricks you can only learn from a wizard. You know I had a wizard offer to teach me magic once. But he said I had to complete a bunch of quests for him first and when I finally finished them all it turns out he wasn't a wizard after all, just a guy who lived in the woods and loved getting high but hated running his own errands.

Keep going for the Facebook video. Hopefully it works for you. If it doesn't I want you to write Mark Zuckerberg directly and tell him to give me a cushy job with a corner office.

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