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Results for "heaven"

  • November 16, 2011
    I posted about turning a loved one's ashes (or anyone you want to dig up and burn, really) into a diamond back in 2009, so this isn't really a new concept. But death diamonds can cost up to $20K, where as dead body beads will only set you back $870, making them the obvious cho... / Continue →
  • May 17, 2011
    Wait -- so there's no heaven, or it's just not wheelchair accessible? Stephen Hawking, in a tireless effort to bring the church down on him like the great thinkers that have come before him (I hope you have nitrous boost on that wheelchair!), first proclaimed there is no God (... / Continue →
  • May 11, 2011
    Is that a 'life back' guarantee? That's right folks, ten days to Judgement Day. That's the highest you can count on two hands provided you weren't born with extra digits (I have a half-pinky so I can round-up to eleven!). Apparently some religious zealots have unraveled th... / Continue →
  • January 28, 2010
    Allegedly this is a picture of the internet (high-res version HERE). Only thing is, I freaking live in the internet and it doesn't look all that familiar. I mean, where are all the naked ladies? Everybody knows the internet is at least 40% naked ladies. AND men. I just shy... / Continue →
  • October 6, 2009
    This is a scene from some German television program that gets raided by a bunch of dinosaurs. And let me tell you: when that raptor first came running out I thought it was CG. But it wasn't. And neither were my 30 boners! My God, I've never wanted to be part of a live studi... / Continue →
  • October 5, 2009
    In wonderful news, at least according to this $18 t-shirt design from Threadless (where were you on this, CNN?!), all dinosaurs go to heaven. So yeah, maybe there's a merciful God after all. But, as a guy who wasn't ever planning on seeing the pearly gates: does the Catholic ... / Continue →
  • April 1, 2009
    25-year old England native Tim Eves collapsed and died while playing Wii Fit with his girlfriend and best friend. I am officially never working out again. Tim Eves was 'jogging' on a Wii Fit games console as Emma Tuck and Lewis Hickin looked on, when he slumped to the floor. ... / Continue →
  • March 25, 2009
    Canned bacon. Undoubtedly the best course of The Last Supper, Yoder brand canned bacon can now be yours. Plus, it comes in sweet-ass camo cans. Hey, where'd my bacon go?!? For the first time in almost 20 years, canned bacon is back in this Country. Not available in any stor... / Continue →
  • February 2, 2009
    That happy little camper is a Pyrenean ibex. He's from Narnia. And sadly, he's dead. Along with all the other Pyrenean ibexes. But scientists just cloned one from frozen cells but then it died too. So there aren't any more. Which is a real shame, they look delicious. Usin... / Continue →
  • November 21, 2008
    This is God's Facebook page from the time of Genesis. Unfortunately, I only have screenshots of it because the dude won't accept my friendship request. You sell your soul to the devil for a blogging job ONE TIME.... Hit it for the rest, which I thought was pretty clever.... / Continue →