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Results for "you can't do that"

  • June 20, 2016
    Nice, and right by the end-cap of lighter fluid. This is a video of an entire fireworks display at Wal-Mart going off because two jackasses set it on fire. Now I love fire and fireworks as much as the next man who wishes he had giant Roman candles for arms, but you can't go a... / Continue →
  • December 15, 2011
    This is a video of some idiot trying to run over his girlfriend in a truck after she ducks into a gas station for safety. He misses her, but manages to hit the owner after plowing though the entire store. But the excitement doesn't stop there, oh no! Captain Roadkill then ge... / Continue →
  • December 1, 2011
    Remember the dipshit who drove the Bugatti into a Texas lagoon to "avoid hitting a pelican" except we all know there wasn't one because brobro never would've guessed in a million years some other idiot that thought he was driving a Lamborghini was filming the whole scene? Well... / Continue →
  • October 31, 2011
    "I'm f***in' faded bro -- I'm talkin' Dagobah drunk." A 42-year old German man dressed as Yoda struck a pedestrian with his car and decided to try using the Force to make a quick getaway. Buuuuuuuuuuut he probably couldn't reach the peddles or something and police arrested hi... / Continue →
  • July 26, 2011
    A 21-year old Chinese couple WITH THREE CHILDREN sold them all to afford their internet cafe gaming addictions. The first child fetched less than $500, while the second two netted almost $4,600. No word what was wrong with the first one. The couple was turned in after Li Lin... / Continue →
  • September 24, 2010
    Somebody in England dyed a CAT (whew, way to keep it clean GW) pink and threw it over a fence into somebody else's yard this week because they're too stupid to realize cats don't get jokes. Dingleberries yes, jokes no. The two-year-old, who has been named Pink, is said to be ... / Continue →
  • May 24, 2010
    There's quality journalism and then there's quality journalism. And this is the latter. I'm talking about words strung together so profoundly that Putlizer himself just rolled over in his grave and shat a printing press. BERVARD COUNTY, Fla. -- The Brevard County doctor who ... / Continue →
  • April 10, 2010
    Note: Video of Princess Pissypants is after the jump. Further proving the questionable reality of her initial video, Starcraft II Beta Breakup girl is back at it, this time smashing one of her ex-boyfriend's windows with a brick and tossing a running hose in the hole. WTF, PS... / Continue →
  • March 8, 2010
    Apparently Castle Grayskull's gift shop is looking for a new cashier after Orko was caught stealing from the register. For shame, Orko, Prince Albert would not be happy. Oh did I say Albert? I meant Adam. No, no I didn't (I wanted to see you squirm thinking about a ring thr... / Continue →
  • November 4, 2009
    18-year old idiot moron James N. P. Miller (because one initial wasn't enough) scored a DWI (you can't even drink legally!) on Halloween while wearing his 'blow here' breathalyzer costume. Not so good lookin', N.P. Can I call you N.P.? You know I'm going to anyways. Accordi... / Continue →
  • July 20, 2009
    The natural satellite burglars over at Moon Publicity want to create ads on the moon by using robots that can draw in the dust. The whole idea has several problems. 1. robots and 2. ADVERTISING ON THE MOON. Like the aliens don't already hate us enough. WEST VALLEY CITY, ... / Continue →
  • December 16, 2008
    Apparently the Russian patent office granted a trademark to resident doucheweed Oleg Teterin, a man who now allegedly owns the rights to the ;-) emoticon. WTF! But critics doubt the trademark's legal basis as the emoticon has been in the public domain for years. "I want t... / Continue →
  • July 28, 2008
    Wow, just wow. Kevin Wade and Mathew Richard, two 17-year olds from Houston, Texas, were recently arrested for abusing a corpse. They didn't try to have sex with it, but they did remove the skull to make a bong. Police were interviewing Jones about the debit card fraud whe... / Continue →