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Results for "real products"

  • August 28, 2015
    This is the Russian-design werewolf dog muzzle. It costs about $30 and you can buy one HERE. It makes your dog look insane. That is probably not a good look for a dog unless you want people calling the authorities telling them you're walking a rabid hellhound around town. P... / Continue →
  • August 25, 2015
    This is the chainmail wine bottle sleeve available from ThinkGeek ($25). It keeps your wine bottle safe from sword and arrow attacks. It does not keep your wine bottle safe from being opened and drank though, which is why I'm a little bit tipsy right now. *hiccup* Hey. Hey.... / Continue →
  • August 18, 2015
    Maybe underboob sweat absorbers have existed for forever. Maybe your aunt swears by them. Beats me, I don't really know much about boobs besides they're fun to look at, I can't wait to touch some, and apparently they play an important role when you have a baby (I think babies... / Continue →
  • August 17, 2015
    Come on -- Samsung doesn't make Game Boys! FreezerBoy is a $20 set of refrigerator magnets that make your fridge look like a giant Game Boy. They also work on washers/dryers. Plus cars made out of metal. My car? My car is made out of cardboard. Usually I sit in it in the... / Continue →
  • August 13, 2015
    This is the Splorch ovipositor sex toy from Primal Hardwere. It was designed to resemble an alien or insect's egg-laying organ and used to squeeze homemade gelatin eggs into your own holes (eggs are inserted into the rear of the toy and massaged forward). It is probably not t... / Continue →
  • August 7, 2015
    The Fly Pry is a teensy titanium multi-tool that can also be used as a zipper pull. It's currently an already-funded Kickstarter campaign so $25 will get you one when they ship this November. It's functions include bottle opener, pulltab lifter (LOLOL), can opener, scraper/mi... / Continue →
  • July 29, 2015
    This is the $200 InTime Inflatable Bathtub. It's a portable blow-up bathtub complete with electric air pump and drain hose, although I'm not sure how you're supposed to get your bathwater into it. Buckets? Based on the picture, it's perfect for getting in with all your cloth... / Continue →
  • July 28, 2015
    This is the Balloon Dog Light available from Firebox (plus maybe other places -- searching for the best deal is 2/3 the fun of internet shopping!). It looks like the balloon dog a clown might twist at a kid's birthday party. Do kids even have clowns at their birthday parties ... / Continue →
  • July 27, 2015
    This is The Most Realistic Racing Simulator (that's what they named it) available from Hammacher Schlemmer for $185,000. I am going to buy one and put it in my arcade. "You don't have an arcade." Fine, I am going to buy one and put it in my garage. "You don't have a garage.... / Continue →
  • July 27, 2015
    This is the $60 R2-D2 Dome Purse available from ThinkGeek (among other places -- shop around!). It looks like R2-D2 and holds things. Not very big things, mind you. Will it be this fall's must-have fashion accessory? I doubt it. Will slap-bracelets and toe rings make a com... / Continue →
  • July 24, 2015
    This is the $40 Rocket Raccoon backpack available from ThinkGeek (and possibly other places but I didn't look because you never hired me as your personal shopper even though I think I'd be great at it because we have the same taste. Do you like Watermelon Sour Patch Kids? "YE... / Continue →
  • July 21, 2015
    This is the Magical Unicorn Umbrella available from ThinkGeek ($15). It has a unicorn head handle and a rainbow canopy. It provides +5 whimsy on rainy days, and the standard -10 luck if ever opened indoors. You know, I opened an umbrella indoors once. Life has been miserabl... / Continue →
  • July 17, 2015
    Remember that Loch Ness Monster ladle? Well now Nessie's mom has joined the party as a strainer. I am going to eat so much soup I only have to sit down to go to the bathroom twice a month! You can buy the strainer alone for $19, or as a set with the lil Nessie ladle for $34... / Continue →
  • July 16, 2015
    Fox has announced it will be releasing officially licensed Duff beer in Chile (and more South American and European countries next year) to combat the unlicensed knock-offs that have been available for years. No word if the beer will ever make it to the U.S. market, or if anyb... / Continue →
  • July 14, 2015
    This is the Water Sports Inflatable Pizza Slice Swimming Pool Float. It costs $62 on Amazon and comes with two integrated cup holders. For reference, that is $31 per cup holder. I am going to float myself out to sea on this thing and try to score a date with a mermaid. Do m... / Continue →
  • July 13, 2015
    This is the $1,000 TwerkingButt sex toy available from P0rnhub this August (go to twerkingbutt.com for more info and videos). There is also a non-twerking version available for $700 in case twerking scares you and you're afraid of your penis getting butt-danced off. The sex t... / Continue →
  • July 13, 2015
    This is a 'Bad Dog' firework that produces a monster turd out of its flaming ass after the fuse is lit. It's basically just a black snake firework with some bonus crackles at the end. Still, the flaming ass: I think we've all been there. Being doubled over on the toilet in p... / Continue →
  • July 9, 2015
    The Dragonscale Handbag of Holding is a $60 handbag available from ThinkGeek. It has 15 pockets for storing a shit-ton of stuff, a faux dragonscale exterior (actually vegan leather) and a zipper pull that looks like a D20. That is probably the nicest thing about it. The nice... / Continue →
  • July 9, 2015
    This is the $30 Knight Rider K.I.T.T. USB Car Charger available from ThinkGeek. It plugs into a car's 12V power socket/cigarette lighter and has two USB charging ports. Plus it lights up and talks. However it will NOT drive your car for you, although I convinced my roommate ... / Continue →
  • July 8, 2015
    ...What's going on here? This is the $568 (including international shipping) giant Minion bed available from Chicciho. If you just search 'Minion bed' online though it looks like a bunch of places are selling different versions, all of which I assume are entirely unlicensed. ... / Continue →