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Results for "real products"

  • July 10, 2014
    You ever made it rain before? I did once. I had to sacrifice two goats and perform a sacred ritual under the full moon. It was all very messy and I regret not just trying to bribe Storm. You ever made it rain IN A STRIP CLUB? I have not. Although it would be funny to see ... / Continue →
  • July 9, 2014
    This is the $70 Sexy Dinosaur Costume available from Yandy. It's perfect for the woman who wants to look like a woman in a ridiculous shiny dinosaur costume. Now I know you probably thought I would be into this, but come on, even I've got my limits. The arm proportions are a... / Continue →
  • July 9, 2014
    This is a new line of depressingly scented candles from The Flicking Candle Company (~$17). They come in scents like Signed Divorce Papers, Cancelled Vacation, Grandma's Last Christmas Tree, College Rejection Letter, Defriend, Freshman 15 Poundcake, Driving While Intoxicated, ... / Continue →
  • July 2, 2014
    Friends Fun Wine (sounds like a great name to market to kids) are coffee flavored wines with about as much alcohol as a moderate beer. They come in a can. Your mom will love them. Unfortunately, they don't contain any caffeine. They screwed that up. Looks like I'll be stic... / Continue →
  • June 26, 2014
    Don't act like you've never thought about it. Because who hasn't dreamed of humping a tablet, Fleshlight has just announced that the LaunchPAD, a Fleshlight-holding iPad case, is now a real $25 product (Fleshlight not included). Previously: the concept for the product I poste... / Continue →
  • June 24, 2014
    Because who doesn't want to pretend to dine on the skulls of their enemies, these are the anatomically correct chocolate skulls cast by Etsy seller BlackChocolateCo. Each skull is made with 1.5kg (~3.3-pounds) of your choice of chocolate and costs $120. *spit-takes blood* Th... / Continue →
  • June 24, 2014
    The AirDog is a GoPro toting quadrocopter drone that uses a body-mounted tracking device to follow you around and film whatever the hell you're doing. Which is probably some EXTREME SPORT. Or getting hit in the head with a quadrocopter. The drones are currently a Kickstarter... / Continue →
  • June 23, 2014
    These are $45 Nanoblock sunglasses. They're covered in LEGO-like studs. They're not LEGO compatible though, they're only Nanoblock compatible. Apparently Nanoblocks are a miniaturized version of LEGO from Japan. Want to build a little Nanoblock fairy trimming your eyebrows?... / Continue →
  • June 5, 2014
    These are the Transformer trucker hats with masks available from Stylin' Online ($22). You can choose between an Autobot hat with Optimus Prime mask or Decepticon hat with Megatron mask. If you're buying one to rob a bank though I suggest going with Optimus so security won't ... / Continue →
  • April 23, 2014
    What the -- 100% cotton?! Because life is hard without the right novelty products to make it through the day, here's a compilation of people sucking at life in infomercials. It's got it all -- the woman who can't tie a towel around herself after a shower, people who can't cra... / Continue →
  • April 22, 2014
    Because sometimes trying to sneak a bottle of bourbon taped to your nuts into a sporting event still gets confiscated by security, now there's Palcohol, a powdered alcohol that's just been approved for sale in the US. That way security will just think it's fat sack of coke and... / Continue →
  • April 17, 2014
    Because who hasn't ever dreamed of big-spooning a body pillow with a sexy cartoon Captain Kirk on one side and Spock on the other, Etsy seller IdentityProductions is making all of our wildest dreams come true with this $50 pillow cover. And by 'our wildest dreams' I mean 'you... / Continue →
  • April 11, 2014
    This is Bilbo's Bath and Shire Gel. Shire, get it? If you don't you might be having a stroke. The ironic thing about this is that Hobbits rarely bathe. They all smell like a shit in the sun on the hottest day of summer. Fact: Gandalf actually faked his death with the Balro... / Continue →
  • March 21, 2014
    These are the R2-D2 swim trunks available from everybody's favorite store in the mall next to an Auntie Anne's Pretzels, Hot Topic. They're on sale for $22.13. For some reason in their online store they're in the girl's section, but that's definitely a dude in the picture. A... / Continue →
  • February 28, 2014
    There will come a day where every single item will be available with a Star Wars theme. That day was yesterday. This is the £19 (~$34) Star Wars Lightsaber BBQ Tong from The Fowndry. They're barbeque tongs that look like Darth Vader's laser sword. No matter what your partner... / Continue →
  • February 26, 2014
    But why is it round?! This is the Cork Globe from SUCK UK. It costs $200. You're supposed to use it to push-pin all the cities and countries you've visited so when people come into your office they'll see just how well traveled you are and get super intimidated by your world... / Continue →
  • January 31, 2014
    This is the $190 Krang belt buckle made and sold by Etsy member ChristopherGenovese. That would look awesome on my pants. Hell, that would look awesome even if I wasn't wearing pants. Or underwear. Just Krang hanging out steering my penis. Make it rise! I sense a homemade... / Continue →
  • January 9, 2014
    Remember the leaked pics of the new LEGO Simpsons set? Well here are the actual details. Per official press release and not the bullshit my cat made up and tried to tell me over lunch: The Simpsons House is scheduled to launch February 1st in LEGO stores and via the LEGO Sh... / Continue →
  • December 10, 2013
    Originally I misspelled the title 'snowglove'. How embarrassing would that have been if I hadn't caught it? "Not any more so than the rest of the mistakes you make." TRUE. Remember that time I accidentally copy/pasted one of my sexy Google Chat conversations into a post and... / Continue →
  • December 6, 2013
    This is the $6,500 Santa Stake-Out kit being sold by PlanetOptics so you can spy on Santa while he's making his rounds. Me? I'm not sitting around in the cold waiting for that fat bastard to go flying by, I'm going to lure him to me. "With milk and cookies?" What is this, a... / Continue →