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Results for "pants"

  • June 4, 2014
    These are believed to be the oldest pants in the world, recently excavated from a tomb in China. They belonged to a nomadic herder, who likely wore them for riding horseback. When I'm riding horseback? Full knight's armor and a flaming lance. With straight-fitting legs and ... / Continue →
  • December 19, 2013
    Transform and-- ooooh, I like your pants. This is the gingerbread Optimus Prime made by a friend of a friend of Redditor downvotedagain. Is the girl in the picture the one who made it? No clue. Is it actually held together with icing? I doubt it. Hot glue and a metal arma... / Continue →
  • January 16, 2013
    Excuse me miss, I think you forgot something. "Yes?" A scrunchie! Wrangler, a brand best known for conjuring up images of tight-assed cowboys whenever you think of them, is releasing the world's first line of moisturizing jeans for ladies. Hey -- I like my legs to feel soft... / Continue →
  • September 17, 2012
    This is a $90 glowing coin slot belt buckle by Insignificant Fish Industries. I'm not sure who the insignificant fish is, but you better not say Nemo or you and I WILL be required to fist fight. This Belt buckle is made from genuine recycled arcade parts that died in the line... / Continue →
  • May 23, 2012
    In hipster-heartbreaking news, some doctors are now claiming that ultra-tight "skinny" jeans are causing leg-related health problems, and at least one really fantastic looking bulge in the front of a blogger's pants. ABC recently interviewed Dr. Karen Boyle from Greater Balt... / Continue →
  • May 17, 2012
    Seen here looking suspiciously like a burnt steak and a half-eaten pickle, two of the seven beach rocks a 43-year old woman was carrying when her shorts caught fire await analysis to determine what caused them to spontaneously combust. I blame Poseidon. And I'm not just sayin... / Continue →
  • May 6, 2011
    These are some cute assed (LITERALLY!) Hello Kitty pants etsy user Mazter knit for her daughter. Only catch is, she isn't selling the pants themselves, just the pattern. So you'll just have to order the pattern and then ask your mom to PICK UP THOSE NEEDLES AND GET CRACKIN CAUS... / Continue →
  • May 3, 2011
    That's gonna feel great in your ass. Apparently tactical pants are a real thing. Personally, I think MacGyver would argue any pair of pants can be tactical with the right tools in your pockets, but what do I know? I'm just an ex-CIA operative a guy who cut a hole in a pair o... / Continue →
  • June 30, 2010
    So apparently starting with issue #600 (out today), Wonder Woman is hanging up her patriotic panties for yoga pants. In other news, Wonder Woman comic book sales to perverts have dropped 85%. Per Wonder Woman writer J. Michael Straczynski: It's a look designed to be taken se... / Continue →
  • April 2, 2010
    I'm really proud of that title I came up with. No, no I'm not. But I am the proud parent of a Liberty Middle School honor roll student. No, I'm not that either. But I am a pathological liar. While it's unclear exactly how these things attach to a belt from these pictures, ... / Continue →
  • February 8, 2010
    Because Snuggies alone don't suck enough ass, somebody went and invented Pajama Jeans. What are Pajama Jeans? I don't even want to know. But you do, don't you? Fine, I'll randomly copy/paste some paragraphs and hope they do the trick BUT ONLY BECAUSE I'M A HARD-HITTING JOUR... / Continue →
  • January 4, 2010
    You like how I worked both pants AND shirt into the title? I know, it's like I stuffed a whole outfit into that bitch. And let me tell you: they don't teach you that kind of word wizardry at Hogwarts. OR blogging school. Which, ZOMG, I'm totally gonna open. Anyway, this is... / Continue →
  • December 25, 2009
    Despite what your parents tell their therapists, you must have been good this year because Santa sent me this Zelda/Link upskirt to share with you. So, yeah, [insert joke about seeing her Triforce here]. Also, [something something Master Sword]. Hyrule Upskirts=Awesome [hawt... / Continue →
  • December 17, 2009
    Snow Shorts are a pair of shorts that have a sled bottom so you can sail down snowy hills without lugging an annoying-ass sled everywhere you go. Also, I want it to be noted that Raphael there is doing it horribly, horribly wrong. You won't have to worry about carrying your s... / Continue →
  • October 22, 2009
    This is a blue screen of death belt buckle. It costs $17 and is currently on back order until November because everybody wants one for Halloween so they can dress up as people with novelty belt buckles. Pfft, like that'll win the costume contest. The Blue Screen of Death (a... / Continue →
  • October 9, 2009
    This is a picture of a Nordic looking dude who may or may not be Link's biological father. He probably is, I just never pictured Link Sr. as a pantless cigar smoker. I mean, not that there's anything wrong with that. Love you Grandpa! Picture (WARNING: all other images on ... / Continue →
  • August 22, 2009
    Winkers are jeans that have graphics on the ass that appear to move as you walk. They're called Winkers because the first pair they designed have a pair of eyes that appear to wink. These are by far the most ridiculous pants I've ever seen, so, yeah, sure to be a hit. Now if... / Continue →
  • March 13, 2009
    A 17-year old and his family are suing Apple after an iPod Touch allegedly blew up in the sissy's pocket and caused 2nd degree burns. It claims the boy had his i-pod touch off and in his pocket at school on December 4th, when he heard a pop and felt a burning sensation. The ... / Continue →
  • March 9, 2009
    The Belt Sword is a questionable sword hidden within a belt. It was created to make dorks feel safe even though in a real-life situation they'd either forget they were wearing the thing or stab themselves trying to get it out. Also, they look suspiciously like aluminum-foil w... / Continue →
  • January 14, 2009
    You ever wonder what an underground ant colony looks like but were always too afraid the rascally bastards would escape if you bought an ant farm? Well fear not, little girl, that's what nature shows were made for. In this episode, a bunch of assholes pour 10 tons of cement d... / Continue →