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Results for "oh shit"

  • March 12, 2009
    Now I'm not saying there's not a place for reciprocating saws in the bedroom, I'm just saying if you do decide to get freaky with a power tool, TAKE THE BLADE OFF FIRST. Do not, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES (except really, really dire ones) just ram a fake wiener on the existing bl... / Continue →
  • August 12, 2008
    Remember when Boston Dynamics heralded the robot apocalypse with the creation of the BigDog? Well now the uncaring bastards have made a LittleDog too. You know, one that isn't as big or loud as the original. Why? To kill you easier. LittleDog is a quadruped robot for resea... / Continue →
  • August 11, 2008
    This is one of the most disturbing videos I've seen in a long time. It's two robots going at it with medieval weaponry. I have no idea why they exist, or what they're demonstrating, but I can't believe some shmuck programmed robots to swing weapons. WTF were you thinking? ... / Continue →
  • August 7, 2008
    The U.S. military has a goal -- that it's 30% robotic in twelve years. Why? Because robots don't feel pain, and when they die you just solder them back together or build a bitchin' chair out of the scrap metal. While advances in robot technology will probably result in mor... / Continue →
  • August 6, 2008
    Austrian man Martin Bierbauer was minding his own business, you know, getting his crap on, possibly flipping through a magazine or dirty joke book, when KA-BOOM! -- he was ass-blasted off the toilet by a barrage of hailstones from the shitty depths. "I heard the pipes rumbli... / Continue →
  • July 18, 2008
    Some guy opened his laptop to make a repair and found a rogue keylogger up in that mother. What could this mean? I called Dell tech support about it, and they said, and I quote, "The integrated service tag identifier is there for assisting customers in the event of lost or mis... / Continue →
  • June 9, 2008
    Self-replication is the third sign of an imminent robot takeover according to The Book Of The Robot Apocalypse, a novella I just wrote and which only contains that sentence. Well RepRap is a 3-D printer that is capable of replicating itself. Sort of. Technophobes needn't r... / Continue →
  • June 5, 2008
    Boeing recently tested their new 25 kilowatt solid-state laser, which is a step in the direction of a future 100 kW (keep in mind the Death Star was only packing something like 80 kW*) ray that will blow up the whole world and possibly Mars and Venus (which, honestly, is a shit... / Continue →
  • May 29, 2008
    If there's one thing I hate in the world it's robots. And that hate is only trumped by cute little monkeys in laboratories controlling robots with their brains. F'ing a. So yeah, a bunch of scientists that deserve to have their diplomas and lab jackets revoked have taught so... / Continue →
  • May 28, 2008
    iRobot, best known for selling Roombas (the vacuuming robots) and Loojes, (the ass-cleaning robots) has partnered with Metal Storm (the purveyor of 1,000,000 round/minute superguns) to create a robot that just made me destroy the back of my pants. The 250 pound vehicle is alle... / Continue →