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Results for "nose poison"

  • May 2, 2011
    I'm pretty sure that's an animal's penis. You know what the problem with touchscreens are? Nothing. Well, except when you want to use one in the bathtub but can't because your hands are all wet from playing submarine penis hunter or whatever. I sometimes use my touchphone ... / Continue →
  • March 1, 2011
    Probably should've practiced in the mirror longer. A 22-year old who was impersonating Professor Zoidberg from Futurama got his nose broken and teeth chipped after being punched in the face by a man who obviously hates cartoons. Whatever, I roundhoused a guy for doing a prett... / Continue →
  • February 2, 2011
    Whoa -- not the sausage, buddy! Japanese scientists have successfully trained a Labrador Retriever to sniff out bowel cancer by whiffing a person's breath or doodies (and not actual buttcheeks like I'd have you believe) with the accuracy of a colonoscopy. Hmmmm -- doctor wedg... / Continue →
  • January 13, 2011
    Look for the guy wearing Breathe-Right strips. Just a week after making his do-gooder way around the interwebs, real-life "superhero" Phoenix Jones has had his nose broken by an evil-doer, proving two noteworthy weaknesses: 1) well-placed punches and 2) lack of quick-healing s... / Continue →
  • June 21, 2010
    Pepper Mouth is a little USB peripheral that monitors your typing and releasing a stinky-ass spray if you type dirty words. *poof* WHAT -- because I typed stinky-ass? *poof* Mmmm -- I love a good stink. This first version blasts its obnoxious peppery smell whenever it detec... / Continue →
  • March 29, 2010
    Diesel, looking for a way to cash in on the upcoming Iron Man sequel, decided cologne was the way to go. It wasn't, Diesel (aluminum foil pants). Also, why's the bottle shaped like Iron Man trying to squeeze the life out of his wiener? Diesel's hoping you'll splash a little ... / Continue →